Boogers from Beyond #3

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asked. “Your tight uniform?”
    â€œMore comfortable,” said the Nurse.
    â€œI see,” said Shane, thinking about it as the Nurse walked away.
    The kitten took off down the hallway toward the East Wing. The puppy gave a sharp bark that echoed in the foyer, and chased after the kitten.
    â€œCareful of the zombies!” I yelled at the furballs, and turned to my friends.
    â€œThey’ll be eaten alive!” I said.
    â€œI dunno,” said Shane. “Everyone loves puppies and kittens.”
    â€œExactly,” said Gordon. “Sooooo tasty!”
    â€œI wonder if Director Z knows about this yet,” Nabila said.
    â€œLet’s go talk with Grigore first,” I said.
    We found the batty old vampire in the game room with the huge fireplace. He was talking with Grace, the most with-it of the zombies. She moaned in approval at something he said.
    â€œAre you guys agreeing on who gets to eat them?” I asked.
    â€œOh, no,” said Grigore. “Your mother’s gift is just vonderful. We vouldn’t even think of eating them.”
    â€œMy mother’s gift?” I asked, confused.
    â€œThe puppy and kitten,” said Grigore. “It vas so nice of them to thank us for using the space.”
    â€œThe puppy and kitten are from the PTA?” I asked.
    â€œYes,” said Grigore. “They vere at the door this morning. I vas the vone who heard them scratching. They came vith a nice note.”
    â€œOh no,” said Ben. “The PTA has no idea what it’s done.”
    â€œWhere’s the note?” I asked, not believing that my mother would send a puppy and kitten—at least not without talking to me first.
    â€œI don’t know,” said Grigore. “I lost it somevhere vhile ve vere playing.”
    There was a bark in the hallway, and the cat rushed into the room and pounced on Ben. Ben screamed.
    â€œNooooo!” He grabbed the cat and tried to pull it off of himself.
    â€œClaudine!” Grigore stood up and yelled. “Bad kitten! No, Claudine!”
    â€œThey named the cat Claudine?” Gordon asked, chuckling.
    â€œMy allergies!” Ben continued screaming as Grigore pulled the kitten off of him.
    When Grigore finally got the cat off, Ben was covered in cat hair.
    â€œGet the hair off of me!” said Ben. “Hurry! I’m gonna get hives!”
    We brushed the hair off of Ben while Grigore sat down and stroked Claudine.
    â€œGrab my inhaler, Nabila!” Ben shrieked. “Hurry!”
    â€œI’m hurrying, I’m hurrying!” she shrieked back.
    She dug around furiously in her fanny pack, and when she finally found the inhaler, she shoved it into Ben’s hand.
    He pulled off the cap, shoved the inhaler into his mouth . . .
    . . . and stopped.
    â€œWhy aren’t you using it?” I asked.
    â€œI don’t think I need it,” he said. “I’m usually hacking and coughing and wheezing as soon as cat hair hits my skin, but I feel fine.”
    â€œMaybe it’s one of those hypoallergenic cats?” Nabila said.
    â€œHypo-what?” asked Gordon.
    â€œCats that are less likely to trigger your allergies,” Nabila said.
    â€œAHHHH . . .
    â€œAHHHHHHHHH . . .
    â€œCHOOOOOO!” sneezed Grigore, and his dentures flew into the fireplace. They jumped out of the flames and chattered out into the hallway, most likely heading down to Grigore’s coffin in the dungeon.
    â€œGuess not,” said Shane.
    Before we could come up with any more theories, there was a scream from the hallway.
    â€œYou MONSTERS,” said an otherworldly voice. “WE WILL DESTROY YOU!!!”

Cute and Cuddly Poop Machines
    The room shook violently. A chandelier fell on top of the chessboard, flinging Howie the werewolf and Jimmy the Moth Man back onto the dusty carpet.
    The fire blew out in the fireplace.
    A great roar thundered down the

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