Read Online All the Lucky Ones Are Dead by Gar Anthony Haywood - Free Book Online Page B

just like I said he would!”
    â€œNo. He didn’t.” Gunner crossed over to take Mickey by the arm, guide him forcefully to the door. “Man just needed to let off a little steam, that’s all. You can leave us alone now, he’s all right.”
    Mickey gave Gunner a long look, questioning his sanity, and finally eased back out of the room. Jolly continued to just sit there, head turned down toward the floor. Gunner looked around, saw his Ruger in a distant corner where the big man had discarded it, and moved to retrieve it. Then he sat down at his desk and waited patiently for Jolly’s gaze to turn his way.
    â€œIt wasn’t my fault, Jolly,” he said.
    â€œYou could’ve stopped me,” Jolly said bitterly, eyes brimming with tears.
    â€œIt wasn’t my job to stop you.”
    â€œShe said she asked you for help! You were supposed to be my friend!”
    â€œAnd if I’d talked to you for her, what then? What were you going to do? Stop beating her because I said so?”
    â€œNo! But—”
    â€œShe was your wife, Jolly. Not mine. I wasn’t going to waste my breath trying to make you respect a woman when you had no respect for yourself.”
    It was a harsh thing to say, but it was true. And it shut Jolly up, which was Gunner’s intent. The big man was rubbing his nose in something the investigator had been trying for years to forget. Justifiably or not, he’d always held himself at least partially responsible for Grace Mokes’s death, and he didn’t like Jolly reinforcing those sentiments now. He had enough guilt to deal with.
    â€œYou’re right,” Jolly said, nodding his head slowly. “I didn’t have no respect for myself.”
    â€œDidn’t?”
    â€œThat’s right. Didn’t. I know you ain’t gonna believe this, Gunner, but I’m a different man now. I’ve been saved.”
    â€œSaved? You?”
    â€œI found Jesus back in the joint, and he found me. I know now that it’s wrong for a man to lay his hands on a woman in anger, especially his wife. The Word says so, Ephesians chapter five, verse twenty-eight: ‘Husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.’”
    Gunner didn’t know what to say. The big man wasn’t just mouthing the words, he seemed to wholeheartedly believe them. “I’m happy for you, Jolly. Really. But if you came here looking for converts …”
    â€œConverts? Naw, man. I ain’t lookin’ to convert nobody.”
    â€œThen what are you doing here?”
    â€œI’m lookin’ to make restitution. For what I did to Grace, and all the other folks I done wrong in the past.”
    â€œI’m not following you.”
    â€œLord says I got some serious service to do here in the community. He even got me out early so I could get started. I could go work with a preacher, or one of them youth groups, but I’d rather work with you.”
    â€œMe?”
    â€œYou ain’t a cop, I know, but you do the same kinda work, right?”
    â€œNo. I don’t—”
    â€œI need a job, Gunner. Otherwise, they’re gonna send me back inside. When I asked the Lord where to find one, he told me to come see you. So here I am.”
    The big man fixed his eyes on Gunner’s and defied his old friend to turn away. Gunner didn’t even try.
    â€œThe Lord tell you to try and kill me too?” he asked.
    â€œNo. That was on me. I really did use’ to blame you for what I done to Grace, man. ’Fore I was saved, I mean. I guess seein’ you again kinda brought it all back for me.” He shrugged, said, “I’m sorry.”
    â€œForget about it. I’m sorry too. Because I can’t help you, Jolly.”
    â€œYou can’t?”
    â€œI don’t have any work for you. I don’t have any work for anybody . I run a one-man operation here,