Read Online An Accidental Life by Pamela Binnings Ewen - Free Book Online

as she loved him. But, as she stood there staring into the gloom, slowly, slowly the truth rose—who was she kidding. Peter had gone along with her choice not to have children so far, but now she was pregnant, all bets were off. His entire career was devoted to protecting the innocent, to the sanctity of life in all its forms. There was no choice now to be made. Not if she wanted to hold on to Peter’s love.
    Shaking her head, she pushed off the doorframe and turned, walking slowly up the stairs, holding onto the neck of the bottle as she ascended, wishing that the trip to Italy this weekend were still possible. She needed to get away; needed time to think.
    In the bedroom she set the bottle down and sat once again on the edge of the mattress. Her entire life was turning upside down—her relationship with Peter and their marriage, her ambitions and career; in her mind she saw all of this flittering away like feathers on a breeze. She sighed. Consumed as she and Peter had been by their careers for the past two years, neither had ever contemplated this situation. And even now, still, it didn’t seem real.
    She fell back on the bed, arms flung out to her sides and stared at the ceiling. Peter was the only man she’d ever really loved. And once she told Peter the news, this would all be real. What would happen after that? Her life would be forever altered. That bitter resentment that had begun in Dr. Matlock’s office now filled her. This was her body, her career at risk—and regardless of his good intentions, Peter would leave her behind with the baby every morning when he left for work.
    She would be the one responsible for raising their child.
    Responsible.
    With a groan, she scooted back on the mattress, pulled the pillow toward her, and stretched out. There she lay until at last, she fell asleep.

    The sound of the front door opening downstairs woke her. She squinted into the dim light of the bedroom, confused, then abruptly sat up and looked about, remembering. A cloud of gloom enveloped her as she sat there without moving, absorbing the news all over again as it rose new and shocking.
    Slowly she realized that Peter was home.
    “Rebecca?”
    “Up here,” she called.
    Her stomach lurched. Should she tell him now?
    She looked at the clock and saw that it was early, still. He couldn’t find her like this, disheveled, half-asleep at a time when she was usually downtown working. Scrambling for her shoes, she slipped them back on, and tucking her blouse into the waist and smoothing her skirt, she looked about. She needed time to think. She couldn’t tell Peter just yet, not yet.
    Time. She needed time to think things through before everything came tumbling down around her.
    “What are you doing home?” His voice came from the bottom of the stairs and then he started up.
    Hurrying into the bathroom, she flicked on the lights in passing and sat at her dressing table. She picked up the hairbrush and swiped it once through her hair. When he walked in, she was holding it midair watching him in the mirror.
    “My calendar was free,” she said. “So here I am.”
    He braced his hands on either side of the doorway and looked at her. She resumed brushing her hair.
    “That’s not like you, Rebbe. Did they clear the building for some reason?”
    She tilted her head and looked at him in the mirror. “It’s not that early.” She put down the brush and turned to face him. “How’s the trial coming along? Any chance we’re going to Italy this weekend?”
    He grinned and circled his finger and thumb. “They took a plea, looks like we’re on. I’m ready if you are.”
    Relief flooded her. “That’s great,” she said. “I’ll get things settled with Sydney. She’ll take over at work while we’re gone.” Instantly she felt better. Time, she just needed time to get used to the idea that she would be . . . was . . . a mother before she announced the news to Peter. Surely there was a way to work this out without