calls himself.”
“He did! ”
I nodded. “He came into Wales’s office when we were all in there—me, Walesy, Esmeralda. He called me the man of little faith.”
“Really?”
“He said we’re kicking off the campaign a week from today. You’re the press liaison.”
“Press liaison? I don’t know the first thing about dealing with the press.”
“Right, but he thought you’d be great at it. I’m in charge of security, if that makes you feel any more secure.”
“Not much, honestly.”
“Well, how about this, then: He wants my parents to be involved. My brother Stab, too. Wales. Ezzie. Maybe even Enrica Dominique. We’ve raised a couple million dollars already.”
“Then it’s serious now. It’s real.”
I felt a zipper of chill go running up my arms.
“What’s wrong, Russell?”
“Nothing.”
She took hold of my chin in one hand and turned my face to her, lovingly, gently. But the eye contact was intense. “Full honesty.”
I looked away, looked back. “You haven’t met him,” I said.
“I know. I can’t wait.”
“Right. But I have met him. Twice now. And, well, you know, there are certain aspects of this that don’t exactly inspire confidence.”
“For example.”
“For example, he doesn’t fit the description.”
“What description?”
“He’s saying he’s Jesus, Zel. Jesus. The Big Guy, you know, God for a lot of people.”
“And?”
“And he doesn’t fit the description. I mean, don’t get me wrong, he seems to know things about people that I’m surprised he knows. And when he comes into the room you can definitely feel a sort of, I don’t know, a power or something. But, look, I feel that when the Patriots’ quarterback comes into the room, for God’s sake. I’ve felt it with nurses on kids’ wards, with—”
“Your friend, what’s-her-name, for example.”
“Yes, my friend what’s-her-name, who you also haven’t met. And stopbeing jealous, that’s my territory. Listen, he’s an impressive guy, but look at what we’re doing. I’m quitting my job. We’re about to go public in support of this guy, saying he’s Jesus, I mean, the Jesus. What does that do for my reputation, and for your reputation if we’re wrong? If it’s some kind of scam? Have you considered that?”
She looked at me. She sat back on the sofa and just looked. It was a look that made you feel like you were three and a half and had knocked over your bowl of cereal for the second time. “You’re wavering,” she said, after a few bad seconds.
“Probably.”
“Do you have any idea how much wavering I see in this room?”
I shook my head.
“Husbands who say they want to love someone forever, and then they waver. Mothers who decide to have children and bring them up in a loving home, and then they waver. Men and women who promise this, and promise that, and they keep to the promise for a month or a year or ten years and then something happens, life happens, and they wobble, they waver, they crack and crumble. You know what that does to the people in their lives?”
“I was divorced, you know that. It happens. It’s called a mistake, bad judgment, youth. It doesn’t mean—”
“I’m not talking about breaking up with a crazy or abusive spouse, or when a marriage is unhealthy. I’m talking about faith. Constancy. You’re worried about your reputation. Do you know what Gandhi said?”
I shook my head.
“He said, ‘A man of courage can do without a reputation.’”
“That sexist bastard,” I said. “And all these years I thought he was a cool guy.”
She almost smiled. Almost. After a second or two she said, “You asked me to marry you this morning. Are you going to waver on that, too, Russ?”
“Never.”
“Maybe I don’t fit the description.”
“It’s a different situation. You’re not claiming to be God. You didn’task me to quit my job and help you run for president. You’ve got a nicer body than he does—”
“Be serious,
“He did! ”
I nodded. “He came into Wales’s office when we were all in there—me, Walesy, Esmeralda. He called me the man of little faith.”
“Really?”
“He said we’re kicking off the campaign a week from today. You’re the press liaison.”
“Press liaison? I don’t know the first thing about dealing with the press.”
“Right, but he thought you’d be great at it. I’m in charge of security, if that makes you feel any more secure.”
“Not much, honestly.”
“Well, how about this, then: He wants my parents to be involved. My brother Stab, too. Wales. Ezzie. Maybe even Enrica Dominique. We’ve raised a couple million dollars already.”
“Then it’s serious now. It’s real.”
I felt a zipper of chill go running up my arms.
“What’s wrong, Russell?”
“Nothing.”
She took hold of my chin in one hand and turned my face to her, lovingly, gently. But the eye contact was intense. “Full honesty.”
I looked away, looked back. “You haven’t met him,” I said.
“I know. I can’t wait.”
“Right. But I have met him. Twice now. And, well, you know, there are certain aspects of this that don’t exactly inspire confidence.”
“For example.”
“For example, he doesn’t fit the description.”
“What description?”
“He’s saying he’s Jesus, Zel. Jesus. The Big Guy, you know, God for a lot of people.”
“And?”
“And he doesn’t fit the description. I mean, don’t get me wrong, he seems to know things about people that I’m surprised he knows. And when he comes into the room you can definitely feel a sort of, I don’t know, a power or something. But, look, I feel that when the Patriots’ quarterback comes into the room, for God’s sake. I’ve felt it with nurses on kids’ wards, with—”
“Your friend, what’s-her-name, for example.”
“Yes, my friend what’s-her-name, who you also haven’t met. And stopbeing jealous, that’s my territory. Listen, he’s an impressive guy, but look at what we’re doing. I’m quitting my job. We’re about to go public in support of this guy, saying he’s Jesus, I mean, the Jesus. What does that do for my reputation, and for your reputation if we’re wrong? If it’s some kind of scam? Have you considered that?”
She looked at me. She sat back on the sofa and just looked. It was a look that made you feel like you were three and a half and had knocked over your bowl of cereal for the second time. “You’re wavering,” she said, after a few bad seconds.
“Probably.”
“Do you have any idea how much wavering I see in this room?”
I shook my head.
“Husbands who say they want to love someone forever, and then they waver. Mothers who decide to have children and bring them up in a loving home, and then they waver. Men and women who promise this, and promise that, and they keep to the promise for a month or a year or ten years and then something happens, life happens, and they wobble, they waver, they crack and crumble. You know what that does to the people in their lives?”
“I was divorced, you know that. It happens. It’s called a mistake, bad judgment, youth. It doesn’t mean—”
“I’m not talking about breaking up with a crazy or abusive spouse, or when a marriage is unhealthy. I’m talking about faith. Constancy. You’re worried about your reputation. Do you know what Gandhi said?”
I shook my head.
“He said, ‘A man of courage can do without a reputation.’”
“That sexist bastard,” I said. “And all these years I thought he was a cool guy.”
She almost smiled. Almost. After a second or two she said, “You asked me to marry you this morning. Are you going to waver on that, too, Russ?”
“Never.”
“Maybe I don’t fit the description.”
“It’s a different situation. You’re not claiming to be God. You didn’task me to quit my job and help you run for president. You’ve got a nicer body than he does—”
“Be serious,
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