much? What has changed? What was so important? What was he forgetting? And then it hit him. He remembered the moment before the fall. He remembered everything.
“You’re pregnant?!" screamed Hollis in both a question and a statement. His face was filled with blood, his temples pulsing, and all the numbness was lost.
Autumn bounced back from the bed, unexpectant of an altercation.
“Be quiet Hollis, please," she said to him in fear, checking to see if the door was sealed and their voices contained. “The other’s- they don’t know yet."
“You think I give a damn if the colony knows?! I’ll scream it from the mountains! You act like this is nothing, but this is everything!" Hollis was sitting up now, and in his sudden jolted rise he disconnected some of the medical tubings from his body. Clear fluids poured from the plastic pipes onto the white sheets of his bed, streaming along canals in the cloth and making small waterfalls at the bed's edge onto the white floor. A soft alarm went off on the nearby machine, but Novak did not show at the door. Hollis assumed that the doctor was probably deep within a bottle of liquor in some dark corner of the Hub, far away from them now. A dramatic entrance did not concern Hollis anytime soon, not at least until Novak’s bottle of vodka was dry.
“Hollis, be careful. Just calm down and listen to me. I thought you didn’t remember. I thought the amnesia blocked it all out," she quickly said.
“No, I remember Autumn! The moment before I fainted you told me you were pregnant! Pregnant with my child, for fucks sakes! How did this happen?!"
“Keep your voice down, please, they can’t know. Saul can’t know. If he find’s out I’m pregnant and it’s yours, he’ll lose it entirely. Who knows what he’ll do to you. To me. I’ve been together with him for three years now, and these day’s, with this population, that means everything. It means a future," Autumn begged. “Please, think, and stop this."
The reality of the situation sank in, and Hollis ceased his screaming. He leaned back in the inclined bed and rubbed his temples.
“This can’t be real. This can’t be happening. Not now. Not here," breathed Hollis. He kept the pressure on his aching head. “It could be Saul’s. It could be his."
Autumn pulled back her head, holding back tears. “No, it can’t be. The date of conception was when I was with you." She paused. “That night in Station Seven, a few months before we lost Earth."
“Stop saying that!" Hollis screamed. “Stop reminding me that we lost Earth as if I don’t think about it every passing second!"
“I’m sorry," Autumn whispered.
“Why did you do this? Why did you do this to me?" he panicked.
“It takes two. It’s not like I just woke up and decided for this to happen to me. I didn’t want this either, how do you think I could?"
“I don’t know what you want."
“You don’t? Do you really think I want to have a child here, on this awful planet? You think I want my child to grow up in a world without grass or trees or water? You think I want to raise someone that would always be hidden under a mask, quarantined for life. Someone who can never feel the wind on their face or a river running through their fingers? Do you think I wanted any of this? You can hate the situation we’re in Hollis, and you can damn well even hate me, but know that we’re in this together whether you want it or not. There’s no denying that much. There’s no denying that this is a problem we created together and we can only fix together."
Autumn was desperate for a reconciliation. She shielded her eyes anticipating a brutal response, and her legs trembled in the waiting. She was more afraid than him, and Hollis saw that now.
He spoke softly, in reluctant understanding. “So how do we fix it?" he calmly said. It wasn’t exactly what she wanted to hear, but it was a start to a much-needed conversation.
Autumn came back to the bedside eyeing the
“You’re pregnant?!" screamed Hollis in both a question and a statement. His face was filled with blood, his temples pulsing, and all the numbness was lost.
Autumn bounced back from the bed, unexpectant of an altercation.
“Be quiet Hollis, please," she said to him in fear, checking to see if the door was sealed and their voices contained. “The other’s- they don’t know yet."
“You think I give a damn if the colony knows?! I’ll scream it from the mountains! You act like this is nothing, but this is everything!" Hollis was sitting up now, and in his sudden jolted rise he disconnected some of the medical tubings from his body. Clear fluids poured from the plastic pipes onto the white sheets of his bed, streaming along canals in the cloth and making small waterfalls at the bed's edge onto the white floor. A soft alarm went off on the nearby machine, but Novak did not show at the door. Hollis assumed that the doctor was probably deep within a bottle of liquor in some dark corner of the Hub, far away from them now. A dramatic entrance did not concern Hollis anytime soon, not at least until Novak’s bottle of vodka was dry.
“Hollis, be careful. Just calm down and listen to me. I thought you didn’t remember. I thought the amnesia blocked it all out," she quickly said.
“No, I remember Autumn! The moment before I fainted you told me you were pregnant! Pregnant with my child, for fucks sakes! How did this happen?!"
“Keep your voice down, please, they can’t know. Saul can’t know. If he find’s out I’m pregnant and it’s yours, he’ll lose it entirely. Who knows what he’ll do to you. To me. I’ve been together with him for three years now, and these day’s, with this population, that means everything. It means a future," Autumn begged. “Please, think, and stop this."
The reality of the situation sank in, and Hollis ceased his screaming. He leaned back in the inclined bed and rubbed his temples.
“This can’t be real. This can’t be happening. Not now. Not here," breathed Hollis. He kept the pressure on his aching head. “It could be Saul’s. It could be his."
Autumn pulled back her head, holding back tears. “No, it can’t be. The date of conception was when I was with you." She paused. “That night in Station Seven, a few months before we lost Earth."
“Stop saying that!" Hollis screamed. “Stop reminding me that we lost Earth as if I don’t think about it every passing second!"
“I’m sorry," Autumn whispered.
“Why did you do this? Why did you do this to me?" he panicked.
“It takes two. It’s not like I just woke up and decided for this to happen to me. I didn’t want this either, how do you think I could?"
“I don’t know what you want."
“You don’t? Do you really think I want to have a child here, on this awful planet? You think I want my child to grow up in a world without grass or trees or water? You think I want to raise someone that would always be hidden under a mask, quarantined for life. Someone who can never feel the wind on their face or a river running through their fingers? Do you think I wanted any of this? You can hate the situation we’re in Hollis, and you can damn well even hate me, but know that we’re in this together whether you want it or not. There’s no denying that much. There’s no denying that this is a problem we created together and we can only fix together."
Autumn was desperate for a reconciliation. She shielded her eyes anticipating a brutal response, and her legs trembled in the waiting. She was more afraid than him, and Hollis saw that now.
He spoke softly, in reluctant understanding. “So how do we fix it?" he calmly said. It wasn’t exactly what she wanted to hear, but it was a start to a much-needed conversation.
Autumn came back to the bedside eyeing the
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