was inside. So maybe that
whomever wasn’t one of them.
Who, then?
My friend the ratman came home from his shift at the graveyard,
drunk as usual. In my less charitable moments I’ve wished he
would get lost in one of the graves he digs.
He shuffled up to my new window, glanced inside.
Whatever he saw, it was interesting. He watched for a minute.
When he moved on he cast furtive looks around. He didn’t see
anyone watching. That must have given him courage. He slipped over
and tried the door.
It opened.
Barbera came blazing out of the shadows. He climbed all over the
ratman. When he had him pounded down to about three feet high, he
took off, headed my way.
A little message for me from Denny’s pals.
Misdelivered.
I reckoned they needed an answer.
I stepped out of the shadows as Barbera lumbered past. He caught
me from the corner of his eye. I said, “Hi, there,” and
smacked his ear with my sap as his eyes grew big and he tried to
turn.
He did not go down. But his knees got wobbly and his eyes
glazed. I kicked him low, punched him high with my left, bounced
the sap off his forehead.
He wobbled a little more.
They need a lot of pounding when they’re hopped.
I gave him all he needed, and then some, and when he no longer
knew what planet he was on, I snagged the seat of his pants and
walked him into an alley, where I gave him a few more taps with my
sap. Then I took his pouch of weed. A while later I paid a
half-dwarf half-goblin wino to deliver it to Vasco with the word
that he had not gotten his money’s worth.
That taken care of, it was time to see about my intruder.
I didn’t do any seeing. When I got back to where I could
see my place, a troop of Tates were going inside, stepping over the
groaning ratman like he was something that fell behind the horse.
In a moment they marched back out with an angry Tinnie.
So there you go. Exactly my kind of luck. If I found the pot of
gold at the end of the rainbow, I’d break my leg running
toward it and have to lie there watching some other clown walk away
with it while I did my groaning.
I let the street clear. Then I went and got a bucket of beer and
locked myself inside. Nobody disturbed me.
----
----
14
I’d planned to surprise everybody by showing up at the
Tate place at the crack of dawn, ready to travel. But I had a dream
about Loghyr bones.
Maybe it was the beer. That beer was green. But I knew better
than to ignore it. It could be a summons from the Dead Man.
The worst thing about going out in the morning is that the sun
is there. It slaps you right in the eyes. When you go back inside
you can’t see squat.
Squat was what I saw when I went into the Dead Man’s
place. It was as dark as a crypt in there.
About time, Garrett. Did you come via Khaphé?
“That wasn’t a dream, eh?”
No.
“What do you want?”
I do not have the resources to follow all your adventures
from afar. If you want my help and advice, you have to report to me
occasionally.
I figured that was as near as he would get to saying he owed me.
I would take what I was given. “What do you need?”
Details of what you have seen and learned since your last
visit.
So I gave it to him, without leaving anything out.
He pondered awhile.
Buy yourself some poison rings, Garrett.
Carry a boot knife.
That was not the advice I expected. “Why?”
Are you known for such things?
“No.”
Do the unexpected.
“I hiked all the way over here for that?”
It is the best I can do given the information you make
available.
Make it my fault. Just like him. I did him a few odd jobs,
cleaned the place up some, and burned some sulfur candles to make
the vermin’s lungs more robust. I wondered what Morley
thought about breathing air. It’s kind of hard to inhale
green, leafy vegetables.
Then I took the Dead Man’s advice. I stocked up on lethal
hardware. I even picked up a few sneaky-petes I recalled from my
Marine days. Let them come after me now, I thought. I’m
whomever wasn’t one of them.
Who, then?
My friend the ratman came home from his shift at the graveyard,
drunk as usual. In my less charitable moments I’ve wished he
would get lost in one of the graves he digs.
He shuffled up to my new window, glanced inside.
Whatever he saw, it was interesting. He watched for a minute.
When he moved on he cast furtive looks around. He didn’t see
anyone watching. That must have given him courage. He slipped over
and tried the door.
It opened.
Barbera came blazing out of the shadows. He climbed all over the
ratman. When he had him pounded down to about three feet high, he
took off, headed my way.
A little message for me from Denny’s pals.
Misdelivered.
I reckoned they needed an answer.
I stepped out of the shadows as Barbera lumbered past. He caught
me from the corner of his eye. I said, “Hi, there,” and
smacked his ear with my sap as his eyes grew big and he tried to
turn.
He did not go down. But his knees got wobbly and his eyes
glazed. I kicked him low, punched him high with my left, bounced
the sap off his forehead.
He wobbled a little more.
They need a lot of pounding when they’re hopped.
I gave him all he needed, and then some, and when he no longer
knew what planet he was on, I snagged the seat of his pants and
walked him into an alley, where I gave him a few more taps with my
sap. Then I took his pouch of weed. A while later I paid a
half-dwarf half-goblin wino to deliver it to Vasco with the word
that he had not gotten his money’s worth.
That taken care of, it was time to see about my intruder.
I didn’t do any seeing. When I got back to where I could
see my place, a troop of Tates were going inside, stepping over the
groaning ratman like he was something that fell behind the horse.
In a moment they marched back out with an angry Tinnie.
So there you go. Exactly my kind of luck. If I found the pot of
gold at the end of the rainbow, I’d break my leg running
toward it and have to lie there watching some other clown walk away
with it while I did my groaning.
I let the street clear. Then I went and got a bucket of beer and
locked myself inside. Nobody disturbed me.
----
----
14
I’d planned to surprise everybody by showing up at the
Tate place at the crack of dawn, ready to travel. But I had a dream
about Loghyr bones.
Maybe it was the beer. That beer was green. But I knew better
than to ignore it. It could be a summons from the Dead Man.
The worst thing about going out in the morning is that the sun
is there. It slaps you right in the eyes. When you go back inside
you can’t see squat.
Squat was what I saw when I went into the Dead Man’s
place. It was as dark as a crypt in there.
About time, Garrett. Did you come via Khaphé?
“That wasn’t a dream, eh?”
No.
“What do you want?”
I do not have the resources to follow all your adventures
from afar. If you want my help and advice, you have to report to me
occasionally.
I figured that was as near as he would get to saying he owed me.
I would take what I was given. “What do you need?”
Details of what you have seen and learned since your last
visit.
So I gave it to him, without leaving anything out.
He pondered awhile.
Buy yourself some poison rings, Garrett.
Carry a boot knife.
That was not the advice I expected. “Why?”
Are you known for such things?
“No.”
Do the unexpected.
“I hiked all the way over here for that?”
It is the best I can do given the information you make
available.
Make it my fault. Just like him. I did him a few odd jobs,
cleaned the place up some, and burned some sulfur candles to make
the vermin’s lungs more robust. I wondered what Morley
thought about breathing air. It’s kind of hard to inhale
green, leafy vegetables.
Then I took the Dead Man’s advice. I stocked up on lethal
hardware. I even picked up a few sneaky-petes I recalled from my
Marine days. Let them come after me now, I thought. I’m
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