Read Online Body of Water by Stuart Wakefield - Free Book Online
Authors: Stuart Wakefield
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wedding. If he was home, I would wait all night for one more, one last, glimpse of him.
I wondered why he wouldn't have contacted me on his return before reminding myself that he hadn't contacted me at all. Perhaps his wife - wife! - was with him. Maybe he blamed me for his father finding us together. Maybe he was scared of me for what I'd done that night. God knows his dad was.
Thank heavens for Beth; without her I'd have no friends at all.
At just past midnight I saw her familiar shape tottering down the street, laden with shopping bags. Clearly Beth's day spent shopping had segued into a drinking session with her friends. She shouldn't be drinking at sixteen. Please God, I thought, don't let her end up like her drunken mother.
As she neared her house I hammered on my bedroom window to get her attention. She stopped and looked up and down the road like a lazy lighthouse, unable to identify the source of the sound.
I raced downstairs and into the street. As I reached her she dropped her bags and threw her arms around me.
"Levvy! Levvy-kins. My darling, I've had the most wonderful day. You should come out with me and the girls one night. They'd love y-"
I scooped up her bags in one hand and put my arm around her shoulder to guide her to my house. As she stumbled to keep up with me she chattered on about her day, what she'd bought, and the latest Primrose Hill gossip. In any other circumstance I'd be interested, living it with her, feeling less isolated than if I'd been left to my own devices, but right now I needed her strength and support.
Several black coffees later she was sober enough to realise the enormity of my reluctance to read the letter. She sat at the kitchen table, opposite me. I pushed it towards her but she didn't pick it up. She seemed as scared of its contents as I was.
"Your dad gave you this?"
I nodded.
"Have you spoken to him since?"
"No, I went out looking for you and when I got home he was out. He hasn't come back yet." As urgent as the letter was to me, I had another pressing concern. "Listen, Beth, earlier today I thought I saw-"
"Shaun's home."
I jumped to my feet. "I have to see him."
"Sit down, Lev."
"Why?"
She sighed as if she'd gone over this with me a hundred times. "He won't see you."
"Why not?"
"Why do you think? He doesn't want a scene."
Anger pushed against the boundary of my feelings. "Why are you protecting him? You chose me, remember?"
Beth laughed humourlessly. "I'm not protecting him. I'm protecting you. He doesn't want a scene because he's a coward. I don't want a scene because I don't want to see you get hurt."
"And if I want a scene? What about that?"
"I think you've had enough scenes to last you a lifetime, haven't you? Besides, this letter," she picked it up, "could prove to be a massive disappointment."
Her brow crumpled as she saw it had already been opened. The question formed on her face before she could ask me.
"Dad has read it." My answer was shaky.
"Didn't he tell you what it said?"
Sitting down, I shook my head then motioned for her to continue.
"Why didn't you just read it yourself? I'd be desperate to find out what it said."
"Please Beth. I can't handle any more bad news."
"You're becoming such a drama queen." She pulled a sheet of paper out of the envelope and unfolded it. What looked like a photograph, dropped face-down onto the table. I could just make out the brand printed diagonally across the back.
Beth pulled her legs up so her feet perched on the edge of her chair. Her knees rested on the table. She picked up the photograph and looked at it for a long time, looked at me, and then back at the photograph. Slowly, she put it down, face-down, on the table. Her eyes roamed across the page of the letter.
I watched her face for any flicker of emotion but it remained impassive and unreadable. When she finished the letter she put it on top of the photograph and pushed it towards me.
The tension was unbearable. I placed my hand on the letter
I wondered why he wouldn't have contacted me on his return before reminding myself that he hadn't contacted me at all. Perhaps his wife - wife! - was with him. Maybe he blamed me for his father finding us together. Maybe he was scared of me for what I'd done that night. God knows his dad was.
Thank heavens for Beth; without her I'd have no friends at all.
At just past midnight I saw her familiar shape tottering down the street, laden with shopping bags. Clearly Beth's day spent shopping had segued into a drinking session with her friends. She shouldn't be drinking at sixteen. Please God, I thought, don't let her end up like her drunken mother.
As she neared her house I hammered on my bedroom window to get her attention. She stopped and looked up and down the road like a lazy lighthouse, unable to identify the source of the sound.
I raced downstairs and into the street. As I reached her she dropped her bags and threw her arms around me.
"Levvy! Levvy-kins. My darling, I've had the most wonderful day. You should come out with me and the girls one night. They'd love y-"
I scooped up her bags in one hand and put my arm around her shoulder to guide her to my house. As she stumbled to keep up with me she chattered on about her day, what she'd bought, and the latest Primrose Hill gossip. In any other circumstance I'd be interested, living it with her, feeling less isolated than if I'd been left to my own devices, but right now I needed her strength and support.
Several black coffees later she was sober enough to realise the enormity of my reluctance to read the letter. She sat at the kitchen table, opposite me. I pushed it towards her but she didn't pick it up. She seemed as scared of its contents as I was.
"Your dad gave you this?"
I nodded.
"Have you spoken to him since?"
"No, I went out looking for you and when I got home he was out. He hasn't come back yet." As urgent as the letter was to me, I had another pressing concern. "Listen, Beth, earlier today I thought I saw-"
"Shaun's home."
I jumped to my feet. "I have to see him."
"Sit down, Lev."
"Why?"
She sighed as if she'd gone over this with me a hundred times. "He won't see you."
"Why not?"
"Why do you think? He doesn't want a scene."
Anger pushed against the boundary of my feelings. "Why are you protecting him? You chose me, remember?"
Beth laughed humourlessly. "I'm not protecting him. I'm protecting you. He doesn't want a scene because he's a coward. I don't want a scene because I don't want to see you get hurt."
"And if I want a scene? What about that?"
"I think you've had enough scenes to last you a lifetime, haven't you? Besides, this letter," she picked it up, "could prove to be a massive disappointment."
Her brow crumpled as she saw it had already been opened. The question formed on her face before she could ask me.
"Dad has read it." My answer was shaky.
"Didn't he tell you what it said?"
Sitting down, I shook my head then motioned for her to continue.
"Why didn't you just read it yourself? I'd be desperate to find out what it said."
"Please Beth. I can't handle any more bad news."
"You're becoming such a drama queen." She pulled a sheet of paper out of the envelope and unfolded it. What looked like a photograph, dropped face-down onto the table. I could just make out the brand printed diagonally across the back.
Beth pulled her legs up so her feet perched on the edge of her chair. Her knees rested on the table. She picked up the photograph and looked at it for a long time, looked at me, and then back at the photograph. Slowly, she put it down, face-down, on the table. Her eyes roamed across the page of the letter.
I watched her face for any flicker of emotion but it remained impassive and unreadable. When she finished the letter she put it on top of the photograph and pushed it towards me.
The tension was unbearable. I placed my hand on the letter
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