glides into your tight little pussy is mine. I’m the only man you can think about, the only man you want.”
“Why are you doing this? Are you trying to punish me?”
He didn’t know who he was hurting more: her or himself. The vision of someone else doing those things to her made it feel like someone was whipping him with a leather strap, making him beg for mercy. “Hell, I don’t know, maybe.”
Kissing his neck, collarbone, and shoulder, she gently slipped the shirt off. “If you want to stop, now would be the time,” she whispered, punctuating the words with soft kisses.
“We’ll figure this out later. Right now, I don’t want to think, I want to feel…” He slid his hands into her long, thick hair, tugging her head back. “I want to pound you, punish you, make you scream.” The anger still simmering beneath his words scared him. How could he still need her so much after all this time? He resented his weakness; his feelings for her were the one and only thing in his life that felt beyond his control.
“I want that too,” she murmured, sinking her teeth into his shoulder. “You remember how much I loved it when you lost control? When you used to fuck me, hard, fast… you were so reckless, so wild. I get wet just thinking about it.”
He remembered. God, those memories still haunted him. Possessed was the only word to describe how he felt. He had engaged in a lot of kinky sex in the last few years, but nothing compared to the wild abandon he surrendered to in her arms.
“Let’s take this upstairs,” he said, backing her toward the narrow staircase.
“I wasn’t sure you’d want to do this again,” she whispered, threading her hands through his hair. “When you found out it was me…” She bit her lip. “I thought you’d walk out, or throw me out, or…”
He knew he should tell her now that sex wouldn’t change anything, but he couldn’t force the words past the lump in his throat when he looked at her. Beneath the cool veneer of the beautiful, successful doctor lurked the scared, vulnerable girl he fell in love with, and he still longed to protect her, the way he had all those years ago. Even after the pain he’d endured because of her thoughtless actions that night, she was still his first love, his only love, and no matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t forget that.
“We’ll have plenty of time to talk later,” he said, brushing the hair away from her face. “Right now, I just want to forget about the past and the future.” Looking into her eyes, trying to find some hint of the stranger who’d betrayed him without a second thought, he asked, “Can we do that, Maya?”
“Yes,” she whispered, running her hands overs his abdomen. “That’s what I want, too. If this is all we have, I want to enjoy it.”
Her words assured him she wasn’t setting herself up for disappointment. She was steeling her heart against the good-bye that would inevitably follow tomorrow, but instead of feeling relieved, he was disappointed. He wanted her to be willing to fight for him, for them. Wasn’t he worth the effort anymore? Pausing at the top of the stairs, he pulled her against him. “Tell me the truth; do you still love me?” He surprised himself with the question. So much for living in the moment. She said she still loved him earlier, but he had to know whether she meant it.
“We don’t even know each other anymore,” she whispered. “Do we?”
He knew she was asking whether he still felt that unbreakable connection that once existed between him, and he did. She got under his skin, inside his soul, like no one before or since. “I think you know the answer to that.” He wanted her to be the one to risk the pain of rejection this time. He knew he was being a coward, but he couldn’t risk putting it all out there again.
“I don’t know what to say,” she said, her eyes drifting lower. “I don’t know what you want me to say.”
He didn’t know either; he was so
“Why are you doing this? Are you trying to punish me?”
He didn’t know who he was hurting more: her or himself. The vision of someone else doing those things to her made it feel like someone was whipping him with a leather strap, making him beg for mercy. “Hell, I don’t know, maybe.”
Kissing his neck, collarbone, and shoulder, she gently slipped the shirt off. “If you want to stop, now would be the time,” she whispered, punctuating the words with soft kisses.
“We’ll figure this out later. Right now, I don’t want to think, I want to feel…” He slid his hands into her long, thick hair, tugging her head back. “I want to pound you, punish you, make you scream.” The anger still simmering beneath his words scared him. How could he still need her so much after all this time? He resented his weakness; his feelings for her were the one and only thing in his life that felt beyond his control.
“I want that too,” she murmured, sinking her teeth into his shoulder. “You remember how much I loved it when you lost control? When you used to fuck me, hard, fast… you were so reckless, so wild. I get wet just thinking about it.”
He remembered. God, those memories still haunted him. Possessed was the only word to describe how he felt. He had engaged in a lot of kinky sex in the last few years, but nothing compared to the wild abandon he surrendered to in her arms.
“Let’s take this upstairs,” he said, backing her toward the narrow staircase.
“I wasn’t sure you’d want to do this again,” she whispered, threading her hands through his hair. “When you found out it was me…” She bit her lip. “I thought you’d walk out, or throw me out, or…”
He knew he should tell her now that sex wouldn’t change anything, but he couldn’t force the words past the lump in his throat when he looked at her. Beneath the cool veneer of the beautiful, successful doctor lurked the scared, vulnerable girl he fell in love with, and he still longed to protect her, the way he had all those years ago. Even after the pain he’d endured because of her thoughtless actions that night, she was still his first love, his only love, and no matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t forget that.
“We’ll have plenty of time to talk later,” he said, brushing the hair away from her face. “Right now, I just want to forget about the past and the future.” Looking into her eyes, trying to find some hint of the stranger who’d betrayed him without a second thought, he asked, “Can we do that, Maya?”
“Yes,” she whispered, running her hands overs his abdomen. “That’s what I want, too. If this is all we have, I want to enjoy it.”
Her words assured him she wasn’t setting herself up for disappointment. She was steeling her heart against the good-bye that would inevitably follow tomorrow, but instead of feeling relieved, he was disappointed. He wanted her to be willing to fight for him, for them. Wasn’t he worth the effort anymore? Pausing at the top of the stairs, he pulled her against him. “Tell me the truth; do you still love me?” He surprised himself with the question. So much for living in the moment. She said she still loved him earlier, but he had to know whether she meant it.
“We don’t even know each other anymore,” she whispered. “Do we?”
He knew she was asking whether he still felt that unbreakable connection that once existed between him, and he did. She got under his skin, inside his soul, like no one before or since. “I think you know the answer to that.” He wanted her to be the one to risk the pain of rejection this time. He knew he was being a coward, but he couldn’t risk putting it all out there again.
“I don’t know what to say,” she said, her eyes drifting lower. “I don’t know what you want me to say.”
He didn’t know either; he was so
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