Read Online Always on My Mind by Susan May Warren - Free Book Online
Authors: Susan May Warren
Ads: Link
window overlooking the babies, wrapped like gifts in duck-printed flannel blankets, their wrinkled, old-man faces furrowed in slumber.
One woke, frowned, and began to wail. A nurse came in, scooping the infant up before he woke the rest of the babies.
Raina’s baby lay asleep, her dark hair peeking out of the swaddling. Her Layla —yes, she’d named the child and tucked it deep inside like a secret.
Raina traced her outline against the glass.
You can’t go back.
What if she took Layla home? Tried to build a life for her?
You have a baby —a baby who will be loved by my family.
Stupid Casper. He had no business conjuring up hope, brittle and sour in her chest. She had no doubt the Christiansens would attempt to embrace the baby. After six months with Grace, she’d seen enough of the family to believe that she wouldn’t be alone.
But for how long? What happened when Casper got tired of playing uncle and met a woman who didn’t remind him every day of her sins, his mistakes? And Owen —he certainly wouldn’t show up to change a diaper.
Even if he did, the last thing she needed was a marriage steeped in bitterness and founded on duty. Yeah, that was a recipe for happily ever after.
But if she stayed single, she doomed the baby to the same lonely, poverty-stricken latchkey childhood she’d endured. And what if something happened to her? What if, like her mother, she got cancer and left this earth with her daughter only nine years old?
Who would take Layla then?
As for God —right. He would hardly rush to her side to help.
A food service attendant trundled a cart of breakfast down the hall, past her. Her stomach recoiled at the smell.
Raina pressed her forehead to the cool glass.
You will always regret this . . .
She shook Casper’s voice from her head and followed the food cart back toward her room.
She might not be keeping her child, but it didn’t negate the fact that she’d given life to another human being. And given the gift of motherhood to a woman who longed for a child.
Yes, that thought could almost temper the urge to curl into a ball and weep.
Sunlight cascaded in through the windows, the sky blue for the first time in weeks. A golden layer of snow blanketed the landscape, soft and ethereal as she entered her room.
She climbed into bed, drawing the covers up. Leaned back into the pillows, her body still sore from yesterday’s quick birth. She closed her eyes, heard the knock at the door.
Breakfast. “Come in.”
The door eased open. “Good morning, Raina.”
She opened her eyes to Dori Marcus, her social worker fromthe adoption agency. In her late twenties, she wore a crisp green jacket and her dark hair boy-short. Put together, confident.
As if she knew all the right decisions.
“Are you ready to get this paperwork done?”
Dori didn’t say the words directly —it seemed that perhaps the social workers at Open Hearts Adoption Agency were schooled in the delicate art of convincing a woman to surrender her child into the arms of another. In fact, ever since Raina had contacted the agency, they’d treated her with a sort of gentleness, as if she might spook, change her mind.
She couldn’t turn back now. “Yeah, I’m ready.”
“Perfect. Irene and Michael are here and ready to take the baby home.”
Raina tried not to let those words sting. She swallowed and opened the file of papers Dori handed her.
“Just so you understand, this is a temporary agreement until the judge signs the formal papers in sixty days,” Dori explained. “You’ll sign the formal relinquishment before then. The waiting period gives you a chance to think through your decision before it becomes permanent.”
“I’ve thought it through —I don’t need to wait.”
“Of course not. But it also gives the adoptive parents a chance —”
“They’re not going to give her back, are they?”
Dori shook her head. “It’s just a precaution so the state can monitor how
One woke, frowned, and began to wail. A nurse came in, scooping the infant up before he woke the rest of the babies.
Raina’s baby lay asleep, her dark hair peeking out of the swaddling. Her Layla —yes, she’d named the child and tucked it deep inside like a secret.
Raina traced her outline against the glass.
You can’t go back.
What if she took Layla home? Tried to build a life for her?
You have a baby —a baby who will be loved by my family.
Stupid Casper. He had no business conjuring up hope, brittle and sour in her chest. She had no doubt the Christiansens would attempt to embrace the baby. After six months with Grace, she’d seen enough of the family to believe that she wouldn’t be alone.
But for how long? What happened when Casper got tired of playing uncle and met a woman who didn’t remind him every day of her sins, his mistakes? And Owen —he certainly wouldn’t show up to change a diaper.
Even if he did, the last thing she needed was a marriage steeped in bitterness and founded on duty. Yeah, that was a recipe for happily ever after.
But if she stayed single, she doomed the baby to the same lonely, poverty-stricken latchkey childhood she’d endured. And what if something happened to her? What if, like her mother, she got cancer and left this earth with her daughter only nine years old?
Who would take Layla then?
As for God —right. He would hardly rush to her side to help.
A food service attendant trundled a cart of breakfast down the hall, past her. Her stomach recoiled at the smell.
Raina pressed her forehead to the cool glass.
You will always regret this . . .
She shook Casper’s voice from her head and followed the food cart back toward her room.
She might not be keeping her child, but it didn’t negate the fact that she’d given life to another human being. And given the gift of motherhood to a woman who longed for a child.
Yes, that thought could almost temper the urge to curl into a ball and weep.
Sunlight cascaded in through the windows, the sky blue for the first time in weeks. A golden layer of snow blanketed the landscape, soft and ethereal as she entered her room.
She climbed into bed, drawing the covers up. Leaned back into the pillows, her body still sore from yesterday’s quick birth. She closed her eyes, heard the knock at the door.
Breakfast. “Come in.”
The door eased open. “Good morning, Raina.”
She opened her eyes to Dori Marcus, her social worker fromthe adoption agency. In her late twenties, she wore a crisp green jacket and her dark hair boy-short. Put together, confident.
As if she knew all the right decisions.
“Are you ready to get this paperwork done?”
Dori didn’t say the words directly —it seemed that perhaps the social workers at Open Hearts Adoption Agency were schooled in the delicate art of convincing a woman to surrender her child into the arms of another. In fact, ever since Raina had contacted the agency, they’d treated her with a sort of gentleness, as if she might spook, change her mind.
She couldn’t turn back now. “Yeah, I’m ready.”
“Perfect. Irene and Michael are here and ready to take the baby home.”
Raina tried not to let those words sting. She swallowed and opened the file of papers Dori handed her.
“Just so you understand, this is a temporary agreement until the judge signs the formal papers in sixty days,” Dori explained. “You’ll sign the formal relinquishment before then. The waiting period gives you a chance to think through your decision before it becomes permanent.”
“I’ve thought it through —I don’t need to wait.”
“Of course not. But it also gives the adoptive parents a chance —”
“They’re not going to give her back, are they?”
Dori shook her head. “It’s just a precaution so the state can monitor how
Similar Books
