were saying we’d be friends, before you got angry with me. I wanted to feel the same way, the way I would have felt about meeting you if I hadn’t found out all these things. I don’t want to be like our people were. I keep telling myself that I’m not like them, and then I think of what they did.”
“I used to think there was something wrong with me,” Nita said. “I thought it was only because I wasn’t more like Llipel. Sven, what can we do?”
“I don’t know.” His cheeks reddened. “Whatever happens, I’d be sorry if I couldn’t see you again.”
“So would I.” She reached across the table and took his hand. His fingers were longer, his palm broader, but his was a hand like her own, without fur and claws. Behind his eyes, there was a mind like hers. What their people had done, however horrible, was past; she would do everything in her power to see that their deeds did not touch her and the boy. “We can be friends, at least for now. We can, can’t we? I promise you I’ll be a friend. Please promise me that you won’t be so unhappy, that you’ll be glad we’re together, whatever comes.”
He did not speak. The sorrowful look that had angered and hurt her before moved her now. She squeezed Sven’s hand; she had thought that touching one of her own kind would not be too different from touching Llipel, but she could feel a warmth rushing through her.
Sven looked up and smiled. She seemed to feel his smile from the inside as she smiled back.
He slipped his hand from hers. She wondered if she had been holding it too tightly. She would have to question Beate and Ismail about more of their customs; she did not know how to behave with one of her own kind.
“I am glad I found out about you, Nita,” he said. “I’m not sorry about that, but you did scare me a little, shouting in the garden and then again in the lobby. I thought maybe it was your time for fighting.”
She giggled. “It isn’t, really. I shout so much at Llipel sometimes—she’d tell you that it’s just the way I am. Maybe I wouldn’t do it so often if she’d show more of a reaction, but it never seems to affect her that much.”
“I know what you mean. With Llare, I’d just get quiet and refuse to talk, but he’d decide then that maybe it was a time of silence, or something.”
“One thing puzzles me,” she said. “I go into the garden a lot, and the west wing has windows facing it. You could have seen me there any number of times and I wouldn’t have known you were there. Why did it take you so long to find out about me?”
“Llare didn’t let me into the rooms on that side, except for the bathrooms, and later, the library, and they don’t have windows. He wouldn’t authorize me to enter the others, and I had the courtyard when I wanted to go outside. I knew about the garden, but he told me Llipel went there and that it wasn’t a time of togetherness for her.”
“Then how did you finally find out?”
“I took Llare’s authorization one night,” Sven said. “I knew more about how the mind functioned by then, so I gave it an order to allow me inside all the west wing’s rooms, even when I wasn’t authorized. Llare never found out, so he never overrode my command. I made sure I didn’t go into those rooms unless he was out by his ship. That’s how I first saw you, in the garden.”
She was struck by his enterprise, and a little annoyed that she hadn’t thought of taking Llipel’s authorization earlier. She had berated her guardian and begged for more freedom instead of acting for herself.
“What did you do then?” she asked.
“I was so shocked I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t know how you’d react, and there was a chance you knew about me already and just didn’t want to meet me. I took Llare’s authorization three times after that, and sometimes I saw you in the garden when he was out by his ship, but Llipel was usually with you.”
He had certainly seen her naked; she wore
“I used to think there was something wrong with me,” Nita said. “I thought it was only because I wasn’t more like Llipel. Sven, what can we do?”
“I don’t know.” His cheeks reddened. “Whatever happens, I’d be sorry if I couldn’t see you again.”
“So would I.” She reached across the table and took his hand. His fingers were longer, his palm broader, but his was a hand like her own, without fur and claws. Behind his eyes, there was a mind like hers. What their people had done, however horrible, was past; she would do everything in her power to see that their deeds did not touch her and the boy. “We can be friends, at least for now. We can, can’t we? I promise you I’ll be a friend. Please promise me that you won’t be so unhappy, that you’ll be glad we’re together, whatever comes.”
He did not speak. The sorrowful look that had angered and hurt her before moved her now. She squeezed Sven’s hand; she had thought that touching one of her own kind would not be too different from touching Llipel, but she could feel a warmth rushing through her.
Sven looked up and smiled. She seemed to feel his smile from the inside as she smiled back.
He slipped his hand from hers. She wondered if she had been holding it too tightly. She would have to question Beate and Ismail about more of their customs; she did not know how to behave with one of her own kind.
“I am glad I found out about you, Nita,” he said. “I’m not sorry about that, but you did scare me a little, shouting in the garden and then again in the lobby. I thought maybe it was your time for fighting.”
She giggled. “It isn’t, really. I shout so much at Llipel sometimes—she’d tell you that it’s just the way I am. Maybe I wouldn’t do it so often if she’d show more of a reaction, but it never seems to affect her that much.”
“I know what you mean. With Llare, I’d just get quiet and refuse to talk, but he’d decide then that maybe it was a time of silence, or something.”
“One thing puzzles me,” she said. “I go into the garden a lot, and the west wing has windows facing it. You could have seen me there any number of times and I wouldn’t have known you were there. Why did it take you so long to find out about me?”
“Llare didn’t let me into the rooms on that side, except for the bathrooms, and later, the library, and they don’t have windows. He wouldn’t authorize me to enter the others, and I had the courtyard when I wanted to go outside. I knew about the garden, but he told me Llipel went there and that it wasn’t a time of togetherness for her.”
“Then how did you finally find out?”
“I took Llare’s authorization one night,” Sven said. “I knew more about how the mind functioned by then, so I gave it an order to allow me inside all the west wing’s rooms, even when I wasn’t authorized. Llare never found out, so he never overrode my command. I made sure I didn’t go into those rooms unless he was out by his ship. That’s how I first saw you, in the garden.”
She was struck by his enterprise, and a little annoyed that she hadn’t thought of taking Llipel’s authorization earlier. She had berated her guardian and begged for more freedom instead of acting for herself.
“What did you do then?” she asked.
“I was so shocked I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t know how you’d react, and there was a chance you knew about me already and just didn’t want to meet me. I took Llare’s authorization three times after that, and sometimes I saw you in the garden when he was out by his ship, but Llipel was usually with you.”
He had certainly seen her naked; she wore
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