the woods. And Melis, you get fennel from my physic garden.â
Bertram and Ludolf are already out the door.Melis looks at me. Picking herbs from the garden should be my job. Heâs sick of doing my chores. And in his face I see something else: Iâm a thorn in his side. He s the one who told Bertram to let me be because Iâm still sick, but heâs angry for that very fact. He suffers a double injusticeâfor he has to do my home chores because Iâm sick, and he isnât allowed to become a cleric because Iâm sickly, so I get that role. But he doesnât protest now; anyone can see I canât do the chores. I wish heâd protest. Iâd feel less guilty then. But he just leaves.
GroÃmutter goes to her sewing bins. She takes out linen, fine linen, the finest we haveâthe stuff she calls
Godwebbe
. She goes to her wooden chest that no one other than me is allowed to touch. She takes out a handful of incense sticks. Thereâs going to be a ritual of some sort.
Iâm on my feet again.
âGet back down,â she says.
âYouâll need me. And Iâm feeling better,â I lie.
She shakes her head, but she doesnât insist. âDrink your tea.â
I walk to the stove. Iâm light-headed from eating nothing but brewed herbs for two days. Kuh walks behind me, practically under my heels. I look into the pot thatâs been steeping since last night. Awedge of hog lung bobs in a mess of froth. Mustard greens and caraway seeds add colored spots to the gray liquid. I drink the whole pot. Then I eat the lung. I wipe the scudge off the inner sides of the pot with my finger and I lick it clean. Iâve absorbed every bit of nourishment and healing power this brew has to offer. It may be working. A hint of energy makes my ears buzz.
I go to lift the linen.
âNo, no, carry Kuh,â says GroÃmutter. âOnly Kuh.â She goes to the shelf and gets a sprig of mustard and a sprig of caraway, twists them together with yarn, and hangs the charm around my neck.
This is one of the dangerous practices on Albert the Great s list. It is acceptable to drink brews from herbs. But it is dangerous to wear herbsâor eagle clawsâor anything else. âThe brew is efficacious,ââ I say, using one of Pater Fredericks words. I lift the yarn necklace off over my head. âBut amulets and hanging herbsâtheyâre superstition. They do nothing.â
GroÃmutterâs face goes slack. âIs this the moment to question?â Her voice grows hissy. âYou sleep under a blanket I wove to protect you.â She whispers now. âStay with me, Salz.â
I couldnât fall asleep without that blanket.
I put the yarn necklace back on.
Have I let myself off the hook for the same reason Pater Frederick in Höxter doesâbecause I figure a dying person should be allowed minor transgressions? Do I humor myself?
GroÃmutter gathers the linen against her chest. âAnd you can hold these, too.â She hands me the incense. âThatâs enough for you to carryâKuh and the incense. Stay right behind me.â
We go straight to Father, who has dug a wide and shallow hole on one side of the cow barn. GroÃmutter lays the linen in a loose pile in the center. Bertram stands outside the hole, at a respectful distance, despite the disparaging way he talked of GroÃmutter just minutes ago. He hands her fresh logs, and she forms a cone around the linen with them, balancing the logs on their fatter ends, with the other ends coming together in a point. Melis hands GroÃmutter the fennel. She shoves it between the logs, in among the linen. Ludolf comes running from the woods, as thin and breakable as the brittle stalks he clutches. He empties his arms into GroÃmutterâs, and she arranges the coarse hassock on top of the log cone.
GroÃmutter turns to me. I hold out the incenseto her, but she puts her hands
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