Read Online Bring Me Home by Candi Wall - Free Book Online

moment ago.”
    â€œThat’s not what I mean.”
    She pushed away and sat on the edge of the bed. Awful didn’t describe how she felt at the moment. With a long, angry look, he stood, straightening his clothes with stiff motions. “I guess you’ll have to explain ’cause I can’t seem to keep up with your moods.”
    â€œMy moods?” She climbed farther onto the bed and stared out the window. “They’re not moods. I’m not a silly little girl. I told you I didn’t want any emotion.”
    â€œAnd I told you I couldn’t play that way.”
    She shook her head, knowing she should have heard him and believed it from the start. “That’s why I tried to convince myself to stay away from you. But then you touch me and every intention I have disappears.”
    â€œWhy do you suppose that is?”
    â€œI don’t know.” She pulled her fingers through her hair, trying to reason it out in her head.
    â€œYes you do.” He sat down next to her. “I think it’s as simple as you not wanting to believe you left for the wrong reason. That you made a mistake and you still, even after all this time, love me.”
    The thought turned her stomach. If what he said was true, if she’d walked out, upset, stressed, completely devastated, and if she was honest—relieved, over nothing more than a misunderstanding, she’d killed their baby for no reason. The tears dropped freely now, and she met his gaze. She’d tried to stay away from him, but he kept pushing, kept asking, kept touching.
    If there was one way to guarantee he’d leave her alone, the knowledge that her actions had caused them to lose their baby would do it.
    â€œI was emotional at the time.” She took a steadying breath. “More so than I would have normally been. I may have handled things differently, if I hadn’t been pregnant.”

Chapter Six
    â€œWhat?” He jerked back, shock and pain etching his face in a dark scowl. He stood and walked to the window with stiff movements, resting his fists on the windowsill. “I really need you to explain, Miya.”
    Taking a steadying breath, she rushed on. “I was pregnant when I came to you that night. I’d known for well over a week and hadn’t figured out a way to tell you. When I decided to throw it out there and hope for the best for us, I found you and Susan.”
    His fist hit the wall with brutal force. His back was to her, his shoulders trembling. He stood there, not moving for several moments before turning to face her. “Did you—” His voice cracked. “Did you have the child? Do I have a son or daughter out there somewhere?”
    â€œNo.” She shook her head, unable to meet his dark, pain-filled gaze. “I didn’t know what I was going to do. I got on the bus and cried.”
    Two long strides brought him to her bed and his hands closed over her arms, his grip almost painful as he shook her. “You killed our baby? How— How could you do that?”
    She’d asked herself that a million times over. “I didn’t mean for it to happen. The doctor said—”
    â€œShut up!” He drew away, his face a mask of revulsion. “I don’t care what any doctor said. Nothing gave you the right to abort my child. I would have raised it myself.”
    â€œI didn’t abort, Shawn.” She squeezed her eyes shut as the memory of the painful miscarriage flooded back. “The doctor said the stress didn’t cause it, but I know better. She was just trying to make me feel better. If I’d stayed and handled this all the right way, our baby would be here now.”
    There. She’d finally said the words she’d never said.
    He said nothing, and she rushed on. “You see. I hated you for doing this to me, and hated myself for our baby’s death. I can’t believe that even now, after all this time and all this