Read Online Bill 5 - on the Planet of Zombie Vampires by Harry Harrison - Free Book Online

prediction, and a pilot with a heavy and equally clumsy hand.
    The Bounty hit the atmosphere with an earsplitting creak and an ominous groan. Every joint and rivet in the old bucket seemed to be under maximum stress. Bill hung on for dear life.
    “More pitch!” yelled Larry. “Moe! We need more pitch!”
    “No, it's yaw we need!” cried Moe. “Yaw!”
    “I'm the one pushing the buttons!” roared Curly. “Don't confuse me! I'm having enough problems with the vector analysis.”
    “Don't confuse him!” echoed Bill from the bottom of his heart.
    The ship was in a steep dive, twisting first one way and then another, whipping around like a leaf in a tornado.
    “Roll!” shrieked Larry. “Give us some roll!”
    “How can you think of food at a time like this?” called Tootsie. “I'm through fetching for you anyway. Get your own roll!”
    “Forget the roll maneuver,” bellowed Moe. “Give us a hit on the main engines!”
    “We are encountering severe turbulence,” called Caine. “I would advise a two-point-one-second burn on the starboard thrusters to stabilize the ship.”
    “Is starboard left or right?” wailed Curly.
    “Left!” hollered Larry.
    “Right!” cried Moe.
    “What was that?” screamed Tootsie.
    “I think we lost a shield!” Larry screamed. “The right one!”
    “Left!” cried Moe. “Maybe starboard's left. Could be right, though. Which way's up?”
    “We're going down!” quavered Bill. “Somebody turn on the exterior lights!”
    Even with the lights on, nothing was visible through the viewscreen but whirling sand. Outside the ship the storm thundered and roared, sending borborismic echoes and vibrations through the hull
    “This is getting a little rough,” called Rambette through the intercom from the okra room. “How about hitting the smooth switch?”
    “Look!” called Tootsie. “There it is! I can see the landing pad.”
    “Piece of cake,” said Curly, punching buttons like crazy and causing the Bounty to slip and slide sideways in a stomach-wrenching loop. “We got it made in the shade.”
    “We're gonna crash!” wailed Larry.
    “Three hundred meters,” called Moe. “Two hundred. Get ready! Hold on!”
    “Who put the landing gear down?” barked Curly.
    “That was your job!” moaned Larry.
    “No, you were supposed to do it!” wailed Moe. “Do I have to do everything?”
    “I got it,” said Bill, pressing a button clearly marked ACTIVATE LANDING GEAR.
    They hit with a crunch and a bang and a bell-ringer of a smashing jolt. Immediately, alarms started screaming and clanging. Flashing red lights filled the room with eye-destroying stroboscopic glare. Every WARNING and FAILURE light on the control boards glowed malevolently.
    “I knew it!” yelled Tootsie. “We're done for! We traded slavery, tedium, endless heartburn, and monotony for certain death and total destruction.”
    “Bad trade,” admitted Caine, unfastening his seat belt.
    Suddenly the alarms all cut off at once. In the echoing silence that followed Bill climbed shakily to his feet and looked cow-eyed at Curly with newfound admiration and a sense of wonder.
    “How did you fix all that stuff that went wrong?” he asked.
    “I didn't,” said Curly. “I just turned off the alarms. I hate all that noise.”
    “Look out there!” cried Tootsie, pointing at the viewscreen. “A giant snake is attacking the ship!”
    A huge tubular object was winding its way to the Bounty, weaving and crawling on its belly like a reptile. When it got close to the vessel, it raised its front end up and struck the ship with a resounding dunk.
    “We've been struck,” chattered Bill.
    “We've been docked!” called Larry.
    “Tell me there's a cure for docked,” moaned Tootsie. “I can't take much more of this.”
    “It is nothing to worry about,” Caine pontificated. “That is simply an automatic docking tube connecting our ship with the communication station. We will now be able to pass back and forth