Read Online Billy Jeffers: Rockers of Steel by Mj Fields - Free Book Online

mean, what were you thinking?”
    “I clearly wasn’t. I apologize.”
    I push the button to start the car. “I mean, for as little as you think of me, that was kind of risky, you know. I mean, I could have an STD.”
    His eyes narrow a bit as he looks at me, really looks at me, and for once in my life, I have to look away first.
    “I’m pretty sure, as hard as you come on, you’re not out, having unprotected sex with just anyone. As a matter of fact, I can almost bet you haven’t been with anyone in a very long time.”
    The moment is now lost. Asshat!
    “ Pft , that’s pretty presumptuous.”
    “No, not really. I never pegged you as someone who slept around, just a tease.”
    “Well …” I leave it hanging as I pull out, feeling unbelievably uncomfortable with this conversation.
    “And why were you not concerned about STIs?” He uses the proper terminology. Of course he does. “Madison?”
    I shrug. I don’t want to admit I was lost in the moment or that I didn’t purposely shove condoms in his bags or backpack whenever I had the chance.
    “Are you extremely promiscuous?” I ask.
    “I wouldn’t say extremely .”
    Elusive much? I think to myself.
    “How many people have you been with?”
    You could hear a pin drop inside the vehicle. I glance over, and he looks shocked and pissed.
    “You had your dick inside me this morning. You came—”
    “Christ, Madison, can we talk about something else?” He squirms in his seat, no doubt uncomfortable with the conversation. “How many people have you been with?”
    “Three,” I answer honestly.
    “ Three ?”
    I hold up three fingers. “Three.”
    “Four now,” he says, raising an eyebrow.
    “I can’t tell if that’s a question or—”
    “Well, since this morning—”
    I hold three fingers up again. “Three, including last night and this morning.”
    “Why are we talking about this?” he grumbles, looking away and shifting himself so he isn’t looking at me.
    “Well, I asked you how many people you have been with, and you—”
    “More than three. I’m gonna rest now.”
    “Whore.” I chuckle to myself.
    “No, Madison, I was dragged into this business, and apparently—”
    I laugh loudly, cutting him off. “So, you’re telling me, what? It’s part of the job? Your dick just falls into random groupies, or—”
    “It’s not something I’m proud of.” He turns around and glares at me. “I may not have a number for you, but I can say I have been in three long-term relationships, and until this...rock band crap, I had a damn number.”
    “Oh, my God, you don’t even know do you?” I can’t help finding humor in it, even if he doesn’t.
    “Is that so shocking? Clearly, it doesn’t mean anything to me. But I don’t go seeking it. I certainly don’t traipse around, teasing in hopes that someone will.” He stops and closes his eyes. “That was rude.”
    “No, you’re right,” I admit.
    He leans closer. “I wasn’t—”
    “Billy?” I look at him and raise my eyebrow.
    “I know, shut up.” He pouts and sits back in his seat.
    Nothing more is said, and he eventually falls asleep.
    As I drive, I reflect on my past relationship choices, my past year, and what a mess I must appear like to everyone around me—hell, what a mess I really am.
    I look at the road ahead of me and decide that maybe, just maybe, in the future, someone will see me clearly enough to clue me in on who exactly I am. That is the easy way out, though. Nothing for me has ever been easy, so I guess I’m going to have to figure it out for myself.
    Self-doubt hangs over me like a black cloud over a Fourth of July picnic.
    I force myself to remember the conversation I had while convincing my mother to go to Europe. After hours of talking about it, I finally looked at her and said, “You are worth it.” A week later, she was gone.
    Black cloud be damned. Last name be dammed. Past and present be damned. I, Madison Black, am worth it, too.

I wake up to no