Read Online Beautiful Monster by Kate McCaffrey - Free Book Online Page A

blinks as if not recognising her and then speaks softly. ‘Hi Tess, yes, I’m fine. Off to school now?’
    Tess nods. ‘Got an in-class today for English. Studied all night.’
    â€˜You’ll be fine.’ Her mum distractedly pats Tess’s hand. ‘You’ve always been excellent at English.’
    â€˜See you when I get home?’ Tess doesn’t mean to make it sound like a question but she feels terribly nervous.
    â€˜I’ll be waiting.’
    When the paper is handed out, she’s sure she should be able to answer the question well, really well. But as she writes, her stomach grumbles, reminding her how hungry she is. Her thoughts drift from Chaucer to food, to Brodie, to visions of her mother and then, horribly, to her father’s stricken face. She tries to focus on Chaucer, to concentrate on his words, but she smells bacon. They must be cooking it in the home economics room, or at the canteen. She smells the fat, almost hears it sizzling, and swallows the water building up in her mouth. Her stomach gives an enormous roar. She quickly covers it with her hand and looks around, embarrassed, but no one is watching—they’re too engrossed writing. Chaucer—think, think. The words start to swim on the page, the letters going in and out of focus. Bacon fat fills the air. She feels it going up her nose, and breathes through her mouth. It sits on her tongue. Now she doesn’t want to swallow. If she does she’ll never know how many calories she’s taking in. She panics, her breath coming rapidly. The marks on her page are illegible. She has to put her head down on the desk.
    â€˜Tess, Tess.’
    She is shaken awake by Miss McLoughlin. She sits up, startled, and looks around. Other students are rising and pushing their chairs in, moving out the door. She wipes her hand over her face; there’s drool on her paper.
    â€˜Are you okay?’
    Tess glances at the teacher and then back at her page, her unfinished essay. Oh God! ‘I think, I might have...’ She can’t finish. Tears fill her eyes.
    â€˜What’s wrong, Tess? Late night?’ Miss McLoughlin pulls out a chair and sits down. ‘You haven’t been looking too well lately. Is everything okay?’
    Tess shakes her head. ‘Things have been a little stressful and now I’ve failed this assignment.’ She can’t hold back the tears.
    â€˜Is everything all right at home?’ Miss McLoughlin asks.
    Tess nods but says, ‘It’s my brother’s birthday...’
    â€˜Oh.’ Miss McLoughlin shakes her head. ‘Why didn’t you remind me before, Tess? You wouldn’t have had to sit this today. I would have given you an extension on it.’
    Tess shrugs again. ‘I didn’t think. I thought I could do it. That it would be okay. But now,’ she inhales sharply, ‘I’ve failed.’
    Her teacher collects the paper. ‘No, this isn’t fair. You can sit it again another time. When there’s not so much pressure on you.’
    Tess rises but feels unsteady and grabs the edge of the desk for support.
    â€˜Tess,’ her teacher says, noticing, ‘are you eating properly? You seem so low on energy.’
    Tess nods, glad her school uniform is baggy and Miss McLoughlin can’t assess her properly. She pulls her hands up into her sleeves. ‘I didn’t have breakfast,’ she finally admits, ‘but I’m going to get something from the canteen. And, Miss, thanks for giving me another chance.’
    She sits with Ned out on the oval. Since rowing ended she’s been avoiding Maddie and Chloe. They’ve always been her friends, but the guilt from the finals hasn’t left her and she can’t meet their eyes. These days she seeks out Ned and they always sit somewhere isolated where no one can watch them.
    She’s bought an apple and a yoghurt—carefully reading the ingredients on the