Read Online Beyond Deserving by Sandra Scofield - Free Book Online Page B

Fisher traits really are, how they worm their way into the soundest beam. Besides, Ursula knows Katie has never envied her Michael. If Fish is the darker brother, Katie has no taste for the light. Through all the years, Katie has grown taut, a little brittle; there are pocks in her existence about which she volunteers no feelings (a true Fisher, if only by marriage), and she invites no questions. She has always seemed, at even the worst moments, the right match for Fish. And no one can deny the depth of her loyalty. Didn’t it cost her a child?

14
    â€œKatie, it’s me,” Ursula says. “I was surprised to hear from you so early.”
    â€œSorry. I know morning isn’t your best time. But Ursula, I’ve got myself in a mess—”
    â€œWhat’s wrong?”
    â€œFish. But you knew that.”
    â€œFish,” Ursula repeats. She would like to ask Katie if other things ever fail her. If everything does.
    â€œI’m going through with it. For the first time in my adult life I feel like I’m getting it together. I don’t think I can do it with Fish. I can’t drag the weight any longer.”
    â€œI haven’t got much time, Katie. Could you call me tonight?” Ursula knows it is terrible to pull away, knows she ought to respond to the message in Katie’s plaint, but she doesn’t want to hear it. And she is pressed for time.
    â€œNo, listen. It’s important. My lawyer has been pushing me. She says if I don’t let them serve Fish the papers, she is washing her hands of me and I can kiss the four hundred I’ve paid her goodbye. She says it has to happen. Shit, Ursula, she thinks she’s my fucking shrink. My mommy.”
    â€œI didn’t realize it was that far along.”
    â€œOh Ursula, I told you. You know I did.”
    â€œOkay.”
    â€œOnly not today! I told them today was okay, I just wanted to get it over with, and I told them he’s over there, and to get there early, before he goes off, but I forgot about Saturday.”
    â€œOh God.” The anniversary party in the River Cove Grange. Fish will be a terrific guest. His parents celebrate fifty years of contract, and he greets the end of his own. What was it, Ursula wonders fleetingly, that he and Katie agreed to do?
    â€œHe’ll go crazy. It could wreck things. What was I thinking? I’ve got these little papers all over the place. Reminders. Get the starter looked at. Get the strap fixed on my sandal. Take Geneva to shop for napkins. Napkins. Ursula, could you get them? I don’t want to drive. My car is acting up. And it’s like only half my brain is in gear. Sometimes I wish Fish had—”
    â€œWhat do I say? Katie? When they come?”
    â€œTell them to come back Monday. Say he’s gone for the rest of the week. Monday is soon enough! Ursula. I still love him. That’s not what this is about.”
    â€œI’ll get the napkins. I don’t see why Geneva has to go at all. What about you? Are you going to be okay?”
    Katie groaned. “I don’t know. I won’t know till it’s over.”
    Ursula goes upstairs to dress. A strange sound is coming from the bathroom. Not quite a groan. Something more petulant.
    â€œJuliette, is that you?” Ursula taps at the door. When there is no answer, Ursula opens the door and sticks her head in. Juliette is standing in front of the mirror with her arms crossed over her breasts, her hands drooping off her shoulders. Seeing her mother in the mirror, she whirls and glares.
    â€œI hate them!”
    â€œWhat, baby? What is it?”
    Juliette throws her arms out dramatically, baring the expanse of her white throat and the pink leotard she is wearing. She is a lovely girl. “They’re getting BIGGER!” she says, horror in her voice.
    It takes a moment for Ursula to realize that Juliette is speaking of her breasts. She has never progressed much beyond a pubescent