fact of life that lots of people, young or old, but especially young, don’t necessarily know what’s good for them. Most six-year-olds, given the choice, would opt for daily meals of candyfloss sandwiches, for example. This would NOT be good for them. It’s the same with choices regarding your sex life. People vastly cleverer than I have set those laws at 16 as this is the age at which they feel you are finally able to make mature(ish) decisions about sex. Anything less than that … well, the theory is ‘you might THINK you know what you’re doing, but let’s give it a few years to be sure’.
Even once you are 16, before you have sex, it is important to make sure everyone wants to do it or this is what is called rape. In recent years there have been some high-profile court cases where young men have found themselves in court because a sexual partner has alleged that they never consented to sex, sometimes because they were too drunk or semi-conscious. If your partner, whether they are a girl or a guy, is unable to give consent then this is also rape.
Rape is not just penetrative sex of a vagina or anus either. Oral or digital (hand) sex would also count.
It’s dead easy really: Just make sure you ASK before you do the sex. If she/he says ‘yes’, you’re off, if she/he says ‘no’, it’s off. Even if your partner changes their mind halfway through the sex, you MUST stop. If she/he does say no, don’t push it. Go home and have a wank.
DOING SEX
E ven though your body is more than capable of doing it, you might not be ready emotionally. Sex IS a big deal, especially when you’re young. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. Peer pressure is bollocks. As soon as early rumours of people in your class or circle of friends ‘doing it’ start to spread like wildfire, there can be a real pressure for everyone to start ‘losing it’, and by ‘it’ we mean ‘virginity’. This pressure to ditch your v-card as if it were cursed isn’t very sexy to you or prospective partners.
Similarly, if all this sex malarkey just isn’t all that appealing, or if the thought of someone else’s genitals plain terrifies you, this is another sure sign that now isn’t the time for you to be doing the sex. This is also fine. I always think you’ll KNOW when the time is right for you. A natural curiosity seems to blossom in us all at some point, but like everything relating to puberty, the day it arrives in your head and heart will be totally different to your next-door neighbour.
But what if you really want to have sex but can’t? Welcome to real life, mate! Pressuring and harassing partners to have sex is about as sexy as the smell you get when you leave a bit of raw chicken in the bin on a hot day. No one likes a slathering, horny teenage boy humping their leg like a dog in heat.
IF YOU’RE HORNY, DO EVERYONE A FAVOUR AND HAVE A WANK. YOUR TIME, MY FRIEND, WILL COME.
----
A piece of wisdom: if every loud-mouthed shitweasel was REALLY having as much sex as they brag about, do you really think they’d be wasting time CHATTING ABOUT IT? No, they’d be off DOING IT. I find the more people brag about sex, the more imaginary it is.
----
Anyway, you’ll know when you want to have sex because you’ll really, really want to. So when the time comes and remember the time will come, how do you do it and how do you do it well?
The good news is, you have your whole life to practice getting good at doing sex. No one is expecting you to be a first time porn star, THANK GOD. Remember what a turn-off that can be!
Instead, I want you to remember this: LOADS OF THINGS FEEL NICE. If you do lots of these things (not all at once), and remember to ask ‘does that feel nice?’, your partner will think that you are the best sex-doer there has ever been.
Here are the basics – the areas that feel nice.
There’s more than you think!
All the same bits feel nice on YOUR body too – with two small differences. First, and one
Even once you are 16, before you have sex, it is important to make sure everyone wants to do it or this is what is called rape. In recent years there have been some high-profile court cases where young men have found themselves in court because a sexual partner has alleged that they never consented to sex, sometimes because they were too drunk or semi-conscious. If your partner, whether they are a girl or a guy, is unable to give consent then this is also rape.
Rape is not just penetrative sex of a vagina or anus either. Oral or digital (hand) sex would also count.
It’s dead easy really: Just make sure you ASK before you do the sex. If she/he says ‘yes’, you’re off, if she/he says ‘no’, it’s off. Even if your partner changes their mind halfway through the sex, you MUST stop. If she/he does say no, don’t push it. Go home and have a wank.
DOING SEX
E ven though your body is more than capable of doing it, you might not be ready emotionally. Sex IS a big deal, especially when you’re young. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. Peer pressure is bollocks. As soon as early rumours of people in your class or circle of friends ‘doing it’ start to spread like wildfire, there can be a real pressure for everyone to start ‘losing it’, and by ‘it’ we mean ‘virginity’. This pressure to ditch your v-card as if it were cursed isn’t very sexy to you or prospective partners.
Similarly, if all this sex malarkey just isn’t all that appealing, or if the thought of someone else’s genitals plain terrifies you, this is another sure sign that now isn’t the time for you to be doing the sex. This is also fine. I always think you’ll KNOW when the time is right for you. A natural curiosity seems to blossom in us all at some point, but like everything relating to puberty, the day it arrives in your head and heart will be totally different to your next-door neighbour.
But what if you really want to have sex but can’t? Welcome to real life, mate! Pressuring and harassing partners to have sex is about as sexy as the smell you get when you leave a bit of raw chicken in the bin on a hot day. No one likes a slathering, horny teenage boy humping their leg like a dog in heat.
IF YOU’RE HORNY, DO EVERYONE A FAVOUR AND HAVE A WANK. YOUR TIME, MY FRIEND, WILL COME.
----
A piece of wisdom: if every loud-mouthed shitweasel was REALLY having as much sex as they brag about, do you really think they’d be wasting time CHATTING ABOUT IT? No, they’d be off DOING IT. I find the more people brag about sex, the more imaginary it is.
----
Anyway, you’ll know when you want to have sex because you’ll really, really want to. So when the time comes and remember the time will come, how do you do it and how do you do it well?
The good news is, you have your whole life to practice getting good at doing sex. No one is expecting you to be a first time porn star, THANK GOD. Remember what a turn-off that can be!
Instead, I want you to remember this: LOADS OF THINGS FEEL NICE. If you do lots of these things (not all at once), and remember to ask ‘does that feel nice?’, your partner will think that you are the best sex-doer there has ever been.
Here are the basics – the areas that feel nice.
There’s more than you think!
All the same bits feel nice on YOUR body too – with two small differences. First, and one
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