Read Online Cheeseburger Subversive by Richard Scarsbrook - Free Book Online

Some of the toadies actually fall on the ground laughing over this. I pick up my little two-wheeled snail, mount it, and buzz away with my knees tucked under my armpits.
    A few days later, Dad steps into my room, where, other than to eat lunch and to take Smiley out to pee, I have been sequestered all day reading Lord of the Ring s.
    â€œHey, Dak,” Dad says. “Aren’t you going to get out there and rip around on your mini-bike in the vacant lots? It’s a beautiful afternoon for it.”
    â€œI’m not feeling very good, Dad.”
    â€œSounds like there’s lots of other kids out there having fun on their motorbikes.”
    Good for them , I thought, they’re probably laughing and waiting for the Anal Warrior to return for another round of humiliation.
    â€œYou do like the mini-bike, don’t you? You know, your mom still isn’t speaking to me . . . ”
    I just shrug. Dad has my helmet in his hands, which he tosses beside me on the bed.
    â€œI noticed that the letters on it got a bit scuffed up, so I painted the whole thing black for you. I hope you still like it.”
    â€œYeah, it’s better, actually.”
    â€œWell, good. Get back out there and have some fun.”
    I don’t want to disappoint him, so I say, “Sure, Dad. I’m just going to finish this chapter.” I figure I’ll listen out the window until the sound of the other engines is gone, then I’ll go out for a quick ride.
    Dad turns to leave but, when he gets to the doorway, he looks over his shoulder and says, “Life is too short to let anyone stop you from doing what you want to do.”
    There is maybe an hour of sun left when the hum of engines finally disappears from The Badlands; it is finally safe for me to saddle up the Moto-Pup for a ride. I am doing laps around a hill, with Smiley trotting along happily beside me, when I see one of the most beautiful sights I have ever seen. Above the western horizon, five fingers of deep orange sunlight break through a small cloud, leaving five glowing fingerprints on the surface of the earth. I take a run at the hill with the Moto-Pup, and with a little help from my feet, I manage to coax it up to the top of the hill for a better view.
    I kill the engine, remove my helmet, and stretch my arm out towards the sky. When I spread my fingers wide, and bend my wrist downward, it looks as though the sunbeams are flowing directly from my fingertips. I imagine I am a powerful wizard, and the beams of light are actually rays of magic.
    Then Smiley begins to growl.
    There, in the long shadow of the hill, leaning on their parked bikes, are Devin Orff and Cliff Boswink sharing a cigarette. It is probably hand-rolled and doesn’t smell like tobacco. Devin’s Dobermans are crouched beside him, their snarls growing louder.
    â€œLook, Devin, it’s the Anal Warrior!” Cliff Boswink calls out.
    â€œWhat the hell ya doin’, Anal?” Devin adds. “Prayin’ to the queen of the fairies?”
    â€œNah, Anal’s not gay, Orff,” Cliff wheezes, “at least not completely gay — he’s got the hots for some skinny little chick in his class. Zoe’s her name. She’s sweeeeeet .”
    â€œHas she got tits yet?” Devin Orff giggles. “Should we go find her and feel her up?”
    This imagery is just too much for my brain to handle, and my voice explodes from inside me. “Shut up, jerk!” I yell out. I kick at the starter of the Moto-Pup. I am going to race down the hill at full speed and ram the handlebars right into Devin Orff’s crotch for that remark. I kick and kick at the starter but the motor fails to fire.
    â€œ Oooooh , Anal just called me a jerk , Blaster. Maybe we should go have a talk with him about that.”
    Smiley growls louder as Devin Orff, Cliff Boswink and the two Dobermans saunter up the hill.
    Then I remember to turn the starter switch on, and the engine