Read Online Bent But Not Broken by Elizabeth Margaret - Free Book Online Page A

again in our individual sessions. Though she is keeping what she discusses to the "safe" times of her early life. She describes a wonderful childhood, full of adventure and fun. Her single mother trusted Abigail to look after her little sister Crystal until she got home after work. This was a responsibility that Abigail took seriously. She clearly is devoted to her sister. She also speaks very positively about her mother during this period of her life.
    Abigail continues to avoid talking about the experiences that have culminated in her suicide attempt on her sixteenth birthday. I will have to remain patient, and continue to let Abigail believe that she is in control of our sessions.
    Eventually she has to run out of stories and will have to move forward to the more dangerous territory of when it all started to go so wrong for her. For the time being I am content to let her keep speaking of these early times.
    Dr. Harry Nightingale
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    Dear Crystal,
    I spoke up in group today. Except for talking about the kitten (which still hasn't happened yet) I haven't said a word. When Doctor Hobbit swept over me with his eyes, I put my hand up. Don't know why I did that. To give myself time, I suppose.
    You know I'm a bit of a bit of a shit stirrer. I take things too far. I just have to test the boundaries. You'd think I would have learnt my lesson, being in here and all. But no. I have always seen myself as a strong chick who sticks up for weaker ones.
    So off I went.
    'You should stop the bloody awful piped music in the ward. It might seem okay to old people, but it's driving us mad!'
    Doctor Hobbit couldn't get the surprised look off his face. It was the first time I had said anything in the group sessions.
    I followed up with, 'We all enjoy the music sessions because it's fun making noise, even if it's not very musical. You should let us have some instruments to muck about with. Especially for Jenny, who really can play music,' I said.
    There was a lot of support for this. I know because I could hear the other girls agreeing with me. Even the mousy ones. Doctor Hobbit locked eyes with me. I didn't flinch. We had a full-on staring match. Then he looked down and started writing notes, like he always does. I think he was using that to give himself time to work out an answer. We all waited. It was deathly silent. When he looked up, he asked if we all felt the same about the music. There was a general ruckus of assent.
    'Okay, if that is what you all agree,' he said. I could tell it cost him a lot. Like it was a little bit of control that he was being forced to give up.
    'Have you really thought through what the lounge would be like if someone was banging or pinging all day?' he asked the group.
    There was a general shifting around in chairs – a sure sign that the girls were getting uneasy. I must admit, I hadn't thought of it like that. So I went to a fallback position.
    'What if we get our families to bring in some music that we like?' I asked.
    'What you like, Abigail, may not be what everyone else likes,' he replied.
    'So maybe we could make up a play list? Then everyone would get a bit of what they like,' I said.
    He seemed to think about this for a minute. It was like he was at some sort of crossroad, and wasn't sure which way to go. Finally, after what seemed like hours of everyone holding their breath, he asked the group what they thought of this idea. The response was totally clear. All the girls showed, in their own ways, that they agreed. Doctor Hobbit said what he always says: 'I will think about what you have asked.'
    Later I realised that, in a funny sort of way, I had broken down. I had spoken in the group. But I had led the group, and forced a change. The really weird thing for me was that I didn't feel that I was locking horns with Doctor Hobbit. He hadn't done the stuff teachers do to an uppity kid. He listened to what I had to say, and seemed to consider it. I can't figure him out. Let's wait and see.