Read Online Bring Me Home by Candi Wall - Free Book Online Page A

hurt that I still respond to you the way I do. I asked you to stay away, no emotion, no expectations, because of this rancid guilt. I’ve hated you and myself for so long, I didn’t know if I could feel anything else. All I knew was that when I was away, I could forget, at least for a while.”
    Undefined emotion played in his green eyes, his gaze never leaving hers. When he would have come near, she held up a hand to stall him. “Please don’t.”
    For one second she thought he’d refuse. Then he stepped back, his eyes tortured. “I wish I’d known. Maybe I would have handled this differently from the start. I hate that you had to go through that alone and that you blamed yourself. I would have been there for you.”
    Self-loathing rooted her to the bed. She couldn’t move, could barely breathe. What did he think of her? Of the baby that might have been? It was all surreal, talking about a baby as an inanimate object that could have been dealt with in its time, in a different manner. “I didn’t believe that then.”
    â€œI think you did,” he pressed. “I think you panicked and saw a baby and what you saw with Susan as the reason you’d always needed to get out of Dead End.”
    â€œNo,” she breathed, hating that her deepest fears were so close to his statement.
    He shook his head. “It doesn’t matter now, anyway. I still love you. I never stopped. But you’ve got to let go of what happened and see what’s still here. You didn’t kill our baby. Fate took that out of our hands.”
    â€œI can’t.” Too many nights alone with her guilt had fused it to her heart.
    He knelt before her and pushed her hair behind her ear. “You can. I see it when we make love. Everything else goes away. We can make that happen all the time, if you give us a chance. But I’m not going to push you. The hurt you’ve gone through is unimaginable, and part of that is my fault. Hell, probably all of it is. If I’d given more, showed you that I’d be there no matter what—”
    â€œDon’t.” God, she couldn’t handle him taking this all on his shoulders right now. The sadness in his eyes and the dampness pooling there were crushing.
    â€œI hope you change your mind and choose to stay,” he stated flatly. Brushing his fingers over her eyebrow, he pressed a kiss to her forehead. He inhaled deeply before he continued. “But I’ll understand if you don’t.”
    Then he walked away, and all she could do was let him go.
    Miya looked through the dusty window to the ice cream shop. “This place hasn’t changed at all.”
    She turned to Chloe. Something was on her friend’s mind. She’d been quiet all morning, which was as far from the norm as it could get. Miya had a funny feeling it had something to do with the details she’d given her friend about Shawn and his take on what had happened years ago.
    Chloe stared down the small street. “You know. I always thought you were meant to be a city girl, like me.” Her eyes softened and she sighed. “But seeing you here, Mi. I think this is where you really belong.”
    Miya shook her head, but Chloe held up a finger and started to pace.
    â€œYes, you do. Every time we came across a baby, you’d sigh. Now I know why. Your apartment is decorated almost the same as your mother’s house. Again, now I understand. You hate the traffic and the smells in New York. Think about it. We have fun, going to the clubs, shopping. Starrrrrbucksssss,” she sighed. “But you don’t belong there. You want a comfy little home with lots of kids and lemonade on the porch in the evening.”
    Chloe’s slight scowl revealed her disgust of the homey thought, and Miya laughed. “It’s part of my past, Chlo.”
    â€œNo.” Chloe insisted. “It’s who you are deep down. Your heart is here,