would be good even if I didn't like you. If not for people like you- people we have to catch and keep, I
could never control myself enough to go into town. With no outlet it gets . . . painful and crazy, sort of frenzied when
there are a lot of unconverted people around. I have dreams about suddenly finding myself moving through a crowd-
maybe on a big city street. Moving through a crowd where I have no choice but to keep touching people. I don't even
know whether to call it a nightmare or not. I'm on automatic. It's just happening."
"You'd like it to happen," he said, watching her.
"Pigshit!" she said, abruptly angry. "If I wanted it to happen, it would happen. I'd get in my car and I'd drive. I could
infect people in towns from here to New York. And I'd do exactly that if I ever had to leave this place. There would be
no one to help me, stop me." She hesitated, then sat down on the bed beside him. He managed not to recoil when she
took his hand. He was getting information from her. Let her touch him as long as she kept talking.
"You've got to understand," she said. "It's really hard on us the way we limit our growth. We can only do it because
we're so isolated. But if you escaped-with or without your kids-we'd have to escape too before you could send people
here to corral us. I don't know where we'd go, but chances are, we'd have to split up. Now you imagine, for instance,
Ingraham out there on his own. He was high-strung before, and damned undisciplined. He doesn't shake because there's
more wrong with him than with the rest of us. He shakes because he's holding himself back almost all the time. He
respects Eli and he loves Lupe. She's going to have his kid. But you force him out of here, and all by himself, he'll start
an epidemic you won't believe."
"And you're saying that will be my fault," Blake said angrily. She was boxing him in. Everything she said was intended
to close another exit.
"We'll do anything to avoid being locked up," she said. "I'll do anything to keep my sons from being taken from me."
"Nobody would take your-"
"Shut your mouth! They'd take them. They'd treat them like things. If they killed them-accidentally or deliberately, it
would just be one of their problems solved."
"Meda, listen-"
"So if you're afraid of an epidemic, Doctor, don't even think about leaving us. Even if you spread the word, you can't
possibly stop us." She switched tracks abruptly. "I'm starving. Do you want anything to eat?"
He was disoriented for a moment. "Food?"
"We eat a lot. You'll see."
"What if you didn't?" he asked, immediately alert. "I mean, I couldn't have put away the meal I saw you eat only a few
hours ago. What if you just ate normally?"
"We do eat normally-for us."
"You know what I mean."
"Yeah, I know. You're still seeking weakness. Well, you've found one. W^e eat a lot. Now what are you going to do?
Destroy our food supply?" She produced a key from somewhere, seemingly by magic. Her hands actually were quicker
than his eyes. "Don't even think about doing anything to the food," she said. "Someday I'll tell you how people like you
smell to my kids." She let herself out and slammed the door behind her.
She returned sometime later, bringing him a ham sandwich and a fruit salad.
"I'd like to see my daughters," he told her.
"I'll see," she said. "Maybe I can bring you one of them for a few minutes."
Her cooperativeness pleased but did not surprise him. She had children of her own and she could see that his concern
was genuine; there was no reason for her to find that concern suspect.
He was lying down, tired and frightened, hanging on to the bare bones of an escape plan when Eli brought Keira in.
Keira seemed calm. Eli left her without saying a word. He locked her in and probably stood outside listening.
"Are you all right?" Blake asked.
She answered the question he intended rather than the one he had asked. "He hasn't touched me," she said. She did not
sit
could never control myself enough to go into town. With no outlet it gets . . . painful and crazy, sort of frenzied when
there are a lot of unconverted people around. I have dreams about suddenly finding myself moving through a crowd-
maybe on a big city street. Moving through a crowd where I have no choice but to keep touching people. I don't even
know whether to call it a nightmare or not. I'm on automatic. It's just happening."
"You'd like it to happen," he said, watching her.
"Pigshit!" she said, abruptly angry. "If I wanted it to happen, it would happen. I'd get in my car and I'd drive. I could
infect people in towns from here to New York. And I'd do exactly that if I ever had to leave this place. There would be
no one to help me, stop me." She hesitated, then sat down on the bed beside him. He managed not to recoil when she
took his hand. He was getting information from her. Let her touch him as long as she kept talking.
"You've got to understand," she said. "It's really hard on us the way we limit our growth. We can only do it because
we're so isolated. But if you escaped-with or without your kids-we'd have to escape too before you could send people
here to corral us. I don't know where we'd go, but chances are, we'd have to split up. Now you imagine, for instance,
Ingraham out there on his own. He was high-strung before, and damned undisciplined. He doesn't shake because there's
more wrong with him than with the rest of us. He shakes because he's holding himself back almost all the time. He
respects Eli and he loves Lupe. She's going to have his kid. But you force him out of here, and all by himself, he'll start
an epidemic you won't believe."
"And you're saying that will be my fault," Blake said angrily. She was boxing him in. Everything she said was intended
to close another exit.
"We'll do anything to avoid being locked up," she said. "I'll do anything to keep my sons from being taken from me."
"Nobody would take your-"
"Shut your mouth! They'd take them. They'd treat them like things. If they killed them-accidentally or deliberately, it
would just be one of their problems solved."
"Meda, listen-"
"So if you're afraid of an epidemic, Doctor, don't even think about leaving us. Even if you spread the word, you can't
possibly stop us." She switched tracks abruptly. "I'm starving. Do you want anything to eat?"
He was disoriented for a moment. "Food?"
"We eat a lot. You'll see."
"What if you didn't?" he asked, immediately alert. "I mean, I couldn't have put away the meal I saw you eat only a few
hours ago. What if you just ate normally?"
"We do eat normally-for us."
"You know what I mean."
"Yeah, I know. You're still seeking weakness. Well, you've found one. W^e eat a lot. Now what are you going to do?
Destroy our food supply?" She produced a key from somewhere, seemingly by magic. Her hands actually were quicker
than his eyes. "Don't even think about doing anything to the food," she said. "Someday I'll tell you how people like you
smell to my kids." She let herself out and slammed the door behind her.
She returned sometime later, bringing him a ham sandwich and a fruit salad.
"I'd like to see my daughters," he told her.
"I'll see," she said. "Maybe I can bring you one of them for a few minutes."
Her cooperativeness pleased but did not surprise him. She had children of her own and she could see that his concern
was genuine; there was no reason for her to find that concern suspect.
He was lying down, tired and frightened, hanging on to the bare bones of an escape plan when Eli brought Keira in.
Keira seemed calm. Eli left her without saying a word. He locked her in and probably stood outside listening.
"Are you all right?" Blake asked.
She answered the question he intended rather than the one he had asked. "He hasn't touched me," she said. She did not
sit
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