pleased but continued, ‘Only we didn’t know when.’
Charles rubbed his hands and tidied his moustache over large yellow teeth. If it hadn’t been for the sherry bottle I might have thought he’d had a stroke as he slurred, ‘She didn’t shay to expeck a young filly though, did she?’ His eyes gleamed.
I’d a quick think. Whatever hazard he might present, naked or otherwise, I needed to get him sober. I moved to the curtains and jerked them open. The little metal wheels securing them to a rail screamed.
‘I shay!’ Charles put his hands over his ears whilst Ginny fumbled in the bedclothes. ‘Where’s those dratted gaspers?’ She had the wheeze of an enthusiastic smoker. ‘Charles darling, have you got the lighter?’
One minute I’m trying to get a patient warm in bed and the next I’m trying to stop one going on fire, I thought, deciding on a brisk approach.
‘I’m a great believer in the restorative power of fresh air,’ I declared, and shot up the window. A chilly draught accompanied my words. ‘Now, I’m going to pop downstairs, make you something to drink and once you’ve had that, you’ll be ready for your bath, Captain.’
‘Brrh! Ginny, put down your chiggy and warm me up.’ My patient had burrowed down under the bedclothes, leaving just his eyes and moustache visible. The bedclothes started to move as if alive.
Ginny slapped at them, inhaling as deeply as someone gasping for air. ‘Ooh, you naughty boy!’ Casually, she put her cigarette to the side.
If it hadn’t been for the fire risk I might just have left them to it, said I’d call another day. Instead I made a big show of shoving the window up another couple of inches then, promising a swift return, hurried downstairs.
I left the kitchen door open and made the kettle whistle several times, hoping it would have alerted the Saunders-Hewitts to progress. When I carried two cups of strong Camp Coff ee back upstairs, Charles was sitting up and now wearing silk pyjamas so grand they could do for a state occasion.
‘What a dishturber of the peashe you are,’ he complained. ‘Jusht when Ginny and I were shettling down again, I’d to get up and dreshed to shut that damn window.’ He looked at the coff ee. ‘And I don’t want thish. I shuspect it tashtes vile.’
‘I’d be happier if you did drink it,’ I said, pleased at the bad temper. He must be sobering up. ‘Sister Shiach said you liked something strong to start you for the day. I’m presuming she meant coffee. I have to meet her quite soon.’ I made a big play of consulting my watch. ‘We’re running a bit out of time, I’d hate to have to tell her you’ve missed out on your bath.’
Ginny plucked his arm. ‘Just do as the wee nursie says. We mustn’t upset Sister Shiach.’ She gave a genteel hiccup, smoothed back her grey hair and placed a finger over her lips. ‘Oooh, excuse me.’ The red nail varnish showed vivid against her pale face.
Leaving the Captain unhappily slurping, I looked for the bathroom and found a huge room with an enormous bath in the middle of it. Some worrying plumbing noises came from a towel rail with bars the size of organ pipes. But at least it was warming the large monogrammed towel laid over it and took the chill from the high-ceilinged room.
‘Always run cold water first in any bath. You don’t want to scald your patient.’ Remembering a past nursing tutor’s advice, I turned on the tap. Water gushed from it as if it came from the Falls of Glomach and was so noisy I didn’t hear my patient arriving.
‘No!’ I cried, but too late. He’d thrown away his pyjamas, and before I could stop him, he’d plunged into a bath half-full of freezing water.
9
MEN MAY WORK
Jomo wagged his tail and cocked his head as he watched his mistress leaning helplessly over her desk. Wiping away tears of laughter, she asked, ‘So what happened after the Captain took to the water?’
We were in a small room in her house. I expect it was
Charles rubbed his hands and tidied his moustache over large yellow teeth. If it hadn’t been for the sherry bottle I might have thought he’d had a stroke as he slurred, ‘She didn’t shay to expeck a young filly though, did she?’ His eyes gleamed.
I’d a quick think. Whatever hazard he might present, naked or otherwise, I needed to get him sober. I moved to the curtains and jerked them open. The little metal wheels securing them to a rail screamed.
‘I shay!’ Charles put his hands over his ears whilst Ginny fumbled in the bedclothes. ‘Where’s those dratted gaspers?’ She had the wheeze of an enthusiastic smoker. ‘Charles darling, have you got the lighter?’
One minute I’m trying to get a patient warm in bed and the next I’m trying to stop one going on fire, I thought, deciding on a brisk approach.
‘I’m a great believer in the restorative power of fresh air,’ I declared, and shot up the window. A chilly draught accompanied my words. ‘Now, I’m going to pop downstairs, make you something to drink and once you’ve had that, you’ll be ready for your bath, Captain.’
‘Brrh! Ginny, put down your chiggy and warm me up.’ My patient had burrowed down under the bedclothes, leaving just his eyes and moustache visible. The bedclothes started to move as if alive.
Ginny slapped at them, inhaling as deeply as someone gasping for air. ‘Ooh, you naughty boy!’ Casually, she put her cigarette to the side.
If it hadn’t been for the fire risk I might just have left them to it, said I’d call another day. Instead I made a big show of shoving the window up another couple of inches then, promising a swift return, hurried downstairs.
I left the kitchen door open and made the kettle whistle several times, hoping it would have alerted the Saunders-Hewitts to progress. When I carried two cups of strong Camp Coff ee back upstairs, Charles was sitting up and now wearing silk pyjamas so grand they could do for a state occasion.
‘What a dishturber of the peashe you are,’ he complained. ‘Jusht when Ginny and I were shettling down again, I’d to get up and dreshed to shut that damn window.’ He looked at the coff ee. ‘And I don’t want thish. I shuspect it tashtes vile.’
‘I’d be happier if you did drink it,’ I said, pleased at the bad temper. He must be sobering up. ‘Sister Shiach said you liked something strong to start you for the day. I’m presuming she meant coffee. I have to meet her quite soon.’ I made a big play of consulting my watch. ‘We’re running a bit out of time, I’d hate to have to tell her you’ve missed out on your bath.’
Ginny plucked his arm. ‘Just do as the wee nursie says. We mustn’t upset Sister Shiach.’ She gave a genteel hiccup, smoothed back her grey hair and placed a finger over her lips. ‘Oooh, excuse me.’ The red nail varnish showed vivid against her pale face.
Leaving the Captain unhappily slurping, I looked for the bathroom and found a huge room with an enormous bath in the middle of it. Some worrying plumbing noises came from a towel rail with bars the size of organ pipes. But at least it was warming the large monogrammed towel laid over it and took the chill from the high-ceilinged room.
‘Always run cold water first in any bath. You don’t want to scald your patient.’ Remembering a past nursing tutor’s advice, I turned on the tap. Water gushed from it as if it came from the Falls of Glomach and was so noisy I didn’t hear my patient arriving.
‘No!’ I cried, but too late. He’d thrown away his pyjamas, and before I could stop him, he’d plunged into a bath half-full of freezing water.
9
MEN MAY WORK
Jomo wagged his tail and cocked his head as he watched his mistress leaning helplessly over her desk. Wiping away tears of laughter, she asked, ‘So what happened after the Captain took to the water?’
We were in a small room in her house. I expect it was
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