back.”
She lay there for a moment, trying to sort through her thoughts, all while trying to remember to breathe. And no matter how she tried to think it through, she kept coming back to the same question she’d had earlier in the week.
She didn’t see how this was going to work. Which had sucked when she’d said it before. But now? Now that she’d had Clarence—now that he’d had her?
She heard the bathroom door open. Quickly, she stood and gathered her clothing, holding the bundle in front of her stomach.
Why didn’t this man have any curtains or shades or something to darken the room? Something to hide her body?
Clarence strode into the bedroom in all of his naked glory. Wow . He may be in his late thirties, but damn . He had a hell of a body. Maybe not a full six-pack of abs, but his chest—the chest that had been so recently against hers—was enough to make her start to drool.
She didn’t realize she’d uttered any words out loud until he turned a suggestive smile in her direction. “You like?” Then he noticed that she was holding her clothes. “Oh. Yeah—the bathroom—just down the hall.”
She swallowed down her nerves. “Okay. Thanks.”
She got cleaned up and dressed and then just . . . stood there for a minute, trying to figure out what to do next. How to respond to his ‘Whatever it takes,’ comment.
Because it would be so damned easy to say yes and let him do just that. To spending time with him. To letting Mikey spend time with him.
And she couldn’t. She couldn’t .
Once, she’d believed it when a man had promised to love her, to take care of her. Once.
It would be easy to love Clarence. It’d be so freaking easy to throw her lot in with his, to let him take some of the burden off her shoulders.
She didn’t know if she could ask that of him. To ask him to be a father to someone else’s child. Because what would happen when Mikey was, well, Mikey? When he had a bad day, a bad week—when he was a Tasmanian devil of a boy that ruined every single thing that he touched? Then what?
Ezra hadn’t even stuck around to see his own kid. She couldn’t imagine how, even if he was a ‘good one,’ Clarence would want to deal with Mikey day in and day out. Because there were days—dark, long days—when Tammy didn’t even want to deal with her own son. She wasn’t proud of herself on those days, but there it was. Being a full-time single parent was not all sunshine and rainbows.
She stared at herself in the mirror. All she’d wanted from Clarence was to be in the now . Why the hell couldn’t she get her mind out of the future ?
Well. She couldn’t hide in this bathroom forever. She forced herself to open up the door and walk out.
She peeked into the bedroom, half expecting to find a still-naked Clarence waiting for her, but the room was empty. She stared at the bed—it didn’t even look rumpled. Like they’d never had sex on it.
She padded out into the living room, but it was also empty. So was the dining room and the kitchen. It was only when she opened the back door that she found him, sitting in his chair with one refilled glass of lemonade in his hand and a second one—hers—on the table.
In that moment, as she looked at the fresh glass—complete with ice—set near the rose in the vase, she wavered. It’d be so easy to love him. That didn’t make it a bad thing, did it? That didn’t make her weak or stupid, did it? Not like she’d once been, right?
“Can you stay for a little bit longer?” He took a drink. His voice was level. “It’s about 2:45. If you need to get home to Mikey, I understand.”
Even though he sounded perfectly normal, she was sure she heard a hint of hurt in his voice. She opened the door and stepped outside. “I need to be home by four so Mom can get to work.”
He nodded, but he didn’t say anything else. His gaze was focused on the sky.
So she sat in the chair that was still close enough to his that she
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