Read Online All Alone in the Universe by Lynne Rae Perkins - Free Book Online Page B
Authors: Lynne Rae Perkins
Tags: Ages 10 & Up
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Miss Epler. “Punctual, clean, and neat. What else?”
I didn‧t feel like playing this game anymore. I said, “She took my friend away from me. I don‧t like her.”
“Okay,” said Miss Epler. “I see.”
The air was humid and heavy and crammed with the grating sounds of jackhammers, bulldozers, and cement mixers from Birdvale. They were building a 650-foot-high smokestack at the power plant, so that the fly ash would float farther away before settling to the earth and landing on someone else‧s town.
“You know,” said Miss Epler, “maybe this person didn‧t take your friend away from you.”
“Yes, she did,” I shot back.
“Maybe partly,” she said carefully. “But at least partly it was your friend who left. All by herself. I just think that if you‧re going to be angry, you should be angry at the right person.”
It was my friend who left.
All by herself.
A black pit opened inside me, and I fell in. I fell and I fell.
When I stopped falling, my face and my hands and my knees were warm and wet with tears, and the cold stone step I was sitting on was making me numb. I felt Miss Epler‧s hands squeezing my shoulders, and I heard her murmuring, “It‧s okay, it‧s okay, you‧re going to be all right, it‧s okay, I mean, I know it certainly doesn‧t
feel
okay right now, but you will be okay.”
My breath was coming in jerky sobs, evening out only to collapse again. Finally, I got my breathing to calm down. In, out, in, out No loud noises. I lifted my head, and my glasses slid down to the tip of my tear-slicked nose. I dried them with my skirt, then used my sleeve to wipe my face, but I needed something else to blow my nose.
“Here,” said Miss Epler. She handed me some Kleenex. She was watching me with a concerned expression.
“It‧s a good thing I‧m not the guidance counselor,” she said. “The whole school would be bawling. Everyone would have to wear life jackets.
“Listen,” she said. “It‧s almost time for the bell. Let‧s go in and wash your face.” She took me into the teachers’ washroom and put wet paper towels on my face and drops of Visine in my eyes.
“This is how all the stars do it” she said. And then: “Maybe just a little blusher,” brushing some pink onto my cheeks. “You want eye shadow? You would look stunning in lavender, but you have too much on your mind today to be fighting off advances. Let‧s just use a little concealer to deblotchify you.” I let her pat something around my eyes, her bracelets bangling and clacking together on her arm. She was trying to jolly me up, and her voice was calming, but when she led me to the mirror, I looked like death with rosy cheeks.
“Now, take a deep breath,” she said, “and if anyone asks, you have hay fever. I think there‧s still some ragweed out there. And if there isn‧t, who cares, right?”
I wondered how long this hay fever season would be lasting.
We stepped out of the washroom, and the bell rang.
“Hang in there, kiddo,” said Miss Epler. She gave my arm another squeeze. “Are you going to be okay?” I tried to smile but didn‧t even come close. I felt tears welling up again.
“You are,” she said. “You are absolutely going to be okay. Okay? I‧ll see you sixth period.”
The wave of voices and footsteps swelled and burst through the classroom doors into the hallway. I let myself be carried back to my locker, where I messed up the combination three times before getting it right. I slipped back into the current that was pulsing up the stairs and ejected myself into life science class. For once I was grateful that alphabetical order kept me on the far side of the room from where Maureen and Glenna would sit.
I opened my notebook and didn‧t look up when I heard their voices entering the room. I wasn‧t ready to look at anyone. My eyes and my heart felt thick and swollen. Paul Nepovicz was sitting in front of me, and I stared at the back of his shirt It was paisley, in
I didn‧t feel like playing this game anymore. I said, “She took my friend away from me. I don‧t like her.”
“Okay,” said Miss Epler. “I see.”
The air was humid and heavy and crammed with the grating sounds of jackhammers, bulldozers, and cement mixers from Birdvale. They were building a 650-foot-high smokestack at the power plant, so that the fly ash would float farther away before settling to the earth and landing on someone else‧s town.
“You know,” said Miss Epler, “maybe this person didn‧t take your friend away from you.”
“Yes, she did,” I shot back.
“Maybe partly,” she said carefully. “But at least partly it was your friend who left. All by herself. I just think that if you‧re going to be angry, you should be angry at the right person.”
It was my friend who left.
All by herself.
A black pit opened inside me, and I fell in. I fell and I fell.
When I stopped falling, my face and my hands and my knees were warm and wet with tears, and the cold stone step I was sitting on was making me numb. I felt Miss Epler‧s hands squeezing my shoulders, and I heard her murmuring, “It‧s okay, it‧s okay, you‧re going to be all right, it‧s okay, I mean, I know it certainly doesn‧t
feel
okay right now, but you will be okay.”
My breath was coming in jerky sobs, evening out only to collapse again. Finally, I got my breathing to calm down. In, out, in, out No loud noises. I lifted my head, and my glasses slid down to the tip of my tear-slicked nose. I dried them with my skirt, then used my sleeve to wipe my face, but I needed something else to blow my nose.
“Here,” said Miss Epler. She handed me some Kleenex. She was watching me with a concerned expression.
“It‧s a good thing I‧m not the guidance counselor,” she said. “The whole school would be bawling. Everyone would have to wear life jackets.
“Listen,” she said. “It‧s almost time for the bell. Let‧s go in and wash your face.” She took me into the teachers’ washroom and put wet paper towels on my face and drops of Visine in my eyes.
“This is how all the stars do it” she said. And then: “Maybe just a little blusher,” brushing some pink onto my cheeks. “You want eye shadow? You would look stunning in lavender, but you have too much on your mind today to be fighting off advances. Let‧s just use a little concealer to deblotchify you.” I let her pat something around my eyes, her bracelets bangling and clacking together on her arm. She was trying to jolly me up, and her voice was calming, but when she led me to the mirror, I looked like death with rosy cheeks.
“Now, take a deep breath,” she said, “and if anyone asks, you have hay fever. I think there‧s still some ragweed out there. And if there isn‧t, who cares, right?”
I wondered how long this hay fever season would be lasting.
We stepped out of the washroom, and the bell rang.
“Hang in there, kiddo,” said Miss Epler. She gave my arm another squeeze. “Are you going to be okay?” I tried to smile but didn‧t even come close. I felt tears welling up again.
“You are,” she said. “You are absolutely going to be okay. Okay? I‧ll see you sixth period.”
The wave of voices and footsteps swelled and burst through the classroom doors into the hallway. I let myself be carried back to my locker, where I messed up the combination three times before getting it right. I slipped back into the current that was pulsing up the stairs and ejected myself into life science class. For once I was grateful that alphabetical order kept me on the far side of the room from where Maureen and Glenna would sit.
I opened my notebook and didn‧t look up when I heard their voices entering the room. I wasn‧t ready to look at anyone. My eyes and my heart felt thick and swollen. Paul Nepovicz was sitting in front of me, and I stared at the back of his shirt It was paisley, in
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