world-renowned chefs, elegant china, and the dreaded âspecialâ meal. But these days itâs more about logistics, portion control, and profit margin than fine diningâand everybody is pissed! Simply put, fine âwhiningâ has replaced fine dining. When the airline tells you theyâll be serving a five-course meal, it means an apple, a granola bar, cheese, crackers, and a mint in a paper bag.
The best way to handle this unfortunate reality is to lower your expectations. You might even try the self-reliance thingâyou know, carrying a small supply of food with you. One would never go into a fine restaurant in New York City, consume a meal, and then expect to walk out of the restaurant and be in Chicago. The same should be true for the in-flight dining experience: As a passenger you are paying for transport from here to there, not for the bologna sandwich that we throw in your face. Try to think of the food as a sideshow, not the main attraction. I know the commercials tell you everything is going to be grand, but the truth is that you will be happier if you expect less and bring something of your own, just in case you donât like what weâre serving (if we are serving anything at all). Also, most decent airports have improved their concourses and feature a pretty good selection of food. Personally, I try to bring my own food or to eat before I arrive rather than eat the plane food. Naturally, there are exceptions. If you have a close connection or a very long flight you might have to eat what is served on the plane. It wonât kill you, but just remember: The flight attendants didnât plan the menu, prepare the food, or forget to put the food on the plane . . . they just serve it! So if you donât like it write a letter to the chef.
This brings me to another thing that has been âeatingâ at me for some time now; the special-meal protocol. As you may or may not know, airlines offer special meals for those passengers with special dietary needs. You can order them when you purchase your ticket. We donât have them on board unless you order them in advance, and sometimes even then we donât have them. Now, if you order a special meal it means thatâs what you will be served, it does not mean you have a choice of the special meal or whatever the unspecial meal is for all the unspecial people on board. Bottom line, you cannot order a vegetarian, kosher, or fruit-plate special meal and then ask if you can also have the regular meal. Sorry, but thereâs usually only enough food available for each passenger to have one meal.
Sometimes passengers who have ordered special meals try to act as if they are not the special person who ordered the special meal, just so they can have the standard meal. In this case, some poor slob gets stuck eating the liarâs special meal or a few bags of lousy peanuts instead of the meal that is rightfully his. This will bring bad karma to you and it is recommended that if you go to the trouble of ordering a special meal that you eat it. Besides, we generally have a list of who ordered what and which seat theyâve been assigned. In other words, we can find you! I mention this because lately Iâve noticed an increase in the number of special meals on board; it seems that more and more people are ordering them, only to discover that the standard fare is the better fare. It really is getting out of handâthe other day I had nineteen special meals on board a breakfast flight! The only difference was that the vegetarian meal got peanut butter for the bagel rather than cream cheese. Not very special if you ask me! I think airlines should impose a small surcharge for ordering a special meal; that way only the people who really have to have a special meal would order one. Or better yet, get rid of the meal service altogetherâI mean everyone seems to hate the food so much anyhow!
Ah, the meal service is such a chore, and
The best way to handle this unfortunate reality is to lower your expectations. You might even try the self-reliance thingâyou know, carrying a small supply of food with you. One would never go into a fine restaurant in New York City, consume a meal, and then expect to walk out of the restaurant and be in Chicago. The same should be true for the in-flight dining experience: As a passenger you are paying for transport from here to there, not for the bologna sandwich that we throw in your face. Try to think of the food as a sideshow, not the main attraction. I know the commercials tell you everything is going to be grand, but the truth is that you will be happier if you expect less and bring something of your own, just in case you donât like what weâre serving (if we are serving anything at all). Also, most decent airports have improved their concourses and feature a pretty good selection of food. Personally, I try to bring my own food or to eat before I arrive rather than eat the plane food. Naturally, there are exceptions. If you have a close connection or a very long flight you might have to eat what is served on the plane. It wonât kill you, but just remember: The flight attendants didnât plan the menu, prepare the food, or forget to put the food on the plane . . . they just serve it! So if you donât like it write a letter to the chef.
This brings me to another thing that has been âeatingâ at me for some time now; the special-meal protocol. As you may or may not know, airlines offer special meals for those passengers with special dietary needs. You can order them when you purchase your ticket. We donât have them on board unless you order them in advance, and sometimes even then we donât have them. Now, if you order a special meal it means thatâs what you will be served, it does not mean you have a choice of the special meal or whatever the unspecial meal is for all the unspecial people on board. Bottom line, you cannot order a vegetarian, kosher, or fruit-plate special meal and then ask if you can also have the regular meal. Sorry, but thereâs usually only enough food available for each passenger to have one meal.
Sometimes passengers who have ordered special meals try to act as if they are not the special person who ordered the special meal, just so they can have the standard meal. In this case, some poor slob gets stuck eating the liarâs special meal or a few bags of lousy peanuts instead of the meal that is rightfully his. This will bring bad karma to you and it is recommended that if you go to the trouble of ordering a special meal that you eat it. Besides, we generally have a list of who ordered what and which seat theyâve been assigned. In other words, we can find you! I mention this because lately Iâve noticed an increase in the number of special meals on board; it seems that more and more people are ordering them, only to discover that the standard fare is the better fare. It really is getting out of handâthe other day I had nineteen special meals on board a breakfast flight! The only difference was that the vegetarian meal got peanut butter for the bagel rather than cream cheese. Not very special if you ask me! I think airlines should impose a small surcharge for ordering a special meal; that way only the people who really have to have a special meal would order one. Or better yet, get rid of the meal service altogetherâI mean everyone seems to hate the food so much anyhow!
Ah, the meal service is such a chore, and
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