Read Online Boys That Bite by Mari Mancusi - Free Book Online

Magnus says, looking pained. "Marcia, we're here to speak with Lucifent. Is he ready to see us?" Marcia shoots me one last glare, then sulkily presses an intercom button on her phone. "Your eight o'clock is here," she mutters. "Send them in." She nods her head toward the ornate mahogany door behind her. "He's all yours." I follow Magnus as he opens the door and heads into the rear office, stopping only for a moment to stick my tongue out at Marcia. Childish, I know, but oh so satisfying. The bee-yotch flips me the bird. Lucifent's office turns out to be as deluxe as the rest of the underground coven. The only thing missing is windows. I'd hate the no-windows thing, were I to become a permanent vamp. Though the Picassos on the wall might make up for their absence somewhat. The floors are made of gleaming hardwood and a giant mahogany desk lies in the center of the room. Behind the desk sits Haley Joel Osment, the little kid from that creepy Sixth Sense movie. Okay, maybe it's not Haley Joel himself. But this kid looks a lot like him—has the whole blond hair, wide eyes thing going on. Definitely a cutie pie. Must be Lucifent's kid or something. I mean, who knows, maybe it's Take Your Son to Work Day on the vampire calendar. "Hey you," I say, crouching down to smile at him. I love children. So sweet and innocent and full of life before age jades them into sullen, sarcastic brats who would sell their own mothers for a nickel bag of pot. "You're so cute. I bet your daddy is really proud of you. How old are you now?" "Oh, about three thousand, give or take a hundred," the kid snarls, his happy baby face morphing into a very pissed-off look. "Magnus," he rages. "What is the meaning of this?" Have you ever seen that cartoon Family Guy with that baby, Stewie, who talks like he's an adult and constantly tries to take over the world? That's sort of what this kid is reminding me of all of a sudden. I glance over at Magnus, who looks angry and frightened and nervous all at the same time. "I am very sorry, my lord," he says, bowing low to the kid. "She doesn't know." O-kay then. I'm totally lost here. I really should have read that stupid blog. Magnus rises from his reverential bow and turns to face me. "Sunny," he hisses in a tight voice. "This is Lord Lucifent, leader of the Blood Coven. High priest of the eastern vampire conglomerate of the United States of America." I raise an eyebrow and glance over at the kid sitting behind the enormous desk. "Haley Joel Osment here is your fearless leader?" I start to laugh. I can't help it. It's just so funny to think of this little Dennis the Menace look-alike as the leader of the vampires. Soon I'm laughing so hard tears are falling down my cheeks. This is who everyone is scared of? The almighty Lucifent? I can barely resist the urge to go over and pinch the little rascal's cheeks. "Can you please shut her up?" Lucifent demands in an adorable squeaky little-boy voice. Heh. He looks positively livid. So does Magnus for that matter. "Sunny, listen to me," Magnus says in a snarly voice. A voice way more intimidating than little Lucifent's. "Unless you are happy with the idea of remaining a vampire for the rest of your life, I suggest you stop laughing this instant." Oh. Okay, if you put it that way ... I swallow back my giggles and adopt my most serious expression. "Sorry," I mutter. "Now bow to Lucifent," Magnus hisses from the corner of his mouth. "And pay your respects to our lord." Oh, jeez Louise! But I guess, whatever it takes, right? I drop a little curtsy, feeling somewhat ridiculous. "Who is this ignorant woman, Magnus, and why have you brought her to me?" demands Lucifent. "I am appalled by this show of disrespect." Magnus shuffles from foot to foot. "Well, you see, sir, there's been, a, um ..." "Case of mistaken identity," I state, figuring he needs some help spitting it out. Magnus shoots me a tortured glare, not looking at all grateful for my assistance in explaining the situation.