Read Online American rust by Philipp Meyer - Free Book Online Page B
Authors: Philipp Meyer
Tags: Fiction, Literary, General, detective, Sagas, Thrillers, Mystery & Detective, American Mystery & Suspense Fiction, Crime, Mystery Fiction, Fiction - Mystery, Mystery & Detective - General, Murder, Fayette County (Pa.)
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everything you brought last night.” She watched him dress and walk out, he was shaking his head the whole time. When his truck pulled out she thought she might cry but she didn't. She forced herself to get out of bed, knowing that if she didn't she might end up stuck there, wallowing. She wondered who she could call to find out for sure but it didn't matter, she knew, knew he'd run out of money, maybe gotten dumped by one of his girlfriends so he'd looked her up. It was what the girls at work had told her was happening, they'd been watching it go on forever, but she hadn't wanted to believe them. That was when she started crying. Not too much, though. She picked up the bottle of whiskey he'd left, undid the cap but it seemed distasteful that his mouth had touched it. Into the trashcan.
The sun was getting lower. She hoped Billy would come home soon but what if he didn't? She should get a dog, maybe. It wasn't too late to go to the shelter, they could always use extra help. She could call Harris.
It hit her suddenly how cruel Virgil was, he was an empty shell, he'd gotten by his whole life on his looks, but that would change for him as it was changing for her, and what would be left—-just the mean streak. The parts of Billy she worried about, the quick temper, it all came right from Virgil. She wondered how she'd never seen it before, but then she knew she'd always seen it, she'd chosen to ignore it. She was making another decision now, or it felt like it had been made for her, it felt impossible at that moment that she'd ever loved him. You're probably just in shock, she thought, but then no, it was like a switch had been turned off.
The tomatoes were there in the window, she carried them out and got a shovel from the shed, out behind Billy's half- done projects, a parts car he'd bought to keep his other car running, riding lawn mowers, the four- wheeler. Worrying about him again, coming home last night with the cut on his neck. But things like that had happened many times before, never that bad but still, he was a magnet for trouble. She should have taken him out of this place a long time ago.
Kicking the shovel hard into the dirt, she planted all six tomatoes and the peppers as well, setting the trellises and stepping on them to set them firmly. It was nice standing in the breeze, her hands dirty, looking at the plants and the freshly turned soil, looking out over the rolling hills, it was a good view. Forty- one was not so old. It was almost too young to be president. She would call Harris. He was a good man, she'd always known that.
Of course she could just keep going like this, being alone, but there was no point to it. You felt strong for about a week and then you were just alone. And Bud Harris, he was a good man, uncomfortable but what did it matter, the ones that had the easiest time talking also had the easiest time screwing around behind your back. That was a lesson you didn't learn until it was too late. But it was not too late. Harris, he was respected, there was a reason she'd nearly left Virgil for him, two different times she had thought seriously about it, and Virgil, Virgil was not respected by anyone and there was a reason for that as well. I will sleep with Buddy tonight, she thought, it will clean me out, it was a giddy notion. Virgil had done worse, he'd come to her smelling directly of other women. She wondered if he'd given her any diseases. She had been checked, though most of the time she'd made him use condoms, that was the one smart thing she'd done in her life.
She walked around the inside of the trailer. When they bought it Virgil swore it was temporary, that they would build a house soon enough. She wondered why she'd listened. It was an old trailer, at least it was a doublewide but it leaked air everywhere, fake paneling from the 1970s, she'd splurged to replace the carpets but with the boy in and out of the field so often they were quickly ruined again. Virgil had wanted to put
The sun was getting lower. She hoped Billy would come home soon but what if he didn't? She should get a dog, maybe. It wasn't too late to go to the shelter, they could always use extra help. She could call Harris.
It hit her suddenly how cruel Virgil was, he was an empty shell, he'd gotten by his whole life on his looks, but that would change for him as it was changing for her, and what would be left—-just the mean streak. The parts of Billy she worried about, the quick temper, it all came right from Virgil. She wondered how she'd never seen it before, but then she knew she'd always seen it, she'd chosen to ignore it. She was making another decision now, or it felt like it had been made for her, it felt impossible at that moment that she'd ever loved him. You're probably just in shock, she thought, but then no, it was like a switch had been turned off.
The tomatoes were there in the window, she carried them out and got a shovel from the shed, out behind Billy's half- done projects, a parts car he'd bought to keep his other car running, riding lawn mowers, the four- wheeler. Worrying about him again, coming home last night with the cut on his neck. But things like that had happened many times before, never that bad but still, he was a magnet for trouble. She should have taken him out of this place a long time ago.
Kicking the shovel hard into the dirt, she planted all six tomatoes and the peppers as well, setting the trellises and stepping on them to set them firmly. It was nice standing in the breeze, her hands dirty, looking at the plants and the freshly turned soil, looking out over the rolling hills, it was a good view. Forty- one was not so old. It was almost too young to be president. She would call Harris. He was a good man, she'd always known that.
Of course she could just keep going like this, being alone, but there was no point to it. You felt strong for about a week and then you were just alone. And Bud Harris, he was a good man, uncomfortable but what did it matter, the ones that had the easiest time talking also had the easiest time screwing around behind your back. That was a lesson you didn't learn until it was too late. But it was not too late. Harris, he was respected, there was a reason she'd nearly left Virgil for him, two different times she had thought seriously about it, and Virgil, Virgil was not respected by anyone and there was a reason for that as well. I will sleep with Buddy tonight, she thought, it will clean me out, it was a giddy notion. Virgil had done worse, he'd come to her smelling directly of other women. She wondered if he'd given her any diseases. She had been checked, though most of the time she'd made him use condoms, that was the one smart thing she'd done in her life.
She walked around the inside of the trailer. When they bought it Virgil swore it was temporary, that they would build a house soon enough. She wondered why she'd listened. It was an old trailer, at least it was a doublewide but it leaked air everywhere, fake paneling from the 1970s, she'd splurged to replace the carpets but with the boy in and out of the field so often they were quickly ruined again. Virgil had wanted to put
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