you?”
“She’s only a problem because you don’t like her, and she knows it!”
Jade reared back as if I’d physically slapped her. “I’m not the one who told you we can’t be friends, Reid.”
A bitter laugh stumbled from my mouth, and the words followed before I could stop them. “I can see why blaming it all on Stella for that would be convenient for you.”
“What is that supposed to mean?”
“It means you are somewhat responsible for what happened between us. You decided we couldn’t be friends anymore, way before I started seeing Stella.”
Nothing was going as planned, but the only way we were going to work it out was to verbalize everything we kept to ourselves. She had to know, once and for all, that she’d done some irreparable damage to me too. I couldn’t keep it to myself anymore. It was starting to gnaw away at me.
“We made a mistake,” she said angrily. “But if I recall correctly you were there too, and now there’s no going back.”
“This is where I disagree,” I replied, fighting the natural inclination to shout. Jade got me riled up in every way, and fighting with her, however wrong, was always my first reaction. Knowing that she regretted us stung. “You decided for both of us we couldn’t be more. You ran scared, and now you want to blame my girlfriend because you’re jealous.”
Jade’s face remained hard, but her eyes had glazed over at some point, and the guilt pulled at me. I didn’t want it to be this way, but once I opened the door to our now screwed up friendship I couldn’t close it. It was too late, and I was afraid we were really and truly done for.
“I think you should leave now,” she said, standing quickly. I jumped up and took hold of her arm. She spun to face me, hitting me with the force of those boundless brown eyes that I’d spent all my life drowning in.
“I’m not going anywhere,” I said, pulling her closer. “Not until you’ve heard everything I have to say.”
“What more is there, Reid? You’ve moved on, and I’m trying my best to stay away because it’s what Stella wants - ”
“Moved on?” I asked incredulously. “You think I’ve moved on? I’m trying to fill the fucking hole you left with someone who will never compare. Don’t you get it?”
Jade bit her lip but I still saw the slight quiver. She was emotional, more so than usual, and I wondered if the end of our friendship had taken a bigger toll on her than I’d initially assumed. Maybe she was just as bruised on the inside as I was, trying to figure how to continue living even though we had to do it without each other.
“Then why are you with her?” Her voice was husky, and thick and unlike I’d ever heard it before. Jade had always been so strong, so willful, and she never showed weakness. But she was showing it all now, allowing me to see that she’d been suffering.
“You did this,” I whispered harshly, ignoring her question. “You made me move forward without you, and God I’m fucking trying but you’re making it impossible!” My voice had risen, and Jade whimpered when I lowered my face to hers.
“Being with Stella is better than being alone and pining for the woman who fucking destroyed me two months ago. She’s not perfect, and I don’t think I love her, but if it means I won’t hurt anymore, I’ll fucking try.”
Jade’s hot breath fanned my face as she squeezed her eyes closed. Her mouth was so close, and I was so tempted to kiss her, crush her body up against mine and never let her go - but I had to. She didn’t want me, and there was only so much a man could take.
“I miss you,” I murmured, pressing my forehead against hers and holding her forearms. “But I can’t do this, Jade. You’ve broken me baby,” I swallowed, struggling to speak calmly without cracking in front of her, “and I have to put myself back together the best way I know how. You walked away first, and I’m just doing what you want.”
Her eyes opened, and
“She’s only a problem because you don’t like her, and she knows it!”
Jade reared back as if I’d physically slapped her. “I’m not the one who told you we can’t be friends, Reid.”
A bitter laugh stumbled from my mouth, and the words followed before I could stop them. “I can see why blaming it all on Stella for that would be convenient for you.”
“What is that supposed to mean?”
“It means you are somewhat responsible for what happened between us. You decided we couldn’t be friends anymore, way before I started seeing Stella.”
Nothing was going as planned, but the only way we were going to work it out was to verbalize everything we kept to ourselves. She had to know, once and for all, that she’d done some irreparable damage to me too. I couldn’t keep it to myself anymore. It was starting to gnaw away at me.
“We made a mistake,” she said angrily. “But if I recall correctly you were there too, and now there’s no going back.”
“This is where I disagree,” I replied, fighting the natural inclination to shout. Jade got me riled up in every way, and fighting with her, however wrong, was always my first reaction. Knowing that she regretted us stung. “You decided for both of us we couldn’t be more. You ran scared, and now you want to blame my girlfriend because you’re jealous.”
Jade’s face remained hard, but her eyes had glazed over at some point, and the guilt pulled at me. I didn’t want it to be this way, but once I opened the door to our now screwed up friendship I couldn’t close it. It was too late, and I was afraid we were really and truly done for.
“I think you should leave now,” she said, standing quickly. I jumped up and took hold of her arm. She spun to face me, hitting me with the force of those boundless brown eyes that I’d spent all my life drowning in.
“I’m not going anywhere,” I said, pulling her closer. “Not until you’ve heard everything I have to say.”
“What more is there, Reid? You’ve moved on, and I’m trying my best to stay away because it’s what Stella wants - ”
“Moved on?” I asked incredulously. “You think I’ve moved on? I’m trying to fill the fucking hole you left with someone who will never compare. Don’t you get it?”
Jade bit her lip but I still saw the slight quiver. She was emotional, more so than usual, and I wondered if the end of our friendship had taken a bigger toll on her than I’d initially assumed. Maybe she was just as bruised on the inside as I was, trying to figure how to continue living even though we had to do it without each other.
“Then why are you with her?” Her voice was husky, and thick and unlike I’d ever heard it before. Jade had always been so strong, so willful, and she never showed weakness. But she was showing it all now, allowing me to see that she’d been suffering.
“You did this,” I whispered harshly, ignoring her question. “You made me move forward without you, and God I’m fucking trying but you’re making it impossible!” My voice had risen, and Jade whimpered when I lowered my face to hers.
“Being with Stella is better than being alone and pining for the woman who fucking destroyed me two months ago. She’s not perfect, and I don’t think I love her, but if it means I won’t hurt anymore, I’ll fucking try.”
Jade’s hot breath fanned my face as she squeezed her eyes closed. Her mouth was so close, and I was so tempted to kiss her, crush her body up against mine and never let her go - but I had to. She didn’t want me, and there was only so much a man could take.
“I miss you,” I murmured, pressing my forehead against hers and holding her forearms. “But I can’t do this, Jade. You’ve broken me baby,” I swallowed, struggling to speak calmly without cracking in front of her, “and I have to put myself back together the best way I know how. You walked away first, and I’m just doing what you want.”
Her eyes opened, and
Similar Books
