occurred in a hammock strung across a corner of her attic sanctuary. This half of the attic was furthest from the nuns’ foundry and thus the quietest part of the Hall. I would lay on the bed watching her drift offworld, floating until the stars disappeared. One evening I gave her a spiral slave-bracelet which the nuns had hammered and engraved for me:
If the sun which lights your eyes
Were thirty-seven times its size
Then you, and I, and all the world
Would start to twitch and fry.
‘Laughing boy,’ she said, twisting it onto her arm like a screw-thread. ‘Underneath that curt exterior is a bony latticework brimming with gore.’
She was the first to have said it, and my heart opened like a century flower. I wanted to do more. Adrienne had described her lucid bookshop to me and one night while asleep I found myself there. The proprietor was exactly as she had described him - a moron. I scanned the spine-titles, none of which named an author: Western Edible Elephants, Don’t Prophesy in the Corner, Exhaustion and the Breast, My Pet Git . The last one seemed to be about some charmer who goes around blowing his nose on other people’s shoulders, then says ‘You know what this represents? Migration.’
I found a copy of the book from which Adrienne cribbed. It was called He murdered because he’s a murderer because he murdered because he’s a murderer because he murdered because he’s a murderer because he murdered...
Rather than memorise anything I scribbled on the title page, ‘We are all god’s children, whether he likes it or not.’ I’ve since learned that schoolkids often pass secret notes to eachother in class, so maybe I wasn’t so unusual after all.
Meanwhile our experiments continued. My sinuses drained spontaneously when I considered the options available. I daresay we were more noisy than efficient - one night we were surprised in the act and froze like burglars in an arc light. Almost everyone stood in the doorway.
‘Bare-faced lust,’ Snapper gasped, pop-eyed.
Adrienne grabbed at her trousers, pulling them on. The sanctuary was so thoroughly hexed that nobody could pass the threshold but this didn’t keep out the yelling. ‘Your depravity confuses the senses and boggles the mind!’ yelled the Verger.
‘Hang about,’ I blurted. ‘I mean don’t vault to conclusions – it’s clear you believe we’ve no other motive than the spinal joys of effrontery.’
‘The sheer, staggering verve of the boy! Gormless and bewildered at the failure of his translucent fibs!’
‘The sulphurous swamp of his lust.’
‘In for a penny.’
‘Did you hear that? I’m bowled over by this I must say.’
‘Bedclothes puffing like a grounded parachute.’
‘The girl’s using him to practise on.’
‘I knew it since you were three,’ said Snapper. ‘Whipping dolls with a jump lead. And you, Adrienne - why can’t you snog horses like a normal girl?’
‘For fear of catching your germs,’ said Adrienne, her voice devoid of all emphasis.
Snapper made to storm into the room and found himself on the landing going the other way.
‘I assure you,’ said Adrienne, tucking in her T-shirt. ‘We’ll laugh about this later - with the appropriate medication.’ She crossed the room with her lithe, swinging stride, and slammed the door on them.
‘Well,’ I muttered at the window, gazing up at the murky sky, ‘said.’
The inquisition followed breakfast. We had seasoned the meal with a sparky fatalism, meeting eachother’s glances with a solemn and flirtatious remorse. When the family surrounded us our hearts were less than usually disarmed by the powerful emotions which the Hall’s erstwhile fare bestirred.
‘Born with an iron spoon in your gob, both of you,’ said Father reluctantly, Snapper standing sternly by. ‘And you select this as the fine way.’
‘We’d do the same again,’ said I.
‘But quieter,’ said Adrienne.
‘So that’s the song is it?’ shouted
If the sun which lights your eyes
Were thirty-seven times its size
Then you, and I, and all the world
Would start to twitch and fry.
‘Laughing boy,’ she said, twisting it onto her arm like a screw-thread. ‘Underneath that curt exterior is a bony latticework brimming with gore.’
She was the first to have said it, and my heart opened like a century flower. I wanted to do more. Adrienne had described her lucid bookshop to me and one night while asleep I found myself there. The proprietor was exactly as she had described him - a moron. I scanned the spine-titles, none of which named an author: Western Edible Elephants, Don’t Prophesy in the Corner, Exhaustion and the Breast, My Pet Git . The last one seemed to be about some charmer who goes around blowing his nose on other people’s shoulders, then says ‘You know what this represents? Migration.’
I found a copy of the book from which Adrienne cribbed. It was called He murdered because he’s a murderer because he murdered because he’s a murderer because he murdered because he’s a murderer because he murdered...
Rather than memorise anything I scribbled on the title page, ‘We are all god’s children, whether he likes it or not.’ I’ve since learned that schoolkids often pass secret notes to eachother in class, so maybe I wasn’t so unusual after all.
Meanwhile our experiments continued. My sinuses drained spontaneously when I considered the options available. I daresay we were more noisy than efficient - one night we were surprised in the act and froze like burglars in an arc light. Almost everyone stood in the doorway.
‘Bare-faced lust,’ Snapper gasped, pop-eyed.
Adrienne grabbed at her trousers, pulling them on. The sanctuary was so thoroughly hexed that nobody could pass the threshold but this didn’t keep out the yelling. ‘Your depravity confuses the senses and boggles the mind!’ yelled the Verger.
‘Hang about,’ I blurted. ‘I mean don’t vault to conclusions – it’s clear you believe we’ve no other motive than the spinal joys of effrontery.’
‘The sheer, staggering verve of the boy! Gormless and bewildered at the failure of his translucent fibs!’
‘The sulphurous swamp of his lust.’
‘In for a penny.’
‘Did you hear that? I’m bowled over by this I must say.’
‘Bedclothes puffing like a grounded parachute.’
‘The girl’s using him to practise on.’
‘I knew it since you were three,’ said Snapper. ‘Whipping dolls with a jump lead. And you, Adrienne - why can’t you snog horses like a normal girl?’
‘For fear of catching your germs,’ said Adrienne, her voice devoid of all emphasis.
Snapper made to storm into the room and found himself on the landing going the other way.
‘I assure you,’ said Adrienne, tucking in her T-shirt. ‘We’ll laugh about this later - with the appropriate medication.’ She crossed the room with her lithe, swinging stride, and slammed the door on them.
‘Well,’ I muttered at the window, gazing up at the murky sky, ‘said.’
The inquisition followed breakfast. We had seasoned the meal with a sparky fatalism, meeting eachother’s glances with a solemn and flirtatious remorse. When the family surrounded us our hearts were less than usually disarmed by the powerful emotions which the Hall’s erstwhile fare bestirred.
‘Born with an iron spoon in your gob, both of you,’ said Father reluctantly, Snapper standing sternly by. ‘And you select this as the fine way.’
‘We’d do the same again,’ said I.
‘But quieter,’ said Adrienne.
‘So that’s the song is it?’ shouted
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