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clearly visible. There was no way that this was going to end up being the elusive Endor. I turned my head to the front again, as if to continue my amble, and took a few steps. Then I pivoted around, just in time to see the penguin suddenly waddling in an alarmed fashion to the side of the pavement and ungracefully falling over onto its back.
    I stalked over to it, and kicked its large soft stomach. “What’s the fucking deal? Who are you and why are you following me?”
    “Mmmmph,” it said.
    I kicked it again. The penguin rolled left and then right, in an apparent bid to try to get back up again. Its webbed orange feet flapped helplessly in the air.
    “Mmmmph,” it repeated.
    I rolled my eyes and moved over to the thing’s head, pulling it by the beak until the head came off and the face underneath was revealed. When I saw who it was, I stared down in exasperation.  
    “What the fuck are you doing, Aubrey?”  
    “Hi, Mack.” The ex-vampire grinned up at me weakly.
    I shook my head, placing my hands on my hips and watching him continue to twist around to try and get back onto his feet. Eventually I got bored of his attempts and stuck out a hand, pulling him up.
    “Thanks,” he chirped out.
    “I’ll say it again. What the fuck are you doing?”
    He appeared momentarily nonplussed. “Well, following you, of course.”
    I frowned in annoyance. “That much I worked out. Why?”
    “Because you’re big and strong and can protect me. Well, you’re not big, but you’re strong. I thought that maybe if I just stuck close to you then no-one would attack me because they’d be too worried about you. I didn’t think you’d notice me.”
    “You’re a bloody idiot,” I hissed. “You’re dressed like a giant furry cartoon character who’d be better handing out leaflets in the street. How the fuck could I not notice you?”
    A hurt look crossed his face. “It protects me from the sun.”
    “The sun’s not going to hurt you, Aubrey. Newsflash: you’re not a vampire anymore.”
    “I needed a disguise,” he whined. “They’re trying to track me down, Mack.” He clutched at my hand with his large fluffy wings. “You can’t let them take me. You can’t!” Clearly the past few days of alone time hadn’t done much to rid him of his self-induced petulance.
    I yanked my hand away. “You mean the vamps,” I said flatly.
    “Of course, the vamps! Who else?”          
    “I’ve got other things to worry about than a bunch of bloodsuckers, Aubrey. Besides, if you go to them then maybe you’ll get your heart’s desire and they’ll change you back.” I smiled at him predatorily. “That way I’ll no longer have any compunction about staking you.”
    His bottom lip stuck out. “That’s mean, Mack. If I go back to them, they’ll probably take advantage of the fact that I’m now a human and just bleed me dry. They won’t change me back, they’ll leave me as some kind of dried out husk. Or,” he shuddered, “they’ll lock me away and feed on me whenever it suits them.”
    The tone in his voice made me suspect that this was something that had happened before to some poor unsuspecting victims. Probably on his orders. My eyes narrowed. “Perhaps they’ll welcome you back with open arms. The prodigal vampire returns to the bosom of his loving family.”
    Aubrey wrapped his wings around himself. “I don’t think they’ll see it like that.”
    “Why not?” I was only vaguely curious.
    He looked slightly embarrassed. “I wasn’t always very nice.”
    I snorted. That was hardly headline material.
    “Besides,” he continued, “I thought you wanted me to be human. You know, new life, start afresh, that kind of thing.”
    “And I thought you couldn’t think of anything worse and you were desperate to get some of your old buddies to bite you and turn you back.”
    “I’m not sure they’re my buddies anymore,” he said in a small voice. He shrugged. “Maybe being human isn’t so