this.â
I shake my head. âNah. Itâs just not that hard to make you look fabulous.â
âSo.â She catches her lip between her teeth.
âSo.â I know itâs none of my business but I ask anyway. âDo you think youâll say yes? You know, move in with him?â
Her eyes meet mine in the mirror. âI think I might.â
I feel like giving her a hug, but sheâs not the huggy type. I touch her shoulder lightly, just for a second. âYouâre brave, Aaliyah.â
She nods. âWhat about you? What are you going to do about that boyfriend of yours?â
I feel a weight settle inside me. âIt might be too late,â I say slowly. âIt might be too late to change my mind.â
She nods. âMmm. And it might not.â
Chapter Fifteen
Back at Gabiâs, I stare at myself in the bathroom mirror. I splash cold water on my face, shave carefully, brush my teeth. I comb my hair and wish Iâd had it cut more recently.
There is a soft knock on the door. âYouâre taking forever,â Gabi hisses impatiently. âCome on.â
I give my reflection one last look.
Okay
, I tell myself.
This is it. This is me. This is as good as it gets
. Then I follow Gabi down the hallway to her bedroom.
âStand by the door,â Gabi says.
I lean against the wall and try to look relaxed while Gabi adjusts the settings on her digital camera.
âMaybe I should check my e-mail first,â I say. âWhat if he got my e-mail and hates me? What if thereâs a message from him saying he never wants to hear from me again?â
Gabi shrugs. âWhat if there is? Would you just leave it at that?â
I shake my head slowly. âIâd still owe him the truth.â
âWell then.â She lines up the camera. âSmile.â
I do my best to stretch my mouth in an imitation of a smile and she clicks. The flash makes me blink.
Gabi looks at the picture. âWell, itâs not your best picture ever.â
I look at it anxiously. My eyes are half closed and the flash makes me look like a ghost.
âMaybe we should wait until the morning,â Gabi says. âFlash pictures always look bad.â
âJust take another,â I say. âIâm not waiting until morning.â
Gabi grins at me and lifts the camera again. âOkay. Try not to look like youâre in front of a firing squad.â
I lean back against the wall again. Tomorrow Iâll quit the job. Then Iâll go to visit Aaliyah, I think. Just as a friend, to find out how her dinner went. And I have to tell her about this. For some reason, the thought makes me smile.
The flash goes off.
âGot it!â Gabi says. She is studying the picture. âThis looks more like you, Derek. See?â
I look at my own face in miniature on the tiny screen. âItâll do.â
Gabi sits down at her computer, plugs in her camera and downloads the picture.
âOkay,â she says, getting up again. âAll set.â She pats the chair, inviting me to sit down.
I sit.
âYou nervous?â
âA bit. About saying it right, you know?Explaining it all so that he might understand why I did it.â
âNot about how heâs going to respond?â
I think about it. âI canât do anything about that part.â
âYeah.â She puts her hand on my shoulder. âBut heâd better not be a jerk about it. Thatâd really piss me off.â
I turn my head and look at her. âIâll be okay, you know. Really. Whatever happens.â And itâs funny, but as soon as I say it, I know itâs true.
âYeah. You will.â She nods, her expression both surprised and thoughtful.
I turn back to the computer and rest my hands on the keyboard.
Gabi is still standing behind me, watching over my shoulder.
âUmm, Gabi?â
âYeah?â
âDo you think I could...you know, get a little
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