her ablutions, constantly threatening
to submerge from view.
THE MERKIN: “She is beautiful…”
THE DOWSER: “Yes. Very desirable.”
THE GNOMON: “I wish to see her fully
exposed…”
THE MERKIN: “She will surely oblige us if we
exhibit our masculinity.”
THE GNOMON: “Perhaps… I am willing.”
THE DOWSER: “Together, then?”
Moving to positions evenly spaced about the
pool, the men ritually unzip their pants and produce rapidly
engorging genitalia to view. The woman smiles and rises slightly to
show the promise of her hips. Water drips with obvious reluctance
from her innocently roused nipples. She cannot suppress an
interested expression as she surveys their virile presentation,
eyes traveling a slow circuit from one man to another.
THE MERKIN: “Will you oblige us with
penetration?”
The woman smiles and nods without
hesitation, but makes no indication as to which man will occupy her
first. Seeking to clarify their priority, the men advertise their
intentions less generally.
THE GNOMON: “I will enter you from
behind…”
THE DOWSER: “I will put you on your
knees…”
THE MERKIN: “I will spread your legs and
rapture your vagina…”
The woman acknowledges their promises with a
sultry nod, but makes no move to approach them. Silence descends on
the group again.
THE DOWSER: “I am uncertain how we should
proceed.”
THE GNOMON: “Perhaps we should take
turns?”
THE MERKIN: “But that would grant someone
the honor of first occupation. Who knows if there will be a second?
Do either of you volunteer to cede the initial penetration?”
THE GNOMON: “No… I do not.”
THE DOWSER: “And neither I.”
They lurk silently for a moment as the woman
watches them with a subtly evaluative expression. Their erections
begin to falter in the ambience of this unmanly irresolution.
THE GNOMON: “Perhaps we could require her to
make the choice?”
THE DOWSER: “Which of us would begin this
coercion? Shall we take turns or impose on her all at once?”
They muse on his proposal for a little, but
it is soon clear none of them are too happy with this protocol.
THE MERKIN: “That is no answer. It would
injure the masculine prerogative and reflect badly on the men
chosen second and third.”
NARRATOR: “The pressure to resolve this situation hangs
heavily on the men. Then a new thought arises…”
THE MERKIN: “We are all nominally equal in status, so we
could vote on it; caucus until two of us can agree on a man to go
first.”
THE GNOMON: “That is interesting… The honor
of sexual precedence would be countered by the power to determine
who will have it.”
THE DOWSER: “Let us try this.”
The three men set to discussing the various
choices and a long while passes as the woman continues bathing,
listening without comment. And eventually an axis forms between the
Gnomon and the Dowser; they take control of the group and designate
the Merkin to go first.
THE MERKIN: “It shall be myself, then?”
THE GNOMON: “Yes. Then we will vote again to
determine who shall go next, and so on.”
THE DOWSER: “I can see no defect in this
protocol. Let us proceed.”
THE MERKIN: “Very well, then!”
The Merkin’s erection straightens decisively
and he wades into the pool. The woman smiles deferentially at his
rigorously established authority.
THE MERKIN: “Recline against the side of the
pool and spread your legs.”
She does so and he lifts her thighs to
either side, hoisting her pubis above the waterline.
NARRATOR: “And so the bathing beauty finds herself properly
exercised on the Merkin’s erection. And when he is done with her
flesh the vote is taken again to grant the next man his turn, and
so on…”
The Merkin’s brow
narrowed in dissatisfaction, and h is needle
faltered . He reflexively smoothed the
triangle of soft hair at his jaw, pondering the stitched words
lacing the canvas.
He knew it was not likely the foregoing scene
would survive to opening night,
to submerge from view.
THE MERKIN: “She is beautiful…”
THE DOWSER: “Yes. Very desirable.”
THE GNOMON: “I wish to see her fully
exposed…”
THE MERKIN: “She will surely oblige us if we
exhibit our masculinity.”
THE GNOMON: “Perhaps… I am willing.”
THE DOWSER: “Together, then?”
Moving to positions evenly spaced about the
pool, the men ritually unzip their pants and produce rapidly
engorging genitalia to view. The woman smiles and rises slightly to
show the promise of her hips. Water drips with obvious reluctance
from her innocently roused nipples. She cannot suppress an
interested expression as she surveys their virile presentation,
eyes traveling a slow circuit from one man to another.
THE MERKIN: “Will you oblige us with
penetration?”
The woman smiles and nods without
hesitation, but makes no indication as to which man will occupy her
first. Seeking to clarify their priority, the men advertise their
intentions less generally.
THE GNOMON: “I will enter you from
behind…”
THE DOWSER: “I will put you on your
knees…”
THE MERKIN: “I will spread your legs and
rapture your vagina…”
The woman acknowledges their promises with a
sultry nod, but makes no move to approach them. Silence descends on
the group again.
THE DOWSER: “I am uncertain how we should
proceed.”
THE GNOMON: “Perhaps we should take
turns?”
THE MERKIN: “But that would grant someone
the honor of first occupation. Who knows if there will be a second?
Do either of you volunteer to cede the initial penetration?”
THE GNOMON: “No… I do not.”
THE DOWSER: “And neither I.”
They lurk silently for a moment as the woman
watches them with a subtly evaluative expression. Their erections
begin to falter in the ambience of this unmanly irresolution.
THE GNOMON: “Perhaps we could require her to
make the choice?”
THE DOWSER: “Which of us would begin this
coercion? Shall we take turns or impose on her all at once?”
They muse on his proposal for a little, but
it is soon clear none of them are too happy with this protocol.
THE MERKIN: “That is no answer. It would
injure the masculine prerogative and reflect badly on the men
chosen second and third.”
NARRATOR: “The pressure to resolve this situation hangs
heavily on the men. Then a new thought arises…”
THE MERKIN: “We are all nominally equal in status, so we
could vote on it; caucus until two of us can agree on a man to go
first.”
THE GNOMON: “That is interesting… The honor
of sexual precedence would be countered by the power to determine
who will have it.”
THE DOWSER: “Let us try this.”
The three men set to discussing the various
choices and a long while passes as the woman continues bathing,
listening without comment. And eventually an axis forms between the
Gnomon and the Dowser; they take control of the group and designate
the Merkin to go first.
THE MERKIN: “It shall be myself, then?”
THE GNOMON: “Yes. Then we will vote again to
determine who shall go next, and so on.”
THE DOWSER: “I can see no defect in this
protocol. Let us proceed.”
THE MERKIN: “Very well, then!”
The Merkin’s erection straightens decisively
and he wades into the pool. The woman smiles deferentially at his
rigorously established authority.
THE MERKIN: “Recline against the side of the
pool and spread your legs.”
She does so and he lifts her thighs to
either side, hoisting her pubis above the waterline.
NARRATOR: “And so the bathing beauty finds herself properly
exercised on the Merkin’s erection. And when he is done with her
flesh the vote is taken again to grant the next man his turn, and
so on…”
The Merkin’s brow
narrowed in dissatisfaction, and h is needle
faltered . He reflexively smoothed the
triangle of soft hair at his jaw, pondering the stitched words
lacing the canvas.
He knew it was not likely the foregoing scene
would survive to opening night,
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