Read Online Business Without the Bullsh*t: 49 Secrets and Shortcuts You Need to Know by Geoffrey James - Free Book Online
Authors: Geoffrey James
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says, do not react. When the histrionics are over, casually acknowledge that the dramatist has expressed an opinion, then move on to whatever issue actually needs to be addressed.
4. THE ICONOCLAST
Iconoclasts thrive on the negative attention that comes from disrespecting other people, especially those in authority. They’ll break even the most sensible rules (social and business alike), just to show they can get away with it.
For example, I once worked with a guy who couldn’t resist describing our boss to everyone (including many people who knew the boss socially) as “shit for brains.”
Admittedly, our boss wasn’t exactly a klieg light. Even so, the constant negativity made a bad situation worse, except for my coworker, who clearly enjoyed the attention that came from verbally bucking authority.
The best way to deal with iconoclasts is to distance yourself from them while you’re at work. While they’re sometimes entertaining, iconoclasts eventually get axed, along with anybody who’s seen as part of their clique.
5. THE DRONER
Droners are always ready to give a presentation—usually one that everyone has heard before. They list their bullet points on multiple slides and with grim determination read each one aloud.
The problem with droners is that, most of the time, they don’t realize that they’re boring. They may truly believe their data-rich slides are fascinating, or at least so vitally important that they deserve your full attention.
The best way to cope with droners is to try to avoid meetings to which they have been invited. If that’s not possible, find a way tomake the drone time useful. For example, you might answer e-mails on your tablet under the guise of taking notes.
If you can control the rules of the meeting, you can set a “one slide per person” rule for meeting, or better yet a “no PowerPoint” rule. You’ll be surprised how much this will force even a droner to focus on what’s really important.
6. THE FRENEMY
A frenemy pretends to be your biggest cheerleader, your best confidant, and the only person who’s really on your side. Meanwhile the frenemy is subtly sabotaging everything you do.
Under the guise of praise, a frenemy will make a comment that’s intended to sap your self-confidence. Example: “You did so well at that big presentation that almost nobody noticed the typos.”
A frenemy is always ready to help you out with a problem, in theory at least. When it comes to actually delivering the goods, the frenemy always has a plausible excuse as to why it just wasn’t possible.
To cope with frenemies, either avoid them completely or, if that’s not possible, be polite but do nothing to encourage the “friendship.” The frenemy’s power lies in the ability to get under your skin. That’s more difficult if you keep your distance.
7. THE TOADY
In business everyone sucks up to the boss, at least some of the time. It’s human nature to ingratiate yourself with those in power, and even the best bosses expect and appreciate the occasional word of homage.
However, there’s a huge difference between giving your boss the occasional kiss on the butt and permanently wedging your face in the crack. Toadies constantly praise everything the boss does, hoping to receive favors in return.
Toadies are bad coworkers for two reasons. First, they waste theirtime and energy stroking the boss’s ego rather than doing productive work. Second, bosses who tolerate toadyism become impervious to any advice that’s not fulsome praise.
If you end up working with toadies, understand that the real problem is the boss. Therefore you have exactly two choices: find another boss or become a toady yourself.
8. THE VAMPIRE
Workplace vampires suck all the energy out of the room the moment they appear. Vampires always have a reason something won’t work, a story that illustrates the futility of trying, and an endless list of unsolvable problems.
Vampires aren’t depressed. Far from it.
4. THE ICONOCLAST
Iconoclasts thrive on the negative attention that comes from disrespecting other people, especially those in authority. They’ll break even the most sensible rules (social and business alike), just to show they can get away with it.
For example, I once worked with a guy who couldn’t resist describing our boss to everyone (including many people who knew the boss socially) as “shit for brains.”
Admittedly, our boss wasn’t exactly a klieg light. Even so, the constant negativity made a bad situation worse, except for my coworker, who clearly enjoyed the attention that came from verbally bucking authority.
The best way to deal with iconoclasts is to distance yourself from them while you’re at work. While they’re sometimes entertaining, iconoclasts eventually get axed, along with anybody who’s seen as part of their clique.
5. THE DRONER
Droners are always ready to give a presentation—usually one that everyone has heard before. They list their bullet points on multiple slides and with grim determination read each one aloud.
The problem with droners is that, most of the time, they don’t realize that they’re boring. They may truly believe their data-rich slides are fascinating, or at least so vitally important that they deserve your full attention.
The best way to cope with droners is to try to avoid meetings to which they have been invited. If that’s not possible, find a way tomake the drone time useful. For example, you might answer e-mails on your tablet under the guise of taking notes.
If you can control the rules of the meeting, you can set a “one slide per person” rule for meeting, or better yet a “no PowerPoint” rule. You’ll be surprised how much this will force even a droner to focus on what’s really important.
6. THE FRENEMY
A frenemy pretends to be your biggest cheerleader, your best confidant, and the only person who’s really on your side. Meanwhile the frenemy is subtly sabotaging everything you do.
Under the guise of praise, a frenemy will make a comment that’s intended to sap your self-confidence. Example: “You did so well at that big presentation that almost nobody noticed the typos.”
A frenemy is always ready to help you out with a problem, in theory at least. When it comes to actually delivering the goods, the frenemy always has a plausible excuse as to why it just wasn’t possible.
To cope with frenemies, either avoid them completely or, if that’s not possible, be polite but do nothing to encourage the “friendship.” The frenemy’s power lies in the ability to get under your skin. That’s more difficult if you keep your distance.
7. THE TOADY
In business everyone sucks up to the boss, at least some of the time. It’s human nature to ingratiate yourself with those in power, and even the best bosses expect and appreciate the occasional word of homage.
However, there’s a huge difference between giving your boss the occasional kiss on the butt and permanently wedging your face in the crack. Toadies constantly praise everything the boss does, hoping to receive favors in return.
Toadies are bad coworkers for two reasons. First, they waste theirtime and energy stroking the boss’s ego rather than doing productive work. Second, bosses who tolerate toadyism become impervious to any advice that’s not fulsome praise.
If you end up working with toadies, understand that the real problem is the boss. Therefore you have exactly two choices: find another boss or become a toady yourself.
8. THE VAMPIRE
Workplace vampires suck all the energy out of the room the moment they appear. Vampires always have a reason something won’t work, a story that illustrates the futility of trying, and an endless list of unsolvable problems.
Vampires aren’t depressed. Far from it.
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