cousin’s company.
Kieran closed his eyes, tired of his reflection. Auggie had pulled out of the tailspin of their childhood early on, first by joining the navy, then by going immediately into the police academy. Today, he was an officer in the Boston Police Department. Kieran grimaced, knowing his own transformation had taken much longer, and it had come at a terrible price. It had involved not only losing his mom, but carrying a secret he could never tell Audrey, which meant he could never be honest with her.
And if his addiction meetings had taught him anything, it was that honesty was a pillar of any strong relationship. As much as his fingers yearned to touch her cheek, as much as he longed to pull her close to his chest and feel her warmth against him, and as much as he wished he could atone for the past, it could never be.
He sighed, wishing Audrey could just evaporate, like mist when the sun warms the air. It seemed unfair that his heart could swell so much in her presence. It was a wonder that it didn’t come exploding out of his chest.
He turned off the tap, listening to the water drip, trying to focus on the sound.
The longer he was around Audrey, the more he wanted to atone for his actions. But coming clean with her would mean she’d find out that he was once an addict who, five years ago, had accepted a terrible deal at a desperate crossroads. It would also ruin her closest relationship—and he wasn’t about to go causing any more damage to Audrey than he already had.
He glanced at his reflection in the mirror—all angles and edges. Not soft with emotion. Not soft with anything .
There had once been a day when he’d been good at bluffing. Good at pretending.
His gambling days were behind him—he’d made damn sure of that—but he needed one more lie. He told himself he didn’t care for Audrey Tanner one whit.
And as he stared at his shadowed face in the bathroom mirror, he almost believed it.
C HAPTER FIVE
T he next morning, streetlight reflections glimmered on the wet blacktop as Audrey jogged through her neighborhood. The rain shower from the night before had cleared the early May air, leaving the smell of fresh dirt and pine and grass on the wind. Audrey inhaled deeply as she wove her way through streets lined with still-sleeping households. In the east, the sky was transitioning from black to a dim rose, and stars were fading above.
It was her favorite time to get a workout in—to be alone and let her legs move while her brain unfurled its coiled ideas—but today she wasn’t so sure she liked how much her focus kept shifting back to Kieran Callaghan.
She desperately wanted to think that after five years, her searing desire for him would have cooled a little bit. She’d always told herself that she couldn’t resist a bad boy—but Kieran wasn’t acting like a bad boy now. And a prickling unease reminded her that she wasn’t sure he ever had been. Sure, he had ridden a motorcycle and didn’t seem to have any kind of full-time job when she first met him. But he’d never seemed downright…nefarious. She’d stereotyped him that way later, after he’d left her. Her hurt had rewritten the story of their brief time together, and after a while she’d figured she must have imagined his blend of tenderness and muscle, and how a jumble of contrasts could exist in one man: strength and softness, intelligence and bravado.
Audrey wiped her forehead and hoped her thoughts of Kieran would be wiped away, too. All these mental gymnastics and flutters in her stomach didn’t mean anything, except maybe she needed to get laid. Never mind that she’d never had a one-night stand in her life. Even after such a short time with Kieran, when they came together, she’d believed she was in love. But if there was any time to shake things up, it was now.
Not that it had to be sex that changed things. She pushed a strand of sweaty hair away from her forehead. When it came down to it, there were
Kieran closed his eyes, tired of his reflection. Auggie had pulled out of the tailspin of their childhood early on, first by joining the navy, then by going immediately into the police academy. Today, he was an officer in the Boston Police Department. Kieran grimaced, knowing his own transformation had taken much longer, and it had come at a terrible price. It had involved not only losing his mom, but carrying a secret he could never tell Audrey, which meant he could never be honest with her.
And if his addiction meetings had taught him anything, it was that honesty was a pillar of any strong relationship. As much as his fingers yearned to touch her cheek, as much as he longed to pull her close to his chest and feel her warmth against him, and as much as he wished he could atone for the past, it could never be.
He sighed, wishing Audrey could just evaporate, like mist when the sun warms the air. It seemed unfair that his heart could swell so much in her presence. It was a wonder that it didn’t come exploding out of his chest.
He turned off the tap, listening to the water drip, trying to focus on the sound.
The longer he was around Audrey, the more he wanted to atone for his actions. But coming clean with her would mean she’d find out that he was once an addict who, five years ago, had accepted a terrible deal at a desperate crossroads. It would also ruin her closest relationship—and he wasn’t about to go causing any more damage to Audrey than he already had.
He glanced at his reflection in the mirror—all angles and edges. Not soft with emotion. Not soft with anything .
There had once been a day when he’d been good at bluffing. Good at pretending.
His gambling days were behind him—he’d made damn sure of that—but he needed one more lie. He told himself he didn’t care for Audrey Tanner one whit.
And as he stared at his shadowed face in the bathroom mirror, he almost believed it.
C HAPTER FIVE
T he next morning, streetlight reflections glimmered on the wet blacktop as Audrey jogged through her neighborhood. The rain shower from the night before had cleared the early May air, leaving the smell of fresh dirt and pine and grass on the wind. Audrey inhaled deeply as she wove her way through streets lined with still-sleeping households. In the east, the sky was transitioning from black to a dim rose, and stars were fading above.
It was her favorite time to get a workout in—to be alone and let her legs move while her brain unfurled its coiled ideas—but today she wasn’t so sure she liked how much her focus kept shifting back to Kieran Callaghan.
She desperately wanted to think that after five years, her searing desire for him would have cooled a little bit. She’d always told herself that she couldn’t resist a bad boy—but Kieran wasn’t acting like a bad boy now. And a prickling unease reminded her that she wasn’t sure he ever had been. Sure, he had ridden a motorcycle and didn’t seem to have any kind of full-time job when she first met him. But he’d never seemed downright…nefarious. She’d stereotyped him that way later, after he’d left her. Her hurt had rewritten the story of their brief time together, and after a while she’d figured she must have imagined his blend of tenderness and muscle, and how a jumble of contrasts could exist in one man: strength and softness, intelligence and bravado.
Audrey wiped her forehead and hoped her thoughts of Kieran would be wiped away, too. All these mental gymnastics and flutters in her stomach didn’t mean anything, except maybe she needed to get laid. Never mind that she’d never had a one-night stand in her life. Even after such a short time with Kieran, when they came together, she’d believed she was in love. But if there was any time to shake things up, it was now.
Not that it had to be sex that changed things. She pushed a strand of sweaty hair away from her forehead. When it came down to it, there were
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