Read Online An Arm and a Leg by Olive Balla - Free Book Online

to pick me up for a date. But he was so possessive of me, so jealous. I thought he must love me madly. I grew up in a sheltered environment, never knew anything about the kind of life he lived. It seemed so full of adventure and excitement, so…” Frankie waved her hand in the air. “So anything-but-boring. Of course I couldn’t wait to marry him.”
    “And you chose to keep your maiden name?”
    “Yes. I perform four to six pipe organ concerts a year; it’s my professional name.”
    “Ah.” Angela nodded. “Whose idea was it to break up?”
    “Stephen’s, would you believe?” Frankie snorted again.
    “How did you feel about that?”
    “I was crushed. I mean, isn’t it usually the woman who wants out?” Frankie shook her head and looked at the floor. “He told me I was afraid to jump in with both feet, that I always held something back. He said he knew I never really loved him.”
    “And did you love him?”
    “I must have. I mean…I think so. I’ve missed him, missed having someone.” Frankie’s face screwed up into a tight wad of flesh. She probably looked like one of those hand-carved, dried-apple-heads she’d seen during a trip through the Ozarks. Dried up. That was going to be her future—a dried up old woman. She sniffed. “But relationships always bring problems, don’t they? All relationships. You let yourself love someone, and they move away. Or stop loving you. Or they die.” She shook her head, a couple of tight little jerks. “I decided a long time ago that it’s better not to get sucked in too deep. Life’s easier without having to wait for the freight train you know is just waiting to run you over. It’s like…I mean, why just stand there waiting for the bullet that’ll tear out your heart? Seems like a no-brainer to me.”
    Angela sighed. “So you avoid the pain of loss by keeping everyone at arm’s length. How has that worked for you so far?”
    Frankie blew a puff of air through her stiff lips. “I’m getting by.”
    Angela’s face softened, as did her voice. “You’ve gone through a divorce, you’ve lost the uncle who raised you, and you’ve seen your brother killed before your eyes. In spite of your efforts, in a fairly short time you’ve sustained a great deal of what you’re trying so hard to avoid. No one could suffer that much loss and remain unscathed.”
    “Oh, I’m definitely feeling pretty scathed.” Frankie snorted. She forced her lips upward at the corners, but the rest of her face felt like a slab of concrete.
    “Humor can be a great coping mechanism. But if you continue to work with me, you’ll have to face your losses head on. No holds barred and no exceptions. Are you up for that?”
    “I’m willing to do whatever it takes.”
    Angela nodded. “Glad to hear you say that. And I’ll do my best to help.” She smiled again. “Have you been in any relationships since your divorce?”
    “Not really.” Frankie picked at her thumbnail. “Unless having tea with my elderly neighbor every couple of weeks counts.”
    “You have a great sense of humor. But just so you know, whenever you deflect a question by tossing out a meaningless response, I’m going to call you on it.” Angela smiled to soften her words. “Let me be more specific: have you been involved romantically with anyone since your divorce?”
    “I haven’t…no one else has… No.”
    “So what do you hope to get out of our sessions?”
    Frankie shifted her eyes toward the room’s single window and focused on the deep burgundy leaves of a Japanese maple and the blue, cloudless sky beyond it. “I just want to have a normal life. I can’t remember ever feeling normal.”
    “Having what you think of as a normal life and feeling normal are two different prongs of the same fork. Describe your version of a normal life.”
    Frankie turned her eyes back toward the therapist. She lifted her hands in front of her, palms outward, as if trying to stop a charging bull. “I guess the