Blanche on the Lam: A Blanche White Mystery

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Authors: Barbara Neely
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watched him bow and scrape and “Miz Grace” all around the kitchen until the object of his ass-kissing led them up the back stairs. If it's a put-on, he ought to be in the movies, Blanche thought. If it's for real, it's pitiful.
    On the way upstairs, Grace kept up a constant trickle of questions and comments about the garden and the weather and the ducks on the pond. She and Nate laughed together overlittle remarks that meant nothing to Blanche. She did notice that Grace was wringing her hands as though she were hoping to get gold out of them. The hollow laughter of a TV laugh track seeped from beneath a bedroom door that Blanche bet was Mumsfield's.
    The smell of cheap liquor and cigarettes had been replaced in Emmeline's room by the pungent fragrance of eucalyptus. A humidifier sent a jet of mist into the overheated room. Emmeline was hiked up on a mass of creamy white pillows edged with pink embroidered roses. Her blue satin bed jacket was trimmed with white lace. A matching cap covered her Little Orphan Annie Afro. Her eyes were red-rimmed but keen. She observed her visitors from over a linen handkerchief she held to her nose and mouth.
    “Why, Miz Em, it sure is good to see you!” Nate performed a kind of jerky bow as he moved beyond the foot of the bed until he was near Emmeline's side. Blanche hung back, watching from just inside the door.
    “I sure am sorry to see you feeling sss...sss...so...” Nate stuttered and stumbled through telling Emmeline how sorry he was that she was ill. Emmeline clutched her handkerchief closer to her face and seemed to shrink into her pillows. She flashed her eyes at Grace. Grace opened her mouth and reached out her hand to Nate, but whatever she intended was forestalled by a knock on the door. Everett ushered Archibald into the room.
    “Cousin Archibald.” Emmeline spoke in a high, sweet whisper that was very different from the bitchy whiskey rasp Blanche had heard earlier.
    Archibald crossed the room to the far side of the bed and set his briefcase on the table by the window. He took the hand Emmeline held out to him.
    “Cousin.” He bowed low over Emmeline's hand. His silver hair gleamed in the light from the window. “You can't know how much it means to me that you asked to see me, personally, after so long. I...”
    Emmeline lowered her handkerchief and coughed a quick succession of loud barks in Archibald's direction. He flinched and took a quick step back from the bed. “Don't try to talk, my dear.”
    Emmeline coughed again. Archibald snatched his own handkerchief from his breast pocket and brought it quickly to his mouth and nose. After a few moments, his eyes widened and crimson crept up to his forehead. He looked quickly down at Emmeline, who was once again hidden behind her handkerchief. By the time he shifted his gaze to see if Grace and Everett had noticed, he had already stuffed the offending handkerchief back in its proper place. Blanche saw laughter in Emmeline's eyes.
    Archibald opened his briefcase. The minute she saw that sheath of heavy, thick, clothlike paper, Blanche knew they were there about money. Archibald fussed with his papers while Everett fetched the rolling tray from the other side of the room. He pushed it to the bed so that it extended across Emmeline's lap.
    “I really do hate to bother you, Cousin, but you did insist that I come today.” Archibald laid the papers on the tray in front of Emmeline. “If you'll just sign here.” He used his pen as a pointer.
    Emmeline lowered her handkerchief and produced a series of loud, dry coughs. This time, Emmeline wasn't the only cougher. Blanche had to manufacture a cough of her own to cover the grin that sprang unbidden to her face when Archibald practically threw the pen on the tray and jumped away from the bed as though his life depended upon putting distance between himself and his cousin.
    Blanche was now positive Emmeline was making mischief. She tried to catch Nate's eye, to see if he'd

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