Read Online All Alone in the Universe by Lynne Rae Perkins - Free Book Online
Authors: Lynne Rae Perkins
Tags: Ages 10 & Up
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guys talking about?”
“I can‧t tell you,” said Glenna. “It‧s a secret.”
I turned to Maureen. “Can you tell me?” I asked.
“If I told you, it wouldn‧t be a secret,” she said.
“But I‧m your friend, too!” I blurted out.
“I promised I wouldn‧t tell anyone,” she said.
Glenna smiled sweetly.
“Maureen!” I pleaded.
“Maybe you could guess,” she said. “And I could nod my head if you guessed right.”
So that‧s what we did for the next three or four days. Maureen and Glenna had spent the last month making up a secret code to talk about people and their girlfriends and boyfriends. It was stupid. I was desperate to know it anyway.
I started to bring up topics that would leave Glenna out I told Maureen about going back to George‧s garden, though I didn‧t mention why I had gone there. I talked about chorus, which Glenna wasn‧t in, and gym, which she wasn‧t very good at. Glenna came up with new secret words I had to guess and made plans with Maureen that, for all sorts of reasons, couldn‧t include me. I brought up things Maureen and I had done together over the years. Glenna had fresh things.
It was junky. Maureen didn‧t see why we couldn‧t all just be friends. I would have thought that, too, if I were the one everyone liked.
On a morning that seemed at first like all the others, I walked to the corner of Maureen‧s street. My feet paused as I looked up toward her house. Then, to my surprise, my feet started up again and headed down Prospect Hill Road. What am I doing? I wondered. The rest of me wasn‧t feeling nearly as independent and free-spirited as my feet seemed to. They stepped forward in a determined way, and the rest of me, since it was attached, couldn‧t help going along.
From Moyhend Street down to Birch, my feet trotted past the new brick houses and the cinder alley, then the older houses with porches and front yards that are lower than the sidewalk.
From Birch Street down to Lillian. Small clumps of kids drifted from their houses and the side streets onto the broken sidewalks. My feet, still moving briskly, stepped out onto the bare roots and dirt between the trees to go around them.
From Lillian Street down to Pine. Ahead of the crowd now, I let gravity pull me down to the bottom of the hill. Only a few kids were sitting on the steps and benches outside the school. I walked past them, pulled open the heavy door, and went inside.
Now, what? I thought.
“Where were you this morning?” It was Maureen, accompanied by her faithful leech, Glenna. I looked up from where I was squatting, searching for change in the bottom of my locker. My Maureen. Not my Maureen. But Maureen still. At least this time she had noticed I wasn‧t there.
That‧s something, I thought.
That‧s not enough, said a voice inside me.
It‧s all I have, I thought back.
You will have friendship again, said a third voice. Good friendship. Who said that? I wondered.
“I had to come early,” I said aloud, “so I could go to the library and finish my civics paper.” I had never lied to Maureen before. I waited for her to see through my flimsy alibi.
“Oh,” she said, believing me. How could she believe me? Something inside me was jumping up and down, waving its arms, and yelling, “It‧s not true, it‧s not true!” I looked back into my locker so she wouldn‧t see it. Locker doors were banging all around. “Let‧s go,” she said.
“We‧re going to be late,” whinnied Glenna. “You guys go ahead,” I said. “I‧ll catch up in a minute.”
I kept moving things around in the bottom of my locker. Then I stood up and moved things around in the top of my locker. A large lump was in my throat, and I hoped I wouldn‧t have to speak to anyone. The din of the hallway quieted behind me. Classroom doors clicked shut, sealing in the clatter and the racket, putting the lids on jars filled with bees.
I was still standing there in front of my locker. I couldn‧t
“I can‧t tell you,” said Glenna. “It‧s a secret.”
I turned to Maureen. “Can you tell me?” I asked.
“If I told you, it wouldn‧t be a secret,” she said.
“But I‧m your friend, too!” I blurted out.
“I promised I wouldn‧t tell anyone,” she said.
Glenna smiled sweetly.
“Maureen!” I pleaded.
“Maybe you could guess,” she said. “And I could nod my head if you guessed right.”
So that‧s what we did for the next three or four days. Maureen and Glenna had spent the last month making up a secret code to talk about people and their girlfriends and boyfriends. It was stupid. I was desperate to know it anyway.
I started to bring up topics that would leave Glenna out I told Maureen about going back to George‧s garden, though I didn‧t mention why I had gone there. I talked about chorus, which Glenna wasn‧t in, and gym, which she wasn‧t very good at. Glenna came up with new secret words I had to guess and made plans with Maureen that, for all sorts of reasons, couldn‧t include me. I brought up things Maureen and I had done together over the years. Glenna had fresh things.
It was junky. Maureen didn‧t see why we couldn‧t all just be friends. I would have thought that, too, if I were the one everyone liked.
On a morning that seemed at first like all the others, I walked to the corner of Maureen‧s street. My feet paused as I looked up toward her house. Then, to my surprise, my feet started up again and headed down Prospect Hill Road. What am I doing? I wondered. The rest of me wasn‧t feeling nearly as independent and free-spirited as my feet seemed to. They stepped forward in a determined way, and the rest of me, since it was attached, couldn‧t help going along.
From Moyhend Street down to Birch, my feet trotted past the new brick houses and the cinder alley, then the older houses with porches and front yards that are lower than the sidewalk.
From Birch Street down to Lillian. Small clumps of kids drifted from their houses and the side streets onto the broken sidewalks. My feet, still moving briskly, stepped out onto the bare roots and dirt between the trees to go around them.
From Lillian Street down to Pine. Ahead of the crowd now, I let gravity pull me down to the bottom of the hill. Only a few kids were sitting on the steps and benches outside the school. I walked past them, pulled open the heavy door, and went inside.
Now, what? I thought.
“Where were you this morning?” It was Maureen, accompanied by her faithful leech, Glenna. I looked up from where I was squatting, searching for change in the bottom of my locker. My Maureen. Not my Maureen. But Maureen still. At least this time she had noticed I wasn‧t there.
That‧s something, I thought.
That‧s not enough, said a voice inside me.
It‧s all I have, I thought back.
You will have friendship again, said a third voice. Good friendship. Who said that? I wondered.
“I had to come early,” I said aloud, “so I could go to the library and finish my civics paper.” I had never lied to Maureen before. I waited for her to see through my flimsy alibi.
“Oh,” she said, believing me. How could she believe me? Something inside me was jumping up and down, waving its arms, and yelling, “It‧s not true, it‧s not true!” I looked back into my locker so she wouldn‧t see it. Locker doors were banging all around. “Let‧s go,” she said.
“We‧re going to be late,” whinnied Glenna. “You guys go ahead,” I said. “I‧ll catch up in a minute.”
I kept moving things around in the bottom of my locker. Then I stood up and moved things around in the top of my locker. A large lump was in my throat, and I hoped I wouldn‧t have to speak to anyone. The din of the hallway quieted behind me. Classroom doors clicked shut, sealing in the clatter and the racket, putting the lids on jars filled with bees.
I was still standing there in front of my locker. I couldn‧t
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