her bedside table. “Why did God make us love so much what we mustn’t do?”
He didn’t know.
She sighed. “Do you leave soon?”
“In a while. The police don’t really want me here.”
“They told you?”
“Yes.”
She inhaled once more, then put the cigarette out in the glass. “Did they mean it?”
“A suggestion, for the moment.”
“So you could stay, if you wanted to.”
“Maybe, yes. It would take, some work, but I probably could.”
“You can’t do what you’re doing now, Ilya.”
“I can’t?”
“No.”
He was tempted to ask her what she meant by that but he knew what she meant.
“It’s,
there,
” she said, “this terrible war. It will come for you.”
After a moment he nodded—he didn’t like it, but she wasn’t wrong.
“So,” she said.
They were silent for a time, the wind rattling the windows, the sea in the distance. “When France fell,” he said, “that day, that day I was Parisian, more than I’d ever been. We all were. Exiles or born in the 5th Arrondissement it didn’t matter. Everyone said
merde
—it was bad luck, bad weather, we would just have to learn to live with it. But we would all stay the same, so we told each other, because, if we changed, then the fascists would win. Maybe I knew better, in my heart, but I wanted to believe that that was enough: hold fast to life as it
should
be, the daily ritual, work, love, and then it
will
be.”
“That is sweet, Ilya. Charming, almost.”
He laughed. “Such a hard soul, my love.”
“Oh? Well, please to remember who we are and where we’ve been. First you say you’ll pretend to do what they want, then you do what they want, then you’re one of them. Oldest story in the world: if you don’t stand up to evil it eats you first and kills you later, but not soon enough.”
“Yes, I know.”
“So now, tomorrow, next day, you’ll find a way to fight.”
“Is that what you want?”
“No, never. I fear for you.”
He stood up and walked to the window. Tamara yawned, covered her mouth with her hand. “We weren’t meant to live long lives, Ilya.”
“I guess not.”
“I don’t care so much. And, as for you, you will die inside if you try to hide from it.”
“It?”
She gave him a look. “You’re the writer, go find a name.” She was silent for a time, he came back to her and sat on the end of the bed, she turned on her side and rested her head on her arm. “Do you know what matters, these days?”
He spread his hands.
“You did love me, Ilya. I wasn’t wrong about that, was I?”
“With all my heart.”
She smiled and closed her eyes. “Women like to hear those things. Always, I think. It always makes them happy, God only knows why.”
SYSTÈME Z
REPUBLIC OF TURKEY
MINISTRY OF THE INTERIOR
BUREAU OF STATE SECURITY
Special Investigation Service
DATE: 2 December, 1940
TO: Major H. Y. Iskandar
FROM: M. Ayaz—Unit IX
Subject: I. A. Serebin
At 10:35 on 30 November, Subject left Hotel Beyoglu and proceeded by taxi to the Beyazit district, exiting in front of the Hotel Phellos and proceeding on foot to 34 Akdeniz street, taking the stairway to the second floor where he entered the office of the Helikon Trading Company. He remained at that office until 11:25. Subject returned to the Hotel Phellos where he took a Number Six tram to the Beyoglu district and checked out of the Hotel Beyoglu. Subject proceeded by taxi to Sirkeci station, purchasing a first-class ticket to Izmir on the Taurus Express, Istanbul–Damascus. Subject boarded at 13:08, sharing a compartment with two unrelated travelers. Subject got off the train at Alsancak station, Izmir, at 23:40 and took a taxi to the Club Xalaphia, a brothel, in Hesmet street off Cumhuriyet square.
Subject remained at Club Xalaphia until 01:55, when he checked into Room 405 in the Palas Hotel. Six other clients were on the premises during the time that Subject was there:
R. Bey and H. Felim—Cotton brokers, from Alexandria
Name
He didn’t know.
She sighed. “Do you leave soon?”
“In a while. The police don’t really want me here.”
“They told you?”
“Yes.”
She inhaled once more, then put the cigarette out in the glass. “Did they mean it?”
“A suggestion, for the moment.”
“So you could stay, if you wanted to.”
“Maybe, yes. It would take, some work, but I probably could.”
“You can’t do what you’re doing now, Ilya.”
“I can’t?”
“No.”
He was tempted to ask her what she meant by that but he knew what she meant.
“It’s,
there,
” she said, “this terrible war. It will come for you.”
After a moment he nodded—he didn’t like it, but she wasn’t wrong.
“So,” she said.
They were silent for a time, the wind rattling the windows, the sea in the distance. “When France fell,” he said, “that day, that day I was Parisian, more than I’d ever been. We all were. Exiles or born in the 5th Arrondissement it didn’t matter. Everyone said
merde
—it was bad luck, bad weather, we would just have to learn to live with it. But we would all stay the same, so we told each other, because, if we changed, then the fascists would win. Maybe I knew better, in my heart, but I wanted to believe that that was enough: hold fast to life as it
should
be, the daily ritual, work, love, and then it
will
be.”
“That is sweet, Ilya. Charming, almost.”
He laughed. “Such a hard soul, my love.”
“Oh? Well, please to remember who we are and where we’ve been. First you say you’ll pretend to do what they want, then you do what they want, then you’re one of them. Oldest story in the world: if you don’t stand up to evil it eats you first and kills you later, but not soon enough.”
“Yes, I know.”
“So now, tomorrow, next day, you’ll find a way to fight.”
“Is that what you want?”
“No, never. I fear for you.”
He stood up and walked to the window. Tamara yawned, covered her mouth with her hand. “We weren’t meant to live long lives, Ilya.”
“I guess not.”
“I don’t care so much. And, as for you, you will die inside if you try to hide from it.”
“It?”
She gave him a look. “You’re the writer, go find a name.” She was silent for a time, he came back to her and sat on the end of the bed, she turned on her side and rested her head on her arm. “Do you know what matters, these days?”
He spread his hands.
“You did love me, Ilya. I wasn’t wrong about that, was I?”
“With all my heart.”
She smiled and closed her eyes. “Women like to hear those things. Always, I think. It always makes them happy, God only knows why.”
SYSTÈME Z
REPUBLIC OF TURKEY
MINISTRY OF THE INTERIOR
BUREAU OF STATE SECURITY
Special Investigation Service
DATE: 2 December, 1940
TO: Major H. Y. Iskandar
FROM: M. Ayaz—Unit IX
Subject: I. A. Serebin
At 10:35 on 30 November, Subject left Hotel Beyoglu and proceeded by taxi to the Beyazit district, exiting in front of the Hotel Phellos and proceeding on foot to 34 Akdeniz street, taking the stairway to the second floor where he entered the office of the Helikon Trading Company. He remained at that office until 11:25. Subject returned to the Hotel Phellos where he took a Number Six tram to the Beyoglu district and checked out of the Hotel Beyoglu. Subject proceeded by taxi to Sirkeci station, purchasing a first-class ticket to Izmir on the Taurus Express, Istanbul–Damascus. Subject boarded at 13:08, sharing a compartment with two unrelated travelers. Subject got off the train at Alsancak station, Izmir, at 23:40 and took a taxi to the Club Xalaphia, a brothel, in Hesmet street off Cumhuriyet square.
Subject remained at Club Xalaphia until 01:55, when he checked into Room 405 in the Palas Hotel. Six other clients were on the premises during the time that Subject was there:
R. Bey and H. Felim—Cotton brokers, from Alexandria
Name
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