Read Online Complete Poems and Plays by T. S. Eliot - Free Book Online

ling
            Ting a ling ling
    DUSTY :                                     That’s Pereira
    DORIS : Yes that’s Pereira
    DUSTY :                                     Well what you going to do?
    TELEPHONE : Ting a ling ling
            Ting a ling ling
    DUSTY :                                     That’s Pereira
    DORIS : Well can’t you stop that horrible noise?
    Pick up the receiver
    DUSTY :                                     What’ll I say?
    DORIS : Say what you like: say I’m ill,
    Say I broke my leg on the stairs
    Say we’ve had a fire
    DUSTY :                                     Hello Hello are you there?
    Yes this is Miss Dorrance’s flat —
    Oh Mr. Pereira is that you? how do you do!
    Oh I’m so sorry. I am so sorry
    But Doris came home with a terrible chill
    No, just a chill
    Oh I think it’s only a chill
    Yes indeed I hope so too —
    Well I hope we shan’t have to call a doctor
    Doris just hates having a doctor
    She says will you ring up on Monday
    She hopes to be all right on Monday
    I say do you mind if I ring off now
    She’s got her feet in mustard and water
    I said I’m giving her mustard and water
    All right, Monday you’ll phone through.
    Yes I’ll tell her. Good bye. Goooood bye.
    I’m sure, that’s very kind of you.
                                                   Ah-h-h
    DORIS : Now I’m going to cut the cards for to-night.
    Oh guess what the first is
    D USTY :                                     First is. What is?
    DORIS : The King of Clubs
    DUSTY :                                     That’s Pereira
    DORIS : It might be Sweeney
    DUSTY :                                     It’s Pereira
    DORIS : It might just as well be Sweeney
    DUSTY : Well anyway it’s very queer.
    DORIS : Here’s the four of diamonds, what’s that mean?
    DUSTY : (reading) ‘A small sum of money, or a present
    Of wearing apparel, or a party’.
    That’s queer too.
    DORIS : Here’s the three. What’s that mean?
    DUSTY : ‘News of an absent friend’. — Pereira!
    DORIS : The Queen of Hearts! — Mrs. Porter!
    DUSTY : Or it might be you
    DORIS :                                     Or it might be you
    We’re all hearts. You can’t be sure.
    It just depends on what comes next.
    You’ve got to think when you read the cards,
    It’s not a thing that anyone can do.
    DUSTY : Yes I know you’ve a touch with the cards
    What comes next?
    DORIS :                                     What comes next. It’s the six.
    DUSTY : ‘A quarrel. An estrangement. Separation of friends’.
    DORIS : Here’s the two of spades.
    DUSTY :                                     The two of spades !
            T HAT’S THE C OFFIN !!
    DORIS :                                     T HAT’S THE C OFFIN ?
    Oh good heavens what’ll I do?
    Just before a party too!
    DUSTY : Well it needn’t be yours, it may mean a friend.
    DORIS : No it’s mine. I’m sure it’s mine.
    I dreamt of weddings all last night.
    Yes it’s mine. I know it’s mine.
    Oh good heavens what’ll I do.
    Well I’m not going to draw any more,
    You cut for luck. You cut for luck.
    It might break the spell. You cut for luck.
    DUSTY : The Knave of Spades.
    DORIS :                                     That’ll be Snow
    D USTY : Or it might be Swarts
    DORIS :                                     Or it might be Snow
    DUSTY : It’s a funny thing how I draw court cards —
    DORIS : There’s a lot in the way you pick them up
    DUSTY :