“If you knew I was drunk, why’d you give me a ride?”
To learn one thing
, she thought. “Where were you on October 27, 2006?”
“Christ, I don’t know.” Meadows took in his surroundings. “Hey, where are we?”
Jude pointed at the corner as the car slipped past. “That was where my sister was killed by a drunk driver. Was it you?”
“You’re crazy, do you know that?” Meadows tapped his temple. “You’re cracked in places.”
“Just answer the question.”
Meadows wrinkled his face in confusion but saw the benefit of answering. “I don’t know what I was doing that night. All I know is that I didn’t run someone down that night, that corner, ever. Okay?”
Jude believed him. To live his life, she guessed he had to lie most days, but she knew somehow he wasn’t lying now.
“Okay. I’m sorry. You were drunk and it just brought something out in me. I’ll take you home now.”
“That’s okay. I understand,” he said in a fatherly tone. “The bad things stick and don’t wash off.”
He was right. The bad things did stick. Kirsten’s death had left a stain that couldn’t be removed. Jude eyed Meadows with something bordering on respect. She was wrong to blame him for Kirsten.
They drove the rest of the journey in silence, except for the occasional sliver of small talk. The trip came to a swift conclusion and she pulled up in front of his building.
“Thanks,” he said, sounding sober, and opened his door.
Jude wondered if she’d scared him straight tonight. It was a nice dream.
He went to leave but stopped. “You got a little squirrelly on me.” He laughed nervously. “Scared me, if I’m being honest.”
“Sorry.”
“It’s okay. Everyone needs to go off the rails now and again. It teaches you what’s important.”
Jude nodded. She understood all too well.
“If you want to come up for something before you go, that’s fine. I think I’ve got coffee somewhere. Not my poison, if you know what I mean.”
They laughed.
“No, I’m good. But thanks.”
“Okay.” He patted the dashboard. “Thanks, and you have a good night.”
Jude watched Meadows amble across the road. His advice had put a different spin on what she was trying to achieve. He’d made her understand. She knew how to move on, how to live her life without Kirsten.
Fabian offered closure, a chance to slip a noose around a surrogate’s neck, but it couldn’t be done.
“We provide closure in cases where there can be no closure,” Jude said to herself, quoting Fabian’s literature.
It had taken her until tonight to truly understand the meaning of that phrase. She would never have closure when it came to Kirsten. Offing Meadows wouldn’t bring her closure, but it was a start toward justice. Meadows hadn’t done anything to her, but he would to someone else. The laws of probability dictated it. One day, Meadows would kill someone else’s sister, or wife or daughter, and inflict the kind of misery she’d endured these past four years on someone else’sfamily. She couldn’t let that happen. If she let Meadows carry on and he took a life, her guilt would know no end.
Jude called out to Meadows to wait up, that she’d take that coffee after all. She pocketed the gun and followed him up the stairs.
FENDER BENDER
R acing back to his car, Todd cursed the ATM. Why was there always a line when he was in a hurry? He didn’t love his job packing boxes, but he didn’t want to lose it by being late again. He hopped back into his car and crunched it into reverse. The Honda Accord was way overdue for an overhaul, although even that wouldn’t do much for its ancient transmission. It was toast. Half the time, he didn’t know what gear he was selecting. The Accord stuttered in the parking stall.
“Get in there, damn it.”
Gears snarled as Todd struggled to find first. He jumped off the clutch, and the car leaped backward, slamming into a Porsche Boxster’s headlight.
“Shit!” he muttered.
His
To learn one thing
, she thought. “Where were you on October 27, 2006?”
“Christ, I don’t know.” Meadows took in his surroundings. “Hey, where are we?”
Jude pointed at the corner as the car slipped past. “That was where my sister was killed by a drunk driver. Was it you?”
“You’re crazy, do you know that?” Meadows tapped his temple. “You’re cracked in places.”
“Just answer the question.”
Meadows wrinkled his face in confusion but saw the benefit of answering. “I don’t know what I was doing that night. All I know is that I didn’t run someone down that night, that corner, ever. Okay?”
Jude believed him. To live his life, she guessed he had to lie most days, but she knew somehow he wasn’t lying now.
“Okay. I’m sorry. You were drunk and it just brought something out in me. I’ll take you home now.”
“That’s okay. I understand,” he said in a fatherly tone. “The bad things stick and don’t wash off.”
He was right. The bad things did stick. Kirsten’s death had left a stain that couldn’t be removed. Jude eyed Meadows with something bordering on respect. She was wrong to blame him for Kirsten.
They drove the rest of the journey in silence, except for the occasional sliver of small talk. The trip came to a swift conclusion and she pulled up in front of his building.
“Thanks,” he said, sounding sober, and opened his door.
Jude wondered if she’d scared him straight tonight. It was a nice dream.
He went to leave but stopped. “You got a little squirrelly on me.” He laughed nervously. “Scared me, if I’m being honest.”
“Sorry.”
“It’s okay. Everyone needs to go off the rails now and again. It teaches you what’s important.”
Jude nodded. She understood all too well.
“If you want to come up for something before you go, that’s fine. I think I’ve got coffee somewhere. Not my poison, if you know what I mean.”
They laughed.
“No, I’m good. But thanks.”
“Okay.” He patted the dashboard. “Thanks, and you have a good night.”
Jude watched Meadows amble across the road. His advice had put a different spin on what she was trying to achieve. He’d made her understand. She knew how to move on, how to live her life without Kirsten.
Fabian offered closure, a chance to slip a noose around a surrogate’s neck, but it couldn’t be done.
“We provide closure in cases where there can be no closure,” Jude said to herself, quoting Fabian’s literature.
It had taken her until tonight to truly understand the meaning of that phrase. She would never have closure when it came to Kirsten. Offing Meadows wouldn’t bring her closure, but it was a start toward justice. Meadows hadn’t done anything to her, but he would to someone else. The laws of probability dictated it. One day, Meadows would kill someone else’s sister, or wife or daughter, and inflict the kind of misery she’d endured these past four years on someone else’sfamily. She couldn’t let that happen. If she let Meadows carry on and he took a life, her guilt would know no end.
Jude called out to Meadows to wait up, that she’d take that coffee after all. She pocketed the gun and followed him up the stairs.
FENDER BENDER
R acing back to his car, Todd cursed the ATM. Why was there always a line when he was in a hurry? He didn’t love his job packing boxes, but he didn’t want to lose it by being late again. He hopped back into his car and crunched it into reverse. The Honda Accord was way overdue for an overhaul, although even that wouldn’t do much for its ancient transmission. It was toast. Half the time, he didn’t know what gear he was selecting. The Accord stuttered in the parking stall.
“Get in there, damn it.”
Gears snarled as Todd struggled to find first. He jumped off the clutch, and the car leaped backward, slamming into a Porsche Boxster’s headlight.
“Shit!” he muttered.
His
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