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detached manner of the changes that would come tonight. How Mal would change. Wondered if it would hurt him.
It crashed in, what was going to happen tonight. He panicked, tried to throw up a mental roadblock against his thoughts. He didn't know what to do, was afraid nothing he did made a difference. He'd been in dangerous situations before, but nothing this insane and implacable.
Hell, nobody he knew would have believed it if he told them. He wouldn't have, either, if he hadn't seen with his own eyes how Mal was healing. It was impossible and he knew it.
He'd always taken care of himself, sometimes doing a less than stellar job, but if there was one thing Zach was good at it was learning on the fly. Had to. There was no one else. But he still didn't think he had a prayer of getting through the night alive.
He couldn't afford to think like that, but for just a moment he couldn't control it, his brain chattering dead man, you're a dead man.
Somehow the terror had him moving, rising up beside Mal on his knees, careful not to pull the chain between them taut but still moving fast, decision made. If he couldn't fix what was going to happen then he'd take the time he had left, because it had to matter. This crazy thing between Mal and himself mattered. It was all he had.
Chapter 8
Z ACH PUSHED HIS forehead against Mal's, nudging him.
Mal turned his head. "What?" He whispered, his voice hoarse. He licked his lips.
Zach brought a hand up to Mal's face and rubbed over his cheekbone. "You're thinking about something. What is it?"
"Something's coming, Zach. It's not—it's not here now, not in the daylight, but it hasn't left. It's digging around in my brain."
Zach leaned closer and kissed him, slow and gentle. Mal's lips moved against his, kissing him back just as deeply.
Mal pulled back a little, just far enough to speak, his eyes sad. "Why are you doing this? I know you think I'm going to hurt you. Aren't you afraid?"
"Not of you."
"What then?"
"It's not here now, that thing. You said so, right?" Zach leaned closer. "Just you and me now." He took a deep breath, telling himself again that it mattered. "I've spent a lot of time wanting people to want me because they liked me, not just because they wanted to fuck me."
"But I want to fuck you," Mal said, solemn as a confession. "Never doubt it."
Zach grinned. "I know." He put his hand in Mal's hair at the back of his head, threaded fingers through it at the scalp and pulled back. "But you like me, too." Mal's head tilted, long throat exposed, warm-tinted skin, darkness pooling in the vulnerable skin between the collar bones. Zach touched it with his tongue, felt the coolness of the cellar on the surface, pressed firmly and felt the heat inside coming through. Licked, tasting salt.
"I do kinda like you." Mal's voice caught as Zach's mouthed up the column of his throat.
Zach felt the words beneath his lips, felt Mal's breathing deepen, chest moving against his. His tongue traced Mal's jawbone, tiny pin-pricks of Mal's stubble, pressed his tongue in and felt the small sting grow, then bit down. Mal groaned, the rumble of it vibrating against Zach's mouth. He pulled Zach to him and kissed him, light touch of tongue on his upper lip, his lower, then inside as Zach opened for him. Zach tried to pull him in, opened his mouth wider, but Mal drew back.
"Tease," Zach grumbled.
"Nobody really makes you feel, do they? I want to, if I can. Want to watch it on your face." Mal's face was wide open, flushed, eyes dark and earnest.
It opened something in Zach, made him respond without thinking. He pulled Mal close and kissed him harder. The idiot didn't realize he'd made him feel from almost the first minute he saw him. He'd disarmed him without even trying.
Zach made an impatient noise and quit thinking, pressing in until their noses were pushed up against each other and it was hard to breathe. He kissed Mal until his mouth was slick and swollen,
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