Cinderella Screwed Me Over

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Authors: Cindi Madsen
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relationship with Charlie would’ve been better had we stuck to four lines.
    A few big fights later, I knew we weren’t going to work. But because I had so much fun when we went out, I hesitated to end it.
    I was sitting in his apartment with him and his friends when things took a turn for the worse. They were watching sports, like they did every minute they could.
    “Can you believe those chicks at the club last night?” Joe, one of Charlie’s roommates, said.
    “There should be a weight limit on girls dancing in the cages,” Charlie said.
    “And at Hooters.”
    Charlie tossed a handful of chips in his mouth. “Unless their boobs are what tips them over the scale,” he said through the crunching.
    I sat there for a moment, not believing what I’d just heard. “Seriously?”
    Eyes still locked on the screen, Charlie kissed my cheek. “Don’t worry, baby. You’re not even close to that weight.”
    I injected my words with sarcasm. “Yes, that’s what I’m worried about. Not that my boyfriend is a chauvinistic pig.”
    “When did you get so serious about everything?” he asked.
    I shoved the magazine I’d been looking at into my purse and sighed. “Good-bye, Charlie. You and I aren’t going to work out.”
    Charlie’s gaze actually left the screen this time. “Come on, baby. It will work if you just loosen up.”
    “Well, this is who I am.”
    “No, you used to be cool.”
    “No, you don’t really know me.” I’d never been very good at the break-up part, but I didn’t wan to end on a completely horrible note. “So, good luck with everything and all that. It was fun while it lasted.”
    “I don’t need this!” he shouted. “Just go!” He then proceeded to act like he was dumping me, even though I’d already ended the relationship.
    So I packed up my practically glass slippers and hit the road.
    Cinderella was the first fairy tale I remember—the one I was most obsessed with because of the gowns and magic and pretty shoes. Yes, her home life was less than ideal—and considering the talking mice and birds, she probably needed serious therapy. But she gave me the most unrealistic expectations of all. Falling in love at first sight, becoming a princess with everything she’d ever need at her disposal, and a relationship that ended happily ever after, with never an argument or bad day in sight.
    And worst of all, she made me think all I needed in life was a man to come and whisk me away.
    Time Wasted: Four months, but honestly, two of those were pretty fun.
    Lessons Learned:
    You have to actually talk to the person to get to know him.
    You need to know how to work as well as play. It’s about balance, not having some guy come in and show you how to have fun. Or tell you what an uptight workaholic you are.
    Make sure he at least has aspirations or ambitions of some kind.
    Never date a guy who thinks you’re more an object than a human being capable of using a brain.
    No sports fanatics.
    NEVER give your number out at a dance club.

Chapter Seven
    I punched the elevator button repeatedly, like that would make it come to pick me up faster. If I wasn’t wearing five-inch heels, I might’ve even considered running down the stairs. I hated being late, the stress when you had to rush to get somewhere. Which was why I was never late. Really, I wasn’t even that late. I’d probably get to the restaurant about ten minutes after my date did, but still, it drove me crazy. I didn’t even have Karl’s number to let him know.
    The elevator finally arrived.
    On the way down, I sent a text to Stephanie, stating I was running a few minutes behind for my date, hoping she’d pass on the information to Karl.
    I stepped out of the elevator and hurried across the parking garage toward my car. When I went to put my phone in my purse, I dropped my keys. I bent to pick them up and the contents of my unzipped purse poured onto the ground.
    “Argh!” Squatting down to get the items was no small feat,

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