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Self-Destructive Behavior
to use in the
curry you want them to cook, so if you care to look at it and ' "I'm sure it's fine,' I repeated.
'Oh.' Corinne looked taken aback, but she rallied brightly. 'Then there's the drink."
'I trust you completely.'
"But '
"Just make sure that there's more than you think necessary, then double it. Let's go and have a look outside.'
"Do you want to borrow some boots? The grass is still wet.' 'It doesn't matter."
Meg and I walked past the stream, through what must once have been a vegetable garden and over the spongy ground towards the lake. It was gorgeously dank and green. I picked up a stone and threw it into the water, watching how the duckweed closed over it immediately, leaving no trace. We looked at each other and giggled.
"I'm looking forward to seeing them fall off their raft into that,' I said.
'We want them to recommend us to their friends,' said Meg.
"We'll give them blankets and we'll sparkle and flutter our eyelashes at them,' I said. 'They'll recommend us.'
Meg pulled a face. "You make us sound like escort girls," she said.
"Aren't we?' I said.
'Stop it, Holly," she said. 'Don't talk like that. You've seen the letters we've had -raised productivity, improved morale.'
I put my arm round her shoulders and she put her hand on
mine. "That's right, my dear,' I said. 'I've read the brochure. Do you notice something?'
'What?'
"There are some birds making an annoying noise and the wind is rustling in the trees, but apart from that it's almost quiet. It's difficult to believe that London's in the same world.'
"We're about to go back there.'
'What I'd really like to do is check into one of the rooms myself, go to sleep and you could wake me up when you come for the weekend."
"Unfortunately you've got a life you have to deal with. And a husband.'
Meg drove back and I tried to read the map, and talked. 'Since I couldn't book a room, what I'd really like to do is climb into the back and go to sleep.'
'Be my guest,' said Meg.
People always say that that's when they felt safest. Their parents would drive them back from somewhere late at night and they would sleep and feel safe. My main memory of being driven by my father is that we left London to go to some party and we didn't find it, and then my mum and dad started having a row and my dad lost control of the car and drove off the road and we ended up in a ditch. A farmer had to pull us out with his tractor. It was quite fun, actually.
I didn't crawl into the back but I did fall asleep and I only woke when Meg pulled up outside my house and said cheerfully that we were home.
'You're the best driver in the world,' I said. "I didn't feel a thing.'
7
And then it was Sunday evening and it was all over. I came back into the house to find Meg in Corinne and Richard's kitchen, her hands cupped round a mug of coffee. 'You can come out now," I said. "They've gone.'
Meg gave me a weary grin. 'Are you sure there isn't one hiding somewhere?'
I shook my head. 'I counted them all out,' I said. 'Is there any more of that?' Meg nodded at a cafeteria by the sink and I poured black coffee into a mug with a jaunty message written on it. 'I always feel there should be something more,' I said. 'Shouts of "'encore" and bouquets of flowers.'
'Just so long as their cheque doesn't bounce,' said Meg. 'How much sleep did you get?'
"I'm not sure. Did I sleep?'
'I did.'
'You always do.'
'It's not a crime, you know. Sleep's not immoral or lazy. You
don't have to stay up all night to prove yourself.' "I know that. Meg?" "Yes."
'Do you ever feel squeezed out?'
'Squeezed out?'
'Like one of those old cloths you use for wiping the floor. Then you twist it and lots of horrible dirty water pours out.'
'Let me get this straight,' said Meg. 'In this image, if you're the old cloth, the horrible dirty water must represent the employees of Macadam Associates with whom we've just spent the weekend.'
'And then you put the cloth into a cupboard and
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