maybe you should grab a seat before there are none left up front.”
Kara nodded. She really didn’t want to do this, but she couldn’t back out now. That wouldn’t be fair to Grace. She settled into one of the few chairs left in the front row, off to the right.
The session started and Grace introduced herself and the fact she was a natural healer. She mentioned several techniques she used that Kara had never heard of, like craniosacral something-or-other and NET, or Neuro Emotional Technique, which helped release emotional stress stuck in the body that stopped people from achieving goals. Kara wasn’t interested in all the details of what a naturopath did, or the energy mumbo jumbo. She doodled in her notebook while barely listening, mainly because her stomach continued to flutter in anticipation of what Grace would ask when Kara was in front of all these people.
“So how many of you have had trouble finding a satisfying relationship?” Grace asked.
Kara immediately straightened in her chair. About two-thirds of the people in the room put up their hands.
“If you want to have a sound relationship, you want to go into it with a sound goal. So often we repeat the mistakes of the past and continue to seek the same type of partner we’ve had before, even though that relationship didn’t work out. Of course, finding a good alternative healthcare provider who can help you remove whatever blocks you have against finding a happy and lasting relationship will help immensely, but there are some questions you can ask yourself.”
She glanced at Kara and smiled. “Kara, would you come up, please?”
Kara stood up and placed her notebook on her chair. She smoothed her skirt as she approached Grace. Grace pulled a chair back from the table and set it in an open area at the front of the room and gestured for Kara to sit.
“I’d like you to think back on all the romantic relationships you’ve had, then I’d like you to think about the list of qualities you’d look for in the ideal man.”
She paused for a few moments while Kara thought about the men she’d dated and the qualities that had drawn her to them.
“What qualities would your ideal man have?” Grace asked
“Okay, well . . . I want a man with intelligence . . . a sense of humor . . . and similar interests to mine.”
“Did most of the men in your past possess those qualities?”
“Yes, mostly.”
“Okay, good. Now think back on the relationship you most wish had lasted. Why do you think that one didn’t last?”
She thought back to the man she’d dated about three years ago. Perry. He’d been smart, fun to be with, and he’d made her feel special—at least for the first few months they’d dated.
“I don’t know. . . . Interest just seemed to fizzle. We didn’t seem to spend much time together anymore. He was an architect and worked long hours. And, of course, he was a guy, so he wasn’t interested in any kind of commitment.”
“Anything else?”
“He . . . could have been more affectionate. You know how some men tend to be distant.”
“So looking back at your list of qualities for your ideal man, do you have on there: puts his work ahead of you, is unwilling to show affection, and doesn’t want to be part of a committed relationship?”
“No.”
“Of course not. But it is what you’ve learned to expect. Your choice of words gives us a hint. You said since he was a guy, he wasn’t interested in commitment, and that men tend to be distant. Your beliefs about what you would find in a relationship came true.”
Grace rested her hand on Kara’s back and turned to the audience. Kara could feel heat emanating from her palm similar to what she’d felt from J.M. on the plane. Kara felt the tension fade from her body.
“One of the best things you can do to help attract the right kind of person into a relationship is to look at your beliefs and expectations about what that relationship will be.
Kara nodded. She really didn’t want to do this, but she couldn’t back out now. That wouldn’t be fair to Grace. She settled into one of the few chairs left in the front row, off to the right.
The session started and Grace introduced herself and the fact she was a natural healer. She mentioned several techniques she used that Kara had never heard of, like craniosacral something-or-other and NET, or Neuro Emotional Technique, which helped release emotional stress stuck in the body that stopped people from achieving goals. Kara wasn’t interested in all the details of what a naturopath did, or the energy mumbo jumbo. She doodled in her notebook while barely listening, mainly because her stomach continued to flutter in anticipation of what Grace would ask when Kara was in front of all these people.
“So how many of you have had trouble finding a satisfying relationship?” Grace asked.
Kara immediately straightened in her chair. About two-thirds of the people in the room put up their hands.
“If you want to have a sound relationship, you want to go into it with a sound goal. So often we repeat the mistakes of the past and continue to seek the same type of partner we’ve had before, even though that relationship didn’t work out. Of course, finding a good alternative healthcare provider who can help you remove whatever blocks you have against finding a happy and lasting relationship will help immensely, but there are some questions you can ask yourself.”
She glanced at Kara and smiled. “Kara, would you come up, please?”
Kara stood up and placed her notebook on her chair. She smoothed her skirt as she approached Grace. Grace pulled a chair back from the table and set it in an open area at the front of the room and gestured for Kara to sit.
“I’d like you to think back on all the romantic relationships you’ve had, then I’d like you to think about the list of qualities you’d look for in the ideal man.”
She paused for a few moments while Kara thought about the men she’d dated and the qualities that had drawn her to them.
“What qualities would your ideal man have?” Grace asked
“Okay, well . . . I want a man with intelligence . . . a sense of humor . . . and similar interests to mine.”
“Did most of the men in your past possess those qualities?”
“Yes, mostly.”
“Okay, good. Now think back on the relationship you most wish had lasted. Why do you think that one didn’t last?”
She thought back to the man she’d dated about three years ago. Perry. He’d been smart, fun to be with, and he’d made her feel special—at least for the first few months they’d dated.
“I don’t know. . . . Interest just seemed to fizzle. We didn’t seem to spend much time together anymore. He was an architect and worked long hours. And, of course, he was a guy, so he wasn’t interested in any kind of commitment.”
“Anything else?”
“He . . . could have been more affectionate. You know how some men tend to be distant.”
“So looking back at your list of qualities for your ideal man, do you have on there: puts his work ahead of you, is unwilling to show affection, and doesn’t want to be part of a committed relationship?”
“No.”
“Of course not. But it is what you’ve learned to expect. Your choice of words gives us a hint. You said since he was a guy, he wasn’t interested in commitment, and that men tend to be distant. Your beliefs about what you would find in a relationship came true.”
Grace rested her hand on Kara’s back and turned to the audience. Kara could feel heat emanating from her palm similar to what she’d felt from J.M. on the plane. Kara felt the tension fade from her body.
“One of the best things you can do to help attract the right kind of person into a relationship is to look at your beliefs and expectations about what that relationship will be.
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