education,” she said bitterly.
He turned her face up with a long sigh. “Oh, no,” he said. “It wasn’t that.” His eyes dropped to her soft lips. “It’s been years since I’ve enjoyed a woman’s body, since I’ve indulged the need to touch and stroke and arouse. You make me want to find out how gentle I could be, Shelly.” He stopped, looking puzzled and irritated and even a little vulnerable.
Shelly searched his face with sad, quiet eyes. “Do I?”
He touched her face with something like wonder. “In the very beginning, I loved Ben’s mother. I felt such tenderness for her, such aching need. But she wanted what I could give her in a material sense. For her it was a business deal, and Ben was my price.” He winced. “She never loved me. She died in the arms of another man, and I hated her and loved her and mourned her for years afterward. Since then, women have been nothing more than an amusement. I’ve used them,” he confessed, lifting his eyes to hers. He searched her face slowly. “But, I couldn’t use you. And that being the case, I think it’s better for both of us if we forget everything that’s happened.”
CHAPTER FIVE
S HELLY LOWERED HER EYES to his chest and tried not to appear as devastated as she felt. She was already looking ahead to a time when she wouldn’t see him again. He wanted her, but wanting was not going to be enough. She knew that and so did he. His mind was clouded by the desire he felt. Once he satisfied it, the clouds would vanish and he’d hate them both. Even if she were tempted, and she was, it wouldn’t be wise to let things go any further.
“You mean we shouldn’t see each other again,” she said miserably.
“That’s about it.” He moved away from her, pushing the wet hair from his damp face. “We won’t be here much longer,” he added. “We’ll muddle through.” He searched her face quietly. “Somehow.”
She forced a smile. “What about Ben?” she asked.
“He’s crazy about you. Don’t deny him your company.”
“I hadn’t planned to.”
He touched her soft cheek gently. “Shelly,” he said huskily, “you know it wouldn’t work. Even if I took a chance on your age, our social backgrounds are too far apart.”
“And that would never do,” she agreed, averting her eyes.
“I’m a banker. I have a position that requires discretion.” He shrugged. “I’ve never cared much for convention, but when the jobs of other people depend on it, I can give the image I need to give. Besides,” he added bitterly, “it isn’t as if marriage would ever enter into any relationship I had. Do you understand?”
She lifted her eyes to his hard face, seeing the resignation and stubborn determination there. “You don’t trust women. Is that why you let Marie get such a hold on you? She was safe?”
“I know all about Marie,” he said, without taking offense. “She’s devious and snappy, and selfish to a fault. She has grown up around wealth. She enjoys throwing her weight around.”
“So I noticed,” Shelly said.
“Ben thinks you’re very special,” he said, his voice deep and soft. “So do I, Shelly. I’m sorry. I wish…I really wish things had been different. We seem to have a lot in common. We might discover even more.”
“So we might. But taking risks isn’t your specialty, is it?”
He shook his head. “I only bet on a sure thing. This isn’t.” He touched her mouth and slowly drew back. “I’m sorry.”
“So am I. But,” she added, drawing in a steady breath as she struggled for something light, “whatever happens, we’ll always have Paris.”
It took a minute for that to sink in. By the time he started to laugh, she was already halfway to the beach.
* * *
F AULKNER, TRUE TO HIS WORD , didn’t come near her again. Ben did. He haunted her.
“Can’t you find something else to do?” she wailed.
He grinned and shook his head, because he knew sheliked him. Her face was an open book. “You can’t
He turned her face up with a long sigh. “Oh, no,” he said. “It wasn’t that.” His eyes dropped to her soft lips. “It’s been years since I’ve enjoyed a woman’s body, since I’ve indulged the need to touch and stroke and arouse. You make me want to find out how gentle I could be, Shelly.” He stopped, looking puzzled and irritated and even a little vulnerable.
Shelly searched his face with sad, quiet eyes. “Do I?”
He touched her face with something like wonder. “In the very beginning, I loved Ben’s mother. I felt such tenderness for her, such aching need. But she wanted what I could give her in a material sense. For her it was a business deal, and Ben was my price.” He winced. “She never loved me. She died in the arms of another man, and I hated her and loved her and mourned her for years afterward. Since then, women have been nothing more than an amusement. I’ve used them,” he confessed, lifting his eyes to hers. He searched her face slowly. “But, I couldn’t use you. And that being the case, I think it’s better for both of us if we forget everything that’s happened.”
CHAPTER FIVE
S HELLY LOWERED HER EYES to his chest and tried not to appear as devastated as she felt. She was already looking ahead to a time when she wouldn’t see him again. He wanted her, but wanting was not going to be enough. She knew that and so did he. His mind was clouded by the desire he felt. Once he satisfied it, the clouds would vanish and he’d hate them both. Even if she were tempted, and she was, it wouldn’t be wise to let things go any further.
“You mean we shouldn’t see each other again,” she said miserably.
“That’s about it.” He moved away from her, pushing the wet hair from his damp face. “We won’t be here much longer,” he added. “We’ll muddle through.” He searched her face quietly. “Somehow.”
She forced a smile. “What about Ben?” she asked.
“He’s crazy about you. Don’t deny him your company.”
“I hadn’t planned to.”
He touched her soft cheek gently. “Shelly,” he said huskily, “you know it wouldn’t work. Even if I took a chance on your age, our social backgrounds are too far apart.”
“And that would never do,” she agreed, averting her eyes.
“I’m a banker. I have a position that requires discretion.” He shrugged. “I’ve never cared much for convention, but when the jobs of other people depend on it, I can give the image I need to give. Besides,” he added bitterly, “it isn’t as if marriage would ever enter into any relationship I had. Do you understand?”
She lifted her eyes to his hard face, seeing the resignation and stubborn determination there. “You don’t trust women. Is that why you let Marie get such a hold on you? She was safe?”
“I know all about Marie,” he said, without taking offense. “She’s devious and snappy, and selfish to a fault. She has grown up around wealth. She enjoys throwing her weight around.”
“So I noticed,” Shelly said.
“Ben thinks you’re very special,” he said, his voice deep and soft. “So do I, Shelly. I’m sorry. I wish…I really wish things had been different. We seem to have a lot in common. We might discover even more.”
“So we might. But taking risks isn’t your specialty, is it?”
He shook his head. “I only bet on a sure thing. This isn’t.” He touched her mouth and slowly drew back. “I’m sorry.”
“So am I. But,” she added, drawing in a steady breath as she struggled for something light, “whatever happens, we’ll always have Paris.”
It took a minute for that to sink in. By the time he started to laugh, she was already halfway to the beach.
* * *
F AULKNER, TRUE TO HIS WORD , didn’t come near her again. Ben did. He haunted her.
“Can’t you find something else to do?” she wailed.
He grinned and shook his head, because he knew sheliked him. Her face was an open book. “You can’t
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