advantage of you.”
“He's not like that.” He was exactly like that.
“I don't know him and what he's like, but I know you. I don't like the fighting and tears; that's not my girl. That's not you. That's desperation, and you don't need a boy that makes you feel desperate for affection. You need a boy who will pine for you and treat you like the princess you are.”
“I don't need your help with my relationship.”
“Fair enough. I'll just say one more thing, and then we can be done if you want. Sweetie, you are worth a boy working for. You are worth a boy climbing Mt. Everest, crossing the ocean, or building a castle to declare his love. You know, there's a man somewhere that did that? I think it was Florida ... he built a whole castle of rock, by hand, for the woman he loved. They'll do that—the right guy will love you that much. And you are worth it. And if Cole won't give it to you, don't settle for less because he's popular or cute or whatever is keeping you with him. If he thinks you're worth it, he will do whatever you say to be with you. Trust me: the right guy will stick around as long as it takes.
“That's mean.”
“Why?”
“It's leading them on.”
“Is it? So you should be with every boy that says he likes you?”
“No, but … you can't make a guy climb Mt. Everest to prove his love for you.”
“Why not?!” she asked with a devilish laugh. “How else do you know he'll really be there for you when you need him? How else does he know? It's a favor to them, too. They'll say anything to get you to sleep with them. You can't listen to what they say; you have to watch what they do.”
“You make it sound like it's all about sex.”
“It is!” She smiled and reached over to pat my hand. “At this age, trust me; it is all about sex for the boys.” I knew that; I was living it. Cole would say anything when he wanted me, but maybe my mom was right—he already won me, but I didn't want her to know, so I flipped it back to her.
“How do you know?”
She took a deep breath and sighed and drove a mile or more before coming clean. “Because I was your age once and wanted nothing more than to have a boy loves me. I see you look at Cole the way I used to look at a boy.”
“At Daddy?”
“No, not Daddy. Someone else ...” She took another exaggerated breath. “ Someones, ” she stressed. “I thought if I gave them what they wanted they would love me back the way I wanted. I did love them. I loved them so much. When you grow up in a small town like I did it was almost like there was nothing else to do when you started going out but tip cows and make out. I thought it was part of the deal. I don't know if it ever meant anything to them, but it meant something to me.”
“How many are we talking here?” I asked, slightly disgusted and disappointed in my mother.
“Does it matter?”
“Kind of ...”
“It doesn't matter.”
“It does. How many guys are we talking, Mom? How many before Daddy?”
“Enough ...”
“How many?” I couldn't imagine either of my parents with anyone but each other, let alone with multiple partners. Until then I never really thought about it, but she was being so evasive.
“How many is too many?” she asked.
I thought about it. How many was too many? I only wanted her with my dad. Anyone other than him, even if it was before him, was too many. I didn't want to answer. I was mad at her, but at the same time I did want to know because I was just like her with Cole. I already knew we weren't a forever kind of thing.
“Does Daddy know?”
“Yes and no. He knows enough to know he wasn't my first but not everything. He definitely doesn't know how much some of them meant to me ... I would like to keep it that way.” She was vulnerable. I respected her for that but I still couldn't believe it.
“Are you talking about having sex with other guys? Like sex-sex ... or other stuff?” I didn't want to say what I was thinking. I hoped she got what I
“He's not like that.” He was exactly like that.
“I don't know him and what he's like, but I know you. I don't like the fighting and tears; that's not my girl. That's not you. That's desperation, and you don't need a boy that makes you feel desperate for affection. You need a boy who will pine for you and treat you like the princess you are.”
“I don't need your help with my relationship.”
“Fair enough. I'll just say one more thing, and then we can be done if you want. Sweetie, you are worth a boy working for. You are worth a boy climbing Mt. Everest, crossing the ocean, or building a castle to declare his love. You know, there's a man somewhere that did that? I think it was Florida ... he built a whole castle of rock, by hand, for the woman he loved. They'll do that—the right guy will love you that much. And you are worth it. And if Cole won't give it to you, don't settle for less because he's popular or cute or whatever is keeping you with him. If he thinks you're worth it, he will do whatever you say to be with you. Trust me: the right guy will stick around as long as it takes.
“That's mean.”
“Why?”
“It's leading them on.”
“Is it? So you should be with every boy that says he likes you?”
“No, but … you can't make a guy climb Mt. Everest to prove his love for you.”
“Why not?!” she asked with a devilish laugh. “How else do you know he'll really be there for you when you need him? How else does he know? It's a favor to them, too. They'll say anything to get you to sleep with them. You can't listen to what they say; you have to watch what they do.”
“You make it sound like it's all about sex.”
“It is!” She smiled and reached over to pat my hand. “At this age, trust me; it is all about sex for the boys.” I knew that; I was living it. Cole would say anything when he wanted me, but maybe my mom was right—he already won me, but I didn't want her to know, so I flipped it back to her.
“How do you know?”
She took a deep breath and sighed and drove a mile or more before coming clean. “Because I was your age once and wanted nothing more than to have a boy loves me. I see you look at Cole the way I used to look at a boy.”
“At Daddy?”
“No, not Daddy. Someone else ...” She took another exaggerated breath. “ Someones, ” she stressed. “I thought if I gave them what they wanted they would love me back the way I wanted. I did love them. I loved them so much. When you grow up in a small town like I did it was almost like there was nothing else to do when you started going out but tip cows and make out. I thought it was part of the deal. I don't know if it ever meant anything to them, but it meant something to me.”
“How many are we talking here?” I asked, slightly disgusted and disappointed in my mother.
“Does it matter?”
“Kind of ...”
“It doesn't matter.”
“It does. How many guys are we talking, Mom? How many before Daddy?”
“Enough ...”
“How many?” I couldn't imagine either of my parents with anyone but each other, let alone with multiple partners. Until then I never really thought about it, but she was being so evasive.
“How many is too many?” she asked.
I thought about it. How many was too many? I only wanted her with my dad. Anyone other than him, even if it was before him, was too many. I didn't want to answer. I was mad at her, but at the same time I did want to know because I was just like her with Cole. I already knew we weren't a forever kind of thing.
“Does Daddy know?”
“Yes and no. He knows enough to know he wasn't my first but not everything. He definitely doesn't know how much some of them meant to me ... I would like to keep it that way.” She was vulnerable. I respected her for that but I still couldn't believe it.
“Are you talking about having sex with other guys? Like sex-sex ... or other stuff?” I didn't want to say what I was thinking. I hoped she got what I
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