Read Online Carnal Sin by Allison Brennan - Free Book Online
Authors: Allison Brennan
Tags: Horror & Ghost Stories
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counter. The man was the best damn trainer on the planet. He was also arrogant, cunning, and rigid. There were no gray areas with Rico, no weakness, no slacking. If you didn't perform 100 percent every minute of every day, his criticism was wicked.
"Spit it out, Rico. I know what you're thinking."
Rico didn't show agitation or surprise. "I doubt that."
"You don't trust me. You still think I was somehow party to the priests' murders at the mission."
Just saying it out loud caused the acid in Rafe's stomach to bubble and burn. Guilt warred with the injustice of Rico's silent accusations.
"I know you would have given your life to save any one of those men." Rico's words stunned Rafe into silence. "However, you're correct that I don't trust you."
"What's going on?" Rafe asked, though he wasn't quite sure what he was asking. The pressure of the last two weeks--awakening from his drug-induced coma, saving the young Lily Ellis, stopping the coven, losing Father Philip, and then the rigorous physical therapy to regain his strength--weighed on him. Not to mention that while everyone else had had months to mourn the deaths of the twelve priests last November, in Rafe's mind only two weeks had passed.
"You could have been a brilliant theologian or demonologist, but you left St. Michael's for St. John's. You could have been a great priest, but you left St. John's for Olivet. You could have been a top warrior, but you left Olivet to return to the seminary. Yet you never took your vows, leaving St. John's for Santa Louisa de los Padres." Rico assessed him. "How can I trust you? You have no direction, no true allegiance. It's as if you're waiting for something, unable to commit. At your age, that's unacceptable."
Rafe's blood boiled. "I am loyal to St. Michael's." Rico didn't respond. "Dammit, Rico, how dare you doubt my devotion!"
"Moira has never lied to me until today. She's protecting you."
"Don't be an idiot. Moira isn't protecting me from you."
Moira lied to Rico? What had she said? Rafe had never asked her to keep any secrets, though they had skirted around some of their concerns about what happened to him in the hospital while he was in the coma. Was that what she didn't want to tell Rico?
"Then explain to me how you learned to stop the Conoscenza ritual. How you knew the language."
"I don't know. The words just came to me." Rico's disapproval and doubt mirrored Rafe's own heart, but he pushed it aside. He wished he knew how he'd been able to save Lily Ellis, the arca , the teenager who would have been sacrificed to house the Seven Deadly Sins in her body for Fiona and her coven to use at will. He'd just ... known. And he hadn't stopped the ritual; he'd only saved Lily and prevented the coven from trapping the demons. They'd been released into the world, and people were still probably dying because of it.
He had some ideas about his knowledge, but those ideas terrified him. From his dreams--his nightmares--Rafe knew things he should not know. And sometimes he had the sense that he wasn't quite himself anymore. But he couldn't tell Rico any of this. Because deep down, while he never doubted Rico's loyalty to the demon hunters he trained, he also knew that Rico was ruthless. Any members of the Order who showed signs of mental instability were sent back to Italy for "observation," but they were really in a glorified prison. Even with all the screening and protection and training, some members snapped.
"Anthony is protecting you, I understand," Rico said. "You and Anthony have always been close, and I appreciate the support you've given each other over the years. So if Anthony is somewhat blind to what's been going on, I can take his comments and report with a grain of salt. But Moira?" Rico slammed his palm on the counter, a rare physical burst of anger. "She's never lied to me. But she did it fully knowing what she was doing. I know her better than she knows herself, and I will not tolerate her hedging."
"What are you
"Spit it out, Rico. I know what you're thinking."
Rico didn't show agitation or surprise. "I doubt that."
"You don't trust me. You still think I was somehow party to the priests' murders at the mission."
Just saying it out loud caused the acid in Rafe's stomach to bubble and burn. Guilt warred with the injustice of Rico's silent accusations.
"I know you would have given your life to save any one of those men." Rico's words stunned Rafe into silence. "However, you're correct that I don't trust you."
"What's going on?" Rafe asked, though he wasn't quite sure what he was asking. The pressure of the last two weeks--awakening from his drug-induced coma, saving the young Lily Ellis, stopping the coven, losing Father Philip, and then the rigorous physical therapy to regain his strength--weighed on him. Not to mention that while everyone else had had months to mourn the deaths of the twelve priests last November, in Rafe's mind only two weeks had passed.
"You could have been a brilliant theologian or demonologist, but you left St. Michael's for St. John's. You could have been a great priest, but you left St. John's for Olivet. You could have been a top warrior, but you left Olivet to return to the seminary. Yet you never took your vows, leaving St. John's for Santa Louisa de los Padres." Rico assessed him. "How can I trust you? You have no direction, no true allegiance. It's as if you're waiting for something, unable to commit. At your age, that's unacceptable."
Rafe's blood boiled. "I am loyal to St. Michael's." Rico didn't respond. "Dammit, Rico, how dare you doubt my devotion!"
"Moira has never lied to me until today. She's protecting you."
"Don't be an idiot. Moira isn't protecting me from you."
Moira lied to Rico? What had she said? Rafe had never asked her to keep any secrets, though they had skirted around some of their concerns about what happened to him in the hospital while he was in the coma. Was that what she didn't want to tell Rico?
"Then explain to me how you learned to stop the Conoscenza ritual. How you knew the language."
"I don't know. The words just came to me." Rico's disapproval and doubt mirrored Rafe's own heart, but he pushed it aside. He wished he knew how he'd been able to save Lily Ellis, the arca , the teenager who would have been sacrificed to house the Seven Deadly Sins in her body for Fiona and her coven to use at will. He'd just ... known. And he hadn't stopped the ritual; he'd only saved Lily and prevented the coven from trapping the demons. They'd been released into the world, and people were still probably dying because of it.
He had some ideas about his knowledge, but those ideas terrified him. From his dreams--his nightmares--Rafe knew things he should not know. And sometimes he had the sense that he wasn't quite himself anymore. But he couldn't tell Rico any of this. Because deep down, while he never doubted Rico's loyalty to the demon hunters he trained, he also knew that Rico was ruthless. Any members of the Order who showed signs of mental instability were sent back to Italy for "observation," but they were really in a glorified prison. Even with all the screening and protection and training, some members snapped.
"Anthony is protecting you, I understand," Rico said. "You and Anthony have always been close, and I appreciate the support you've given each other over the years. So if Anthony is somewhat blind to what's been going on, I can take his comments and report with a grain of salt. But Moira?" Rico slammed his palm on the counter, a rare physical burst of anger. "She's never lied to me. But she did it fully knowing what she was doing. I know her better than she knows herself, and I will not tolerate her hedging."
"What are you
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