Read Online Catchee Monkey: A Rex & Eddie Mystery (Rex & Eddie Mysteries Book 1) by Sean Cameron - Free Book Online Page A

Harold wandered out the office building and lit a cigarette. He noticed Eddie standing with the open bin bag.
    “What the bleedin’ hell are you doing?”
    Eddie forced a smile. “Uh, nothing.”
    Rex popped out of the wheelie bin and dropped another load of papers. The weight of the documents blew the bag’s smelly air into Eddie’s face.
    “That took me ages,” Harold said.
    “I’m sorry. We made a mistake,” Eddie said.
    “You’re gonna get me in trouble climbing around in that wheelie bin.”
    “Again, I’m sorry. How’d you carry all the papers down?” Eddie said.
    “I loaded up my wheelbarrow and rolled it down the stairs.”
    “I couldn’t borrow your wheelbarrow could I?
    “Nope. I left it at home, but you can have me last bin liner.”
    “Uh, this is your last bin liner.”
    “Bleedin’ cheek.”
    “Sorry.”
    After Rex filled the bag, Eddie carried it up to the office and poured the paper on the floor. Eddie dumped the third round of papers as the sound of a reversing lorry grew louder. Out the window, Eddie saw the bin men had come to empty the wheelie bin. As their lorry beeped towards the bin Eddie worried about Rex’s habit of freezing in troublesome situations. In a panic, he pulled on the window to shout out, but it was still stuck. He raced down the stairs. As he exited the back of the building the lorry’s hoist clung to the sides of the wheelie bin.
    “Stop!”  
    They couldn’t hear Eddie as the lorry rumbled and beeped. He ran to the nearest bin man, but the man didn’t hear anything with his ear protectors on. Eddie jumped and waved. The bin man had seen his fair share of nutters and waddled away unfazed. Eddie grabbed the bin man’s collar; at that point Eddie realised just how tall the bin man was. He hadn’t planned any further than grabbing the collar. Before he came up with a decent idea, the bin man shoved him back. Eddie flew four-foot before he hit the concrete.
    On his arse, Eddie screamed as the lorry’s hoist lifted the wheelie bin. It rained bin bags, soiled cardboard and empty paper cups so fast he thought he saw Rex fall, but couldn’t be sure.
    Eddie jumped up, shoved past the bin man, and rushed to the compactor button. With a clank and thunk the Lorry’s compactor crushed down. He was too late. Eddie got to the end of the truck and watched in horror while the lorry squashed its insides.
    “Eddie,” a happy voice called out. “They let me push the button.” Eddie turned his head and a delighted Rex waved from the compactor button. The rest of the papers were tucked under his arm.
    Eddie turned read. “I’m gonna kill you, you stupid bastard.” The bin men gathered around Rex with their arms folded like he was part of their posse. Eddie backed away with his arms in the air.
    Rex smiled. “It’s OK. We’re best friends.”
    The bin men calmed down and shook Eddie’s hand as a sign of peace. When Eddie got back in the office, he washed his hands three times before the smell disappeared, and twice more before he was satisfied.  
    ***
    “This is it,” Rex said. “This is the story we’ve been looking for.”
    After shuffling papers all day, they’d only read a third of Derek Lawrence’s stories. Eddie took the paper and scanned it.
    “The young boy snatched the VHS tape and ran out the shop,” Eddie read. “A shoplifter? Not quite murder level revenge. It’s maybe enough to warrant a strongly worded letter.”
    “Fine.” Rex chucked the story into what he’d dubbed "The Nope Pile.”
    Eddie sprayed air freshener around the office. The papers had been in the wheelie bin long enough to ferment in the juices and filth of everything else thrown in there. Unable to open the window, they took hourly breaks from the smell to spray half a bottle of Lavender Meadow.
    Eddie picked up a scruff of a letter. Dear Derek Lawrence , thank you for your most recent writing submission, The Chukka Boot Killer. We would be interested in representing you