she’d had to face facts.
“C’mon,” she said, tapping the test.
She looked back up at the wall. One more minute. A tenseness had started in her belly—she found herself not so much questioning whether or not she was pregnant, but what options she would have to face in the wake of something inevitable. I suppose I could get leave , she thought. No doubt Samson would actually welcome a bit of a hiatus from her.
Her thoughts became a muddle and when she looked up again at the clock it had been another two minutes. Absently she turned over the pregnancy test.
Crap.
She didn’t have to look for the box it had come in to know the result. Yes, she was pregnant. And that meant that the father could be only one person—a one-night stand with a burly tattooed monster of a man who, for better or worse, may have been the leader of a biker gang. Lily actually laughed out loud at the ridiculousness of that statement, and at what sort of story she would have to tell Samson.
“Maybe I should just tell him the truth,” she mused, pursing her lips.
Part of her felt a sadistic pleasure, wondering at the expression that would pass the old editor’s face. Then, on the other hand, maybe he wouldn’t be surprised at all. She sighed and leaned onto her back again. The fan above her was lost in a circular thought and she closed her eyes, feeling dizzy as she watched it.
“What the hell am I supposed to do?”
She couldn’t get rid of it—sure, abortions were an option, and even though she knew the origin of the child was something questionable, part of her had already gotten used to the idea of the fetus growing inside her. She had never had any proclivities or sensibilities about becoming a mother, certainly. But to actually be faced with that possibility, she felt herself sliding into a one-eighty.
Nausea welled in her stomach. Not so much out of dread, although that was a part of it, but out of a latent sort of excitement she hadn’t anticipated. I’m going to be a mother , she mused. I’m going to be a mother.
It didn’t take long for Lily’s keen and organized mind to return to reality, and when it did, two things occurred to her: first, she would have to figure out a way to broach the subject with Samson. Second, and this was perhaps where the dread was centered, she felt obligated to at least tell Blake about it—especially if she was intending to keep it.
How would he react?
Lily gulped, suddenly filled with panic. He was a brute, surely he had no interest in fathering a child, and that was fine by her. But how would he respond to that sort of knowledge? She couldn’t ever see him hurting her, even if he had his own reputation among other gangs—no, he would never harm her physically. But she wondered at the sort of emotional damage he could inflict on her, if she let herself be too open. She bit her lip until it bled and sat up straight. I won’t let it come to that . She didn’t really have to tell him at all—it was simply her own interest in being honest. There was nothing he could do to her now.
“Okay,” she breathed out, and stood up.
Outside, the sun was shining and a few mergansers flew past her window, heading for the river bank. It was Saturday and she had the day off. She had planned to simply sleep in, maybe do a bit of cleaning and watch movies, but the news of her pregnancy, however surreal, prompted her to decide to make another trip to Beaver Creek. Her heart was still in her stomach as she redressed in a casual outfit and headed out the door.
In the car, she took off, heading straight for the hills. It wasn’t until she’d reached the town limits again, and the road became curvy, wandering through deciduous tree lines and with the vista of the town behind her laid out across the flood plains, that she let out another nervous laugh. She was heading into Beaver Creek, a veritable ghost town, to look for the leader of a known biker gang with known criminal affiliations, all in order
“C’mon,” she said, tapping the test.
She looked back up at the wall. One more minute. A tenseness had started in her belly—she found herself not so much questioning whether or not she was pregnant, but what options she would have to face in the wake of something inevitable. I suppose I could get leave , she thought. No doubt Samson would actually welcome a bit of a hiatus from her.
Her thoughts became a muddle and when she looked up again at the clock it had been another two minutes. Absently she turned over the pregnancy test.
Crap.
She didn’t have to look for the box it had come in to know the result. Yes, she was pregnant. And that meant that the father could be only one person—a one-night stand with a burly tattooed monster of a man who, for better or worse, may have been the leader of a biker gang. Lily actually laughed out loud at the ridiculousness of that statement, and at what sort of story she would have to tell Samson.
“Maybe I should just tell him the truth,” she mused, pursing her lips.
Part of her felt a sadistic pleasure, wondering at the expression that would pass the old editor’s face. Then, on the other hand, maybe he wouldn’t be surprised at all. She sighed and leaned onto her back again. The fan above her was lost in a circular thought and she closed her eyes, feeling dizzy as she watched it.
“What the hell am I supposed to do?”
She couldn’t get rid of it—sure, abortions were an option, and even though she knew the origin of the child was something questionable, part of her had already gotten used to the idea of the fetus growing inside her. She had never had any proclivities or sensibilities about becoming a mother, certainly. But to actually be faced with that possibility, she felt herself sliding into a one-eighty.
Nausea welled in her stomach. Not so much out of dread, although that was a part of it, but out of a latent sort of excitement she hadn’t anticipated. I’m going to be a mother , she mused. I’m going to be a mother.
It didn’t take long for Lily’s keen and organized mind to return to reality, and when it did, two things occurred to her: first, she would have to figure out a way to broach the subject with Samson. Second, and this was perhaps where the dread was centered, she felt obligated to at least tell Blake about it—especially if she was intending to keep it.
How would he react?
Lily gulped, suddenly filled with panic. He was a brute, surely he had no interest in fathering a child, and that was fine by her. But how would he respond to that sort of knowledge? She couldn’t ever see him hurting her, even if he had his own reputation among other gangs—no, he would never harm her physically. But she wondered at the sort of emotional damage he could inflict on her, if she let herself be too open. She bit her lip until it bled and sat up straight. I won’t let it come to that . She didn’t really have to tell him at all—it was simply her own interest in being honest. There was nothing he could do to her now.
“Okay,” she breathed out, and stood up.
Outside, the sun was shining and a few mergansers flew past her window, heading for the river bank. It was Saturday and she had the day off. She had planned to simply sleep in, maybe do a bit of cleaning and watch movies, but the news of her pregnancy, however surreal, prompted her to decide to make another trip to Beaver Creek. Her heart was still in her stomach as she redressed in a casual outfit and headed out the door.
In the car, she took off, heading straight for the hills. It wasn’t until she’d reached the town limits again, and the road became curvy, wandering through deciduous tree lines and with the vista of the town behind her laid out across the flood plains, that she let out another nervous laugh. She was heading into Beaver Creek, a veritable ghost town, to look for the leader of a known biker gang with known criminal affiliations, all in order
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