Read Online Break Me (Taken Series Book 2) by Whitney Cannavina - Free Book Online
Authors: Whitney Cannavina
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protect me and save me.
How do you know what is real and what is not? Just being here with all these confusing thoughts is making me angry and sad because I don’t really understand it. How am I supposed to know what is right or wrong when I can’t get a hold of my emotions? Jeremy is screwing with my head and my heart. He somehow has made me want him without even knowing it. Slowly he has pushed his way inside my heart and made me believe him and need him. And I do. I want him so much it hurts. I want him with me always. Just being in his arms or when he kisses me feels like heaven. I feel content just having him in the same room as me. How did this happen? How did I go from hating him with every fiber of my being to loving him so much it hurts? He can’t know. If he knew I felt this way about him then I know that he will somehow use that against me.
I jump up and pace trying to tamp down all these emotions warring with each other when Jeremy finds me some time later. He knows there is something wrong. In this moment, I want to hate him. I stop and stare at him trying with all that I have to hate him but I can’t and I hate that I can’t. What is happening to me?
Jeremy doesn’t say anything and instead walks surely towards me as if he knows what my latest revelation is and pulls me into his warm and hard body in a comforting gesture. I can’t help myself when my arms wrap tightly around him and squeeze needing his comfort. Even though he’s the reason for my distress, he is also the reassuring and comforting presence I need in this moment of clarity. It was in this moment that I realized no matter what Jeremy did, I would forever love him in some sick and twisted way. I also realized I could never let him know of these feelings and ever since that day, I have made sure to push him away from me.
***
As I sit in my room, I weep for all those poor souls that have no idea just what is about to happen to them. I want to throw and break things but refrain myself for the sole reason I don’t want to be punished. Why is life so cruel? I look around searching for something, anything to take my mind off what is happening down stairs. I need a distraction. I start in my closet rearranging my clothes in color coordinate then by usefulness. You know, formal, semi formal, casual, etc. I do the same for my shoes, my dresser drawers and then I start moving around all my little trinkets that I have been given since being here. When I make it to my desk to straighten all my papers I see my diary is open and writing that isn’t mine scrawled across the paper. For just a moment, I think that maybe Jeremy has opened and read my diary and anger bubbles inside of me at the thought. My most private thoughts and feelings are in there and he promised that I could have this one thing to myself. I breathe deeply through nose and out my mouth to calm down before I read what he has to say.
Baby girl,
I couldn’t help but gaze at your beauty tonight. You are more beautiful than I could ever imagine and it has been too long since I have seen you.
I need you to know that I am ok. I told you I would protect you and I have failed at that twice now but this ends soon. I can’t say when but I promise I am not far. Stay strong for me baby girl and know that I love you and I will come for you.
Love
Forrest
My heart stops and the breath I was holding whooshes out of me in relief and fear. Relief at knowing Forrest is alive and that he was coming for me. Fear because I know Jeremy will never allow me to be taken from him again. He will kill to have and keep me and I have no doubt that Forrest will not make it out alive this time. I need to find a way to keep him from coming for me. I can’t handle losing him again. I haven’t recovered from the first time and I know if I lost him a second I would lose the little bit of sanity I have left. Would I end up a monster like
How do you know what is real and what is not? Just being here with all these confusing thoughts is making me angry and sad because I don’t really understand it. How am I supposed to know what is right or wrong when I can’t get a hold of my emotions? Jeremy is screwing with my head and my heart. He somehow has made me want him without even knowing it. Slowly he has pushed his way inside my heart and made me believe him and need him. And I do. I want him so much it hurts. I want him with me always. Just being in his arms or when he kisses me feels like heaven. I feel content just having him in the same room as me. How did this happen? How did I go from hating him with every fiber of my being to loving him so much it hurts? He can’t know. If he knew I felt this way about him then I know that he will somehow use that against me.
I jump up and pace trying to tamp down all these emotions warring with each other when Jeremy finds me some time later. He knows there is something wrong. In this moment, I want to hate him. I stop and stare at him trying with all that I have to hate him but I can’t and I hate that I can’t. What is happening to me?
Jeremy doesn’t say anything and instead walks surely towards me as if he knows what my latest revelation is and pulls me into his warm and hard body in a comforting gesture. I can’t help myself when my arms wrap tightly around him and squeeze needing his comfort. Even though he’s the reason for my distress, he is also the reassuring and comforting presence I need in this moment of clarity. It was in this moment that I realized no matter what Jeremy did, I would forever love him in some sick and twisted way. I also realized I could never let him know of these feelings and ever since that day, I have made sure to push him away from me.
***
As I sit in my room, I weep for all those poor souls that have no idea just what is about to happen to them. I want to throw and break things but refrain myself for the sole reason I don’t want to be punished. Why is life so cruel? I look around searching for something, anything to take my mind off what is happening down stairs. I need a distraction. I start in my closet rearranging my clothes in color coordinate then by usefulness. You know, formal, semi formal, casual, etc. I do the same for my shoes, my dresser drawers and then I start moving around all my little trinkets that I have been given since being here. When I make it to my desk to straighten all my papers I see my diary is open and writing that isn’t mine scrawled across the paper. For just a moment, I think that maybe Jeremy has opened and read my diary and anger bubbles inside of me at the thought. My most private thoughts and feelings are in there and he promised that I could have this one thing to myself. I breathe deeply through nose and out my mouth to calm down before I read what he has to say.
Baby girl,
I couldn’t help but gaze at your beauty tonight. You are more beautiful than I could ever imagine and it has been too long since I have seen you.
I need you to know that I am ok. I told you I would protect you and I have failed at that twice now but this ends soon. I can’t say when but I promise I am not far. Stay strong for me baby girl and know that I love you and I will come for you.
Love
Forrest
My heart stops and the breath I was holding whooshes out of me in relief and fear. Relief at knowing Forrest is alive and that he was coming for me. Fear because I know Jeremy will never allow me to be taken from him again. He will kill to have and keep me and I have no doubt that Forrest will not make it out alive this time. I need to find a way to keep him from coming for me. I can’t handle losing him again. I haven’t recovered from the first time and I know if I lost him a second I would lose the little bit of sanity I have left. Would I end up a monster like
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